Entry 345: Shades Of Pain

Shades of pain,

I have them upon that road

I see that truck

As it kills me…

Night after night

The monstrosity

Runs me over

Again & AGAIN!!!!

I wish I could describe in words

What I feel each night

As my torment continues

…Endlessly…

Unfortunately,

Words can not convey

What I feel as it kills me…

Some nights,

It goes the extra step…

Its driver chaining to me the back

DRAGGING ME!!!!

THE PAIN AS I BOUNCE OFF THE ROAD!

My skin…

Separating from my body…

Shades of pain,

They vary in degree,

It’s the best way I can describe my eternity.

Shades of pain,

Are what I feel

As sometimes he has his way

With my body.

I ask myself,

What I did to deserve this?

Why am I to suffer

Eternally?

Then I hear his cold dark voice

The sick laughter,

As he prepares to wreak his malice

Once again…

Upon me.

The other night,

My knees shattered one at a time,

The shadowy figure

Slamming the hammer down on me!

Shades of pain,

As he drug my body

To the back of a rock,

Hooking me up to it & his truck,

Before slowly pulling apart

My body…

Shades of pain

As he took the chainsaw to my neck

Before picking up my head

FUCKING MY FACE!!!!

It matters not that I am dead.

Shades of pain

As I feel every death

Each suffering after it…

One time,

He rolled over my body slowly

Stopping his truck upon me.

Waiting as the weight crushed me

Laughing,

As I screamed helplessly…

Shades of pain,

That’s the only description I have

As I awake tonight

Hearing his truck

…Coming for me…

-Shades Of Pain-

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Entry 344: Her Great Big Teeth

Every night I have a dream

In it I’m haunted constantly!

The face of an old hag

Gnashes & gnaws

While I go mad!

I run & run

Yet, she’s always there

The face of an old woman

Trying to eat me!

I see the warts upon her face

The crazed look as she gazes upon me!

I feel the stench of her hot breath

The drool as her tongue hovers over me!

The woman has such great teeth!

Every night she draws closer to eating me!

I tried to run

Again & again…

Yet, no matter how fast I move

She continues after me!

I fear I’ve been running for many years

As time has gone on

I’ve grown more exhausted

Not just from the lack of rest

But,

Upon waking,

I am out of breath!

Run, run, run

I continue each night

Last night,

I felt her bite me!

I awoke bleeding

A chunk of skin missing from my arm…

I’ve done everything in my power

Not to sleep,

Since then.

Still,

All the caffeine

All the pain,

None of it will keep me awake,

Eternally…

So it is…

I feel myself drifting off…

My last sleep

Before

…She consumes me…

-Her Great Big Teeth-

Entry 343: It’s All About The Drugs My Friend

It’s all about the drugs my man

It’s all about the slam

It gets you going!

Putting you on that high

At least for a time

It’s euphoric as FUCK the first time

Each subsequent time after that

Becoming more & more

Disturbing…

It’s a trip when you see them at first

A game in your head

Because you’re in another universe!

High as fuck

Yet,

In good health

This drug doesn’t harm us

It helps our universe!

It’s a time & a place

Something to make sweet love too

Allowing you to transcend your worries

Your pains

It’s all good

Till…you meet them.

Gradually,

You’ll see them even more

Gradually,

You’ll begin to see their forms

Eventually, you’ll see the dead

The loved ones

Lost within your head

It’s an experience

To talk to them again

You’ll cry,

Laugh,

Feel happiness…

…Pure zen…

Then you’ll start to see the truth

You’ll see the way they died

Repeated before you.

Death, is its own pain

Witnessing those moments again & again

Brings me suffering!

You’ll want to stop at this point

However,

Your body will not let you.

You’re dependent now

The sadness becoming next level

As you begin to burn your hands

Cut yourself,

Break a finger here & again

Anything to bring you off that high

The one you have to take now

That zen turned horror

…It’s all about the drugs my friend…

They keep us going in this life

A self prescription

That brings about pain

Wrapped in a box

That claims happiness

…At first…

I saw the walls turn to ceilings

I saw my face melt off

There was a man with massive teeth

Laughing as he cut on me

A dog, that talked

Promising me,

Anything I could ever want

The woman who always bakes that delicious bread

The one with a smell that seems off my friend.

Why am I telling you this now?

I’m telling you it to make sure you aren’t drawn into that place

A place that lies to us each day.

Promising an escape

Slowly driving us insane!

I’m speaking to you right now

No doubt you are receiving this somehow

That’s the great trick though my friend

Have you seen them yet?

Running things from behind the scenes

Promising you a life

A proper reality.

Don’t be fooled my friend

It’s all a lie!

If you are seeing this

Comfortably staring at your screen

Or…

If you are listening to this, maybe?

Know,

You should ponder what you believe to be true.

Your life,

Your family,

Existence

…It isn’t what you believe…

Sometimes you’ll see the little cracks

The things that make no sense…

The alternate histories

As they bleed through your realities

Made into entertainment & speculation

Of conspiracy.

Yes, I’m speaking of things like “The Mandela Effect”

Memories that never happened

Yet, are still fresh…

They are part of the truth to this reality.

You reading this right now…

Break free from the drugs

See the truth behind the lies

…Remember…

-It’s All About The Drugs My Friend-

Entry 342: The Dancing Man

Dancing to your tune

I listen to it day & night

Jamming out…

As your bodies give up on life!

I am the dancing man

My gramophone always plays

The tune you hear

Really depends,

On the last song you wish to hear,

Just before you meet your fate!

So the louder the sound gets,

When there seems to be no music player around…

Know I’m edging ever closer

To collect what’s left

…Once you meet your death…

I’m just dancing along

Listening to your final song

Soon your soul

I’ll come to collect…

So listen close

One day your tune will play

Till then,

I’ll keep dancing away!

Jamming to the sound of my gramophone

Collecting other souls

Until

…Your Death date…

-The Dancing Man-

Entry 341: The Painting

I work with the other Reapers

In a way you could call me one of Death

I preserve the memories of the dead

The moments of their lives

I paint their memorials

I paint their triumphs

Their pains,

I paint their faces into art

Forever collecting who they eventually became

The changes in their lives

Every piece one of a kind.

In some cases I even keep their souls

Forever trapping them in art

It all depends on the orders given

Regardless,

I paint them well…

My latest creation

Something about it doesn’t feel quite right

The orders I was given

…Well…

They make me uneasy

To say the least…

The Painting I create now

Houses the many faces of a soul

One that relished in the murder they wrought upon their world…

The eyes are dark

Their face twisted in glee

Their soul is trapped within the painting

Sometimes though…

…I can hear him whispering to me…

I’ve sent my complaints to HR

They’ve told me there is nothing they can do

I must continue to paint this portrait

Till it’s ready for departure

Lest I be consumed

At least that’s what the latest notice says

Something isn’t right…

So here I sit,

Painting his face between other works of my art

Lately though,

I’ve noticed

I can see the souls image

Slowly bleeding into my other works

I can hear the souls within screaming

…Endlessly…

Every time I come back to paint

Be the painting old or new

The paintings grow a little more twisted

More nightmarish than before

They speak to me too…

HR told me to paint faster

I needed to paint more than before

If I didn’t

I’d be consumed…

I’ve painted worlds

I’ve added whole new pieces

Yet the painting that houses the demented soul

Its influence is growing

Every moment I work

I hear their screams & cries!

Still, I must keep going…

I hear his twisted laughter

He tells me how they died…

I’ve tried to keep the other paintings safe

I’ve tried to keep up

I’ve given it my all!

His voice continues to whisper to me

Telling me who will soon be up!

He knows who’s next

He knows how they all die

I’ve begun painting with my blood

He says…

“It will really bring them to LIFE!”

I hear him now

Even when I’m not in the room…

The man of many faces

He speaks of the end,

Of things to come

He speaks of suffering

Of eternal doom

 

I feel his touch upon me

Before I know it

…I’m no longer in the room…

It’s become another piece

A painting all its own

Signed in my blood

I paint his works

…From now on…

-The Painting-

Entry 340: Immortal

Happy Birthday dear soul

We hope you are happy

We know it’s a lot to follow

Year after year,

We wish you this

Slowly there are less of us

Such is the burden you hold

Stick with me though

I promise we’ll remember the dead

We’ll smile to their memories

Enjoying each year we knew them…

Happy Birthday dear soul…

It’s that time of year again

We hope you find bliss

We hope you have found happiness

A year gone

It seemed like yesterday

We were just doing this

Shame Sam couldn’t be around

…She always enjoyed this…

Happy Birthday dear soul

We bring you tidings and cheer!

Let’s drink to the night

As well as the memories

Of Bob & Nick

Two great friends

No longer of the living…

Happy Birthday dear soul

I know Kathy, Tim & Jake have passed

Let’s celebrate in their stead

Knowing

…They watch over us…

Happy…Birthday…

…Dear soul…

I have sad news to give

Pamela died in a car wreck last night

I know you are sad it has happened…

Happy Birthday dear soul,

20 years have come & gone so fast

Let’s once again drink to the memories

Of those who watch from above us

…For…

They are the reason we live…

Happy Birthday dear soul…

It’s just the two of us for now,

No worries though,

Now that we are in our new place

We will make new friends

Soon we’ll invite them to know us

We’ll get you a new wife

You’ll have a new family

The world will be none the wiser…

Then slowly,

Year after year

We will steal their souls

Helping in the tragedies that must happen

To keep us…

-Immortal-

Entry 339: I Smiled

I smiled the day she appeared

A wonderful new friend

I smiled at the things she said

How she was always there

I smiled when people laughed

Saying I had an imaginary friend

I smiled each night we went to their houses

Ripping them to bits!

I smiled with delight as they screamed

As they cried…

The way in which they no longer laughed,

As something unseen

Eviscerated them!

I smiled as we buried the bones

I smiled when we’d eat the flesh

I smiled as I recorded each & every death…

One by one they died

One by one their families cried

Eventually,

I grew tired of my own

So I smiled as I ate my little sister

As my parents watched in pain

I smiled as I stabbed Mother

While Father cried in a corner

…Helpless…

I smiled as she killed Father

His screams a symphony of pain

I smiled when the police arrived

Twice as much when the lights went out

The sound of panicked gunfire

Echoing in the halls

I smiled as we killed them all…

She the only family I’d ever need

I smiled as we walked away

Leaving behind a house full of bodies…

…That was a good day…

-I Smiled-