Entry 193: Mama’s Peach Tea

Mama makes the best peach tea

Just ask anyone in Black Winter

You’ll see…

They’ll tell you it is the best you can find

I’d agree, it is simply divine

It has a perfect flavor

Goes great with any meal

Many people ask…

What does Mama put in that tea

That makes it such a delicious treat?!

I tell em’ it is a family secret

One for which no one will ever know

I tell them,

It is made with love

Tons of it!

I mean, you’d have to love a peach just right

To allow it to grow to the right size

Mama says aging them to about 7-9 years

Makes for the best kind of tea

She claims at that age

They’ve had the perfect amount of life

Just the right amount of love

You can make the best brew

Also, that is the point where you get the right tint

For the signature red hue and that perfect color

Our tea is known for

It isn’t about just the taste she says

In fact, if you really want the perfect brew

You’ll find a peach that’s anywhere between 7-9

But also…

Is plump…more peach juice for that tea she says

Sheriff came around one time

He told Mama that her tea was something else

He’d had no words for how delicious it could be

He was baffled by the consistency

Said, I don’t know how you do it Mama?

However,

You sure make a damn great peach tea!

Mama and I laughed when that happened…

We simply smiled and told him

Love, that is the secret ingredient in our tea

On the sheriff went, happy as can be

Yes…

*Smiling Wink*

If you ever want the best tea

Do yourself a favor…

Try…

-Mama’s Peach Tea-

Entry 192: Abuse Me Again

The sound of rain

It reminds me of you

The scars you’ve put on me

Remind of you too

It made me happy the day I fought back

You beat me

Spit on me

Made me lick your boots

It sucked…

No more than usual

Filming for your friends

Everything you did to me

They weren’t much better

All of them were pieces of shit

I tried to tell the police,

They did nothing

No one would believe me

You were too good at what you did

Probably helped

You were also a detective

Still, even with all the things you did

Even with what you did to me that night

I felt something,

Slightly different inside

I felt something snap

A smile appearing from my bloody lips

Internally, I was plotting

I pushed you

Night after night

Let you abuse me

For a while after that

Every time you busted my lip open

Or I felt a cut from your knife

I smiled inside

Eventually, I couldn’t hide the smile

It made you angrier

You had your way with me

I let you…

I laughed at the camera while you fucked me!

I smiled again when you beat me for it

I grew to enjoy the abuse and the pain

That didn’t change,

What I had planned for you and your friends

You invited them over,

I smiled

Wore something revealing for them

I’m nothing but a cheap whore you said

No one would ever care about me

I’d be nothing

There was no hope

No help for me

Well…

You didn’t know what I’d been doing

The beast whispering to me at night

The thing that lurked inside my mind

You pushed me to want suicide

Once upon a time

Then…

Funny thing,

I tried it…

I took your gun one night

Put it to my chin

Aiming for my brain

I pulled the trigger

Nothing happened…

A voice said my name

She was quite menacing in tone

Not…tonight…

I tried, again

Nothing worked

The gun never worked

I even pointed it at you and nothing

So, I put your gun back

Went to bed

Embrace the pain for a bit

That’s what her voice said

So I did…

It has been quite a while

5 years in fact

All that time, the shame and abuse

It fueled me

Maybe it was her

I’m unsure…

I do know though

Tonight, that changed

I went out back

Not entirely myself

The Chainsaw will be perfect for the deed

They’ll regret everything…

That’s what her voice said

So after a twirl

A smack on my ass

The final humiliation was to begin…

They were going to all have me

Film it

Watch it again and again…

They didn’t say that

I could hear her telling me that in my head

I laughed so happily as she did

That’s what they think they will do…

She said…

I said, give me a bit

I’m going to freshen up a little more

I walked away

They laughed

Stupid bitch! Shameful slut!

When we’re done with you…

You won’t walk!

All the laughs, the cheers with the things they said

I smiled…

Give me a minute

I went out back

My husband shouting at me

Telling me taking my time

Would increase my pain

I’d still make them sandwiches

Even if I couldn’t walk

I’m nothing more than a whore…

That’s what he thought anyways

I went to the shed

I knew the fuel was full

I came back in

Whistling my favorite song

My husband ran into the kitchen

I’d started up the engine

How lovely the blood was!

The look on his face was priceless

They heard him scream

All were in shock

I laughed away

Bathing myself in their blood

One by one

The saws teeth tearing into them

Eventually,

There was but one…

He pulled his gun

Click, click, click

It didn’t work

Of course not

She was there

Watching over me

I laughed as I tore into his flesh

He tried to run,

Then crawl…

Nothing happened but the sound of the chainsaw

His screams

The sight of his spine

As I tore open his back

Pulling it out and draping it over the coat rack

Such a beautiful sight

They were all dead

I turned looking at my bloody face

I was beautiful she said

Her voice

Something else entirely

Intoxicating

Perfect

It was then I realized

She was me

I…

Her

There was no one else

Just my own voice in my own head

Another me

Hidden within

I’ve always been here

I told myself

No one will ever…

-Abuse Me Again-

Entry 191: Well To Do

Dear Mr. Well To Do

I have a confession for you

I served you faithfully

Never saying anything

Preparing your meals

Cleaning up any mess

Not a word, did I ever say to

The Sheriff

I feel in the time I’ve spent with you

I’ve fallen in love with you

How could I not

A man of such class

Someone who has an interesting taste

Women swoon over you every single day

Yet, they know not the things I know

They see not the things I see

No other woman will ever understand you…

Quite like me

I know you’ve brought in a pretty young thing

Red hair, quite innocent is she

Do you believe she has the stomach

To take care of the things she needs to

Can she keep her peace the way I do for you?

I’ve trained her, each day

She seems well enough to me

However,

I’m not sure she is a keeper of secrets…

At least, not eternally

I’m up for a promotion, I hope

I’ve given you my devotion

I see the way you’ve looked at me

We were made for one another…

Don’t you think?

_________________

Dear sweet Elizabeth

You’ve done so much for me

I wish to reward you properly

Indeed a promotion is on its way

You deserve such, I think

I’ll admit you’ve caught my eye

Surely you’d make an amazing

Well To Do

Perhaps we can discuss that tonight?

I’ve already had everything arranged

Just you and me

A dinner for two

I look forward to seeing you

Soon…

____________________

I’ve arrived sweet sir

I hope I am perfect enough for you

I’ll admit this candlelit dinner makes me blush

I don’t come from a place of such class and sophistication

When you found me on the street

I knew I’d be yours eternally

_____________________

Indeed you are sweet

I picked you because I needed someone of your upbringing

I saw it in your eye the first day we met

You told me your name

Elizabeth…

How could someone so sweet

Be left to rot on the street?

You looked quite the part

I learned quickly

You my sweet, 

Were quite the smart soul indeed

Eat up, we have much to discuss…

___________________________

My heart swoons

Its beat so rapidly

It feels as though it will jump out of my chest

I dressed with just enough class

Showing, just enough of what I have to offer…

Physically…

Still, leaving enough to the imagination

I wouldn’t want to reveal everything

That smile is ever alluring indeed

I feel faint

Just in his gaze

What’s happening?

*faints*

_____________________

Oh dear, I forgot to tell you

I found the truth

I realize you were placed for me to find

I know all about your correspondence 

With our lovely police chief

He is in my deep freeze

Thought you were so bright

No, not tonight

I’m happy to say, you’ll make a fine dessert

Blood wine…

Just my wife and I’s

Favorite kind…

The right type too

It has been fun

Toying with you…

We’ll cut you up,

Make some of your meat

Save the rest for another time

Shame you didn’t realize the new girl…

She’s my wife

Not as smart as you once thought you were

You’ll make for a fine feast!

*New girl steps into the room*

I must say honey,

You are quite the actress…

Was vacation fun?

*Smiling*

Of course dear husband…

It was a great time

Although,

I’ve missed you

I’ll prep the girl, we will eat soon

Drink too,

Thank you so much my love

You’ve set up such a fine meal this night

I’m honored

To be your wife

-Well To Do-

 

 

Entry 190: Have You Seen Me?

#1 Have You Seen Me?

Missing: Samantha Hayes

Age: 7

Description: 4′

Blue eyes

Red hair

Pale skin

Father: Daniel Hayes

Reward: $5,000 if found alive

________________________

#2 Have You Seen Me?

Missing: Samantha Hayes

Age: 8

Description: 4′ 2” (estimated height)

Blue eyes

Red hair

Pale Skin

Father: Daniel Hayes

Reward: $10,000 if found alive

_______________________

#3 Have You Seen Me?

Missing: Samantha Hayes

Age: 9

Description: 4’5” (estimated height)

Blue eyes

Red hair

Pale skin

Father: Daniel Hayes

Reward: $20,000 if found…alive…

___________________________

#4 Have You Seen Me?

Missing: Samantha Hayes

Age: 10

Description: Between 4’7”-5′ (estimated height)

Blue eyes

Red hair

Pale skin

Father: Daniel Hayes

Reward: $50,000 if found…

____________________

To my father

I write to you today

To take away your troubles

To ease your pain

To tell you I love you

I’ve seen all the posters

I could feel the tears

You must be so worried

After all these years

I’m alive, 

Surviving…

If you receive this letter

I could be dead

I have no way to know

If you will even receive it or when

Time is different here…

If you wish to find me

Come to Black Winter

Meet me here

I’m not sure how to get here

I don’t remember much

I do remember you

I remember the park 

I remember playing that day

Going to bed that night

Then I was here…

If you ever happen to find a way here

I hope to be alive

Be warned, this place is no fantasy

I’ve seen things I don’t understand

I find myself lost 

I feel forgotten

Perhaps not though…

I keep finding my missing posters

Here and there

How they got here,

I have no way of knowing

Perhaps it is a sick trick of this place…

I don’t know if you stopped posting these posters

Or if you are alive

I’m 19 now though, or I believe

Like I said,

Time is different…

If you are out there

Find me soon please

I’ll try to survive…

In the hopes of seeing you…

I love you Dad…

Sincerely,

Samantha

_______________________

Have You Seen Me?

Missing: Daniel Hayes

Age: 42

Description: 5’7”

Red hair

Full Beard (same color as hair)

Blue eyes

Pale skin

Reward: $5,000 if found

Call local NYPD precinct if found or if you have any information

-Have You Seen Me?-

 

Entry 189: Things Heard In The Static #5: Swan Song

Got no place to be?

Perhaps you’re depressed?

Maybe, no one loves you?

Or you’ve lost everyone you’ve loved?

Well, perhaps joining our family will help you get on your way

Maybe, it will be just the distraction you need

If escape sounds good to you

Come find Grimley’s Dance Troupe

We are in The Black Hall

You need only sign a waiver

No experience required

You’ll have plenty of time to learn

The cost you ask?

Your eternity

No secrets

No fine print

Just honest to God dedication from you

So if you feel misplaced or all alone

Just pick up the phone

Dial 784-2433

You’ll be notified of the password

Then, simply follow the simple instructions given to you

We assure you

You’ll be dancing in no time

Grimley’s Dance Troupe

Dance so good

You’ll never want to leave!

-Things Heard In The Static #5: Swan Song-

Entry 188: A Work Of Art

Drip, drip, drip, drip…

You were driving me insane

Always going on about how

I’d never become anything

Not an artist

That is what you said

Well, look at me now

I’ve made art from your head

Drip, drip, drip, drip

Am I an artist enough now?

Did you see my basement?

Were you wowed?!

I know, all the body parts

Were probably a bit intense

Just know…

They were for future art as well

Little did you know

I’ve always been an artist

You just didn’t realize how

Drip, drip, drip, drip

Gotta drain you out

I use the blood to sign my name

Sometimes I even use it

To paint…

Drip, drip, drip, drip

Almost done now

I think I’ll use your eyes

For something special…

I’ll peel your flesh

Make a nice coat from it,

Pry your teeth

Make some jewelry

Perhaps, sell it at a store?

You’re right, you probably wouldn’t sell

You aren’t good enough,

Are you?

Drip, drip, drip, drip

I sawed off your feet

With them,

I was able to make a sculpture

I’ve been working on complete!

You have no idea

How happy that makes me!

Drip, drip, drip, drip

So who is an artist now?

I’ll be famous someday

You obviously won’t see

You are as dead as can be

Why do I talk to you anyhow?

It’s not like you’d listen

You didn’t when you were alive

Still…

Now you are the art teacher

Who became art

You’ll be a part of my collection

Once I’m finished picking you apart

Drip, drip, drip, drip

The student is now teacher

Aren’t you proud?!

You are now…

-A Work Of Art-

Entry 187: Mental War

Hello my friend

I speak in your mind

I’ll take you

Like I did your friend

I’ll take you

Like I’ll soon all those you love

Strap right in

It’s going to be a FUCKING BEAUTIFUL LIFE!

Did you hear her cries

Just before she died?

Do you hear them every night?

Oh boohoo

You could have been there for her

Instead she is mine

Her death a side effect

Another personality

I like to call her

Suicide!

Nightmares twisting your sanity

Everyone hates you anyways

I speak in truths

You say I lie

You try not to trust these thoughts in your mind

Yet here I am

Kissing you from within

Eventually driving you to insanity or suicide!

I’ll tear you apart…

Very slowly…

IT FEELS GOOD TO WATCH YOU MENTALLY DECAY!

FUCK YOU BITCH! YOU’RE MINE SOON ANYWAYS!

___________________

…………………

……………..

……

…

Night after night…you whisper to me

Time and time again, you prey upon my mind

I won’t let you take me or anyone else this time

You see, because that’s the thing

I FUCKING WATCHED TOO MANY DIE TO THIS!

So you think you are going to win

You had best think again

My mind won’t decay

It’s been through so much shit 

It is a special kind of fucked up anyways

I’ll have bad days

Things will get bleak

However,

I will never believe the lies you tell me

I’m not going to die

I’ll fight you to the end

Depression, you are a sick and twisted bitch

Too bad for you…

I’M MORE TWISTED!

I’m sick of the hate

The sadness for no reason

The isolation you make me feel

The way you try to lie

Turning those I love against me

Pushing me to lock myself away

WELL FUCKING GUESS WHAT?!

I’M NOT DYING THAT FUCKING WAY!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You think you have seen twisted

Here’s the thing,

I’ve only just begun

The mind is my own weapon

Not yours…

I will take you, kill you in every way

You will come back

I will do it again

Because…

In the end…

I WILL FUCKING WRECK YOU!

I’ll happily tear you apart piece by piece

You couldn’t have my sanity

It was never there to begin with

You are mine to torment

Living inside my mind

You’ll soon be crawling

CLAWING

BEGGING TO LEAVE!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Whispering*

I…won’t…let…you…

__________________

Big talk, but I know you and your mind

I’ll win this battle in due time

Remember all the death you’ve seen

Remember all the friends and family no longer here

REMEMBER THE DEEPEST SADNESS YOU FEEL

All…alone…

That pretty young thing

She’s no longer with us

Remember the noose

Remember how she hung

A lifeless body

Just there to see

Another failure

A waste of life

Go ahead and cry…

I can go deeper…

Is there something you’ve blocked out?

If there is,

I think you already suspect

Trust me, I will find it

I will use it to break you

Once and for all

You will be done

Your life forfeit

You won’t care to go on

I will numb your emotions

I will make you hated by your best friend

Your loved ones

ALL WILL BE MINE!

Piece by piece your soul will die

I will watch you cry

It will be such a wonderful time

Eventually all break,

Eventually…you will commit suicide!

That job, consider it gone

Your dreams, nothing

Your hopes, they are no more

Your life…

IT WILL BE MINE!

___________________

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

I’LL TEAR YOU APART!

I KNOW HOW, BETTER THAN ANYONE!

Meticulously turning everything you use against me

Then flipping it on its head

With my own brand of insanity!

They don’t hate me

You are a lie

I WILL NEVER FUCKING COMMIT SUICIDE!

That’s the thing depression

You’ve taken one too many

I can’t end that way and you won’t…

TAKE ANYONE ELSE FROM ME!

__________________________

What’s that?/YOUR FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!!!!

Who’s there?/BEST START RUNNING!

No…/OH YES!

I’m sorry…/TOO LATE FOR THAT!

He-/YOU’RE DEAD!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Mentally destroying you!

Tearing you to pieces

I feel so alive!

Death by all manner and means!

You’re going to fucking run from me!

Oh, you think you will jump to someone else?

You’re trapped in your own fucking hell!

I’ll tear you apart with all sorts of things!

I’M FUCKING SICK OF YOU DEPRESSION!

While I have fun, RIPPING OUT YOUR GUTS!

TIME AND AGAIN! 

WE’RE GOING TO HAVE ALL KINDS OF FUN!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

When you try to tear someone else apart

I’ll be there, whispering to you

Reminding you of all the horrible things I’m going to do to you!

Chainsaws, torture, burning you alive

Inside my mind, I can do anything to you!

SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, TIME TO DIE!

Every time you come back to life

I’ll end you again

Day after day

All my life if need be

You won’t fucking win 

I’ll fight you 

ETERNALLY!

-The War Within My Mind-

 

PSA:

For the others, out there fighting

Never give up hope,

I hope you never feel, suicide is the option

Please, I ask all of you

Be an inspiration and fight this horrible mental disease

Don’t succumb to this highly underestimated mental hell

Never give in to the lies

KEEP FIGHTING!

SURVIVE!

EVERY FUCKING DAY YOU LIVE!

IS A DAY YOU PROVED DEPRESSION WRONG!

Stand together, help others who are fighting it

Don’t ever disregard, someone else’s pain

Be there for one another

Encourage each other

We all have our own ways to deal with a horror like this

However,

Sticking together, being in each others lives

Reminding one another of all the good in their life

Together stand strong

You are not alone

SO FUCKING RIP DEPRESSION TO PIECES!

STAND STRONG!

If you feel alone, know you are not

This is a powerful disease

It affects many every day

It is debilitating

It will tear you apart

But…

That is only if you let it

You are going to have days you feel like you can’t survive

You may even have months or years like this at a time

Just keep strong

Look at the good in your life

Every day you live, is a day you survived

Every day you live, is a sign

Depression isn’t who you are

It is a mental scar

It is a lowly parasite

You are much stronger than its lies

Get help

Do not let it win over you…

You are worth every breath you take

Your life is well worth living

Don’t waste it…

Entry 186: Such A Lovely Smile

I still see you

Falling from that window

Death occurs

You ARE…DEAD!

Then, I wake up and you are there…

It happens again and again

I don’t understand why?!

The people in white tell me that I need my meds

They say no one is smiling…

Then again I sometimes look and I see you in the corner

Staring back at me

Such a lovely smile

You were my best friend…

That is you, right?

I hear your voice

The world changes around me

It makes no sense…

No more people in white

Just her.

Hey Ashley…

She says gleefully

That is my name

Scarlet was yours

You seem you…

I’m confused

It still makes no sense

You are clearly here now

What am I supposed to think?

That smile is lovely…

It crosses my mind again

You give that smile always…

Just before you jump

There you go again,

Smiling, all the way down…

SPLAT!

I’m back in the room

The people in white…

They’re dead

There is blood everywhere!

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!

It doesn’t make sen-

I’m back in that old attic

You are all in black

Such a lovely smile

NO…NOT AGAIN!

………

I hear the crunch

Grip my head

Screaming, but nothing comes out…

The room again…

They’re all dead

I’m covered in blood

Someone’s eye is in my hand…

I snap back too

The attic, but your smile is no longer lovely…

It doesn’t make any sense…

Your face, you are fearful…

As you fall…

Why?!

I just wanted to tell you I loved you!

I just wanted you to care…

You look scared…

It is all too late I realize

Memories are tricky

The smiling one…

That was you indeed…

Up until I shoved you out the window

For rejecting me…

I always thought you had such a lovely smile…

Which is why, I had to throw you out the window

Making sure you never smiled again

You rejected my love

So, no one will ever love you again…

I wake up…

They’re all dead…

SHE FUCKING SMILED!

Haha…

YOU DIDN’T BELIEVE ME!

SHE SMILED…

But,

Now I am smiling…

You’re all dead…

Couldn’t have you see what I saw

That lovely smile

It is all mine!

No one will ever see that lovely smile…

Not again…

-Such A Lovely Smile-

Entry 185: Insanity

I awake

Look in the mirror

See my face

Sickened

I let go

Taking the razor

Letting the blood flow

That’s the way the dream went

Every night a different one

This one special

You’ll understand why soon

This is how it happens

Each and every night…

I awake

I grow sadder

It isn’t like me

I used to be a happy soul

I moved into this beautiful mansion

It slowly began tearing me apart

You see

That’s when I started having the dreams

Unsure of what was happening

Assuming it nothing but a nightmare

It would pass

I thought nothing of it

Until it persisted

The dream changed, over time

In the beginning I saw another woman

Strikingly beautiful

Living alone

She threw herself out the window

It felt so real

I heard her scream

Felt the sorrow

It was as though I could feel

Insanity creeping into me

Time passed

The dreams changed

A man stood with a hammer and a cat

He smashed the cat’s brains

Smiling

The man always in black and white

Wearing dress slacks

A mustache

Quite the classy atire

Always looking deranged

He follows me in these dreams

I’ve likened to calling him insanity itself

He is the maddening persona of it for me

Another night, another dream

Slowly, I felt sadness washing over me

What happened?

How could this be?

Why did that little girl throw herself

Into what she called the burning place?

Who does that?

Why at such a young age?

I awoke disturbed…

I saw insanity, I swear I did!

He was in the corner

Smiling at me

Holding a clock

I thought I heard him whisper

Tic toc

I walked the halls of the mansion

I could hear whispers stalking me

What was this?

Time passed,

I was beginning to have trouble sleeping

Why sleep, when all I would see were nightmares?

I wasn’t sure…but eventually sleep overtook

There was an old man

Blind

Sad heart

He’d lost his wife

Rambling he was…

To her dead body

He asked why she would try to kill him?

Why did she feel such pain?

Speaking things of how he wished she were still here

He had sat in this place 3 days

Just holding her rotting body

Then he appeared

Smiling…

He handed the old man a gun

The man didn’t seem to see him

To him…

The gun had always been there

He put the gun to his mouth

BANG!

That was that

I woke again

Scared…

TERRIFIED would be more appropriate

I heard a low giggling

It grew

A dark laughter

I saw them,

Their deaths replay before me all at once

Was I still dreaming?

I was no longer sure

I dedicated the day to figuring out the history of the place

There was no real focus though…

Some part of me knew it was playing before me

Waking or in sleep

Insanity was always lurking

I passed out

Another nightmare for sure!

Was it a dream within a dream?

Or was I still awake the first time?

I could no longer tell…

I saw myself

Staring into the mirror

My reflection

Crying

I didn’t feel I was though

There he was in the back

Smiling behind me

I turned around

Insanity wasn’t there

Looking back

He had gotten closer to my reflection than ever before

Nodding his head, very slowly

Wide grin…

Perfectly white teeth

He was laughing…

Not with voice

Inside my head

Insanity had gripped me

I woke up

I was standing before the same mirror

Blood was everywhere!

I fell to the floor

My reflection was laughing

It was him

It was always him

He’d taken another victim

Likely have another soon

Keeping us here

I awoke, or I thought I had

Realizing it was happening all over again

He was there…

Smiling…

Laughing at me…

Stuck in this place

Insanity always there…

Reliving our deaths

Victims…

…Eternally…

-Insanity-

Entry 184: The Very Dark Pit

I’ve done a very bad thing

Digging a hole for all of them

The hole is a very dark place

It reflects my soul

You see, I kill them

I kill the voices that speak

I kill them by killing you

In the end you are just a body

For a bag

Instead though I put you very far away

A place where I hope you’ll stay

May you never speak to me after death

May you forever stay deep down

In the pit

It’s a very dark pit

A place to keep the dead quiet

A quiet place

For your eternal sleep!

I shouldn’t hear your whispers in my ears

No not anymore

Just to be sure

I fill the hole, hide it well until it’s complete

Then I set all of it on fire

Burn all your bodies!

Sometimes, if you are near the top

I’ll save myself some time

Burn you alive

Dump you in the pit

Laugh as I watch all of you burning!

You say how do you survive the stench?

My sense of smell died years ago

I burned it away

Just to see how it felt!

Call me mad!

Say I need help!

No matter,

You give me all the help I need dear victim

Silencing your voice

Eternally

So next time you happen to think you are safe

Just remember

There is a very dark pit

It is kind of like my soul

I love to fill the pit

With the bodies of my victims!

Forever silent…

A problem for no one

I hope to put you there

…SOON!…

-The Very Dark Pit-