Entry 312: A Most Unusual Horror Musical

Matt:

Oh Jenny

SWEET JENNY!!!!!

I wish you could be mine…

Alas, Ashley will likely make homecoming queen

However,

The popular girl

Is not my hearts desire…

You see, I’ve been watching you

For many days

I totally just realized how creepy that is…

The Homecoming King, I’ll no doubt be in time

If only I could receive

The gift for which my heart

PINES!!!!!

I tell you

I’LL MAKE YOU MINE!!!!!!

But,

Not in the creepy stalker, murder happy WAY!!!!!

_______________________________________________

 

Jenny:

My heart fills with desire

Every single time I see their smiles

The way they look when we finally meet

That beautiful look…

JUST BEFORE I START KILLING THEM!!!!!

I love the way their hearts

Fall apart

The way they beat for a second

Just after I rip them from their chests!

At school they hated me

Or payed me no mind

Little do they realize

When not at college

I lead a much different life!

Hell, sometimes after killing them

I even collect their eyes

*Wink*

_______________________________________________

Ashley:

I see the way that slut draws his eye

If she thinks she’s gonna have him

She’s gonna die!

Mark my words

Tonight,

I’ll secure the votes

I’ll be Homecoming Queen

I’ll seduce Matt

He’ll fall so hard

There won’t be any room in his heart

FOR THAT WHORE JENNY!!!!

_______________________________________________

Random Guy:

Why is it I hear these people’s thoughts?

Does no one notice them singing, dancing & acting their desires OUT?!

Am I stuck in some weird musical place?

Come to think of it,

I just woke up here the other day!

_______________________________________________

Later that night…

Matt:

This is my chance

The night has been great

I’ll make Jenny the perfect date!

I’ve got the guys together

I’ve used my obvious charisma on some of the ladies too

Jenny tonight I’ll be…

STANDING NEXT TO YOU!!!!!!!

_______________________________________________

Homecoming Announcer:

TONIGHT LADIES & GENTLEMAN

WE’D LIKE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!

IT IS TIME TO ANNOUNCE THE HOMECOMING KING & QUEEN!!!!!!

_______________________________________________

Random Guy:

Wait a sec…do colleges even do this sort of thing?

*Crowd all turns and SHHHhh’s Random Guy*

_______________________________________________

Homecoming Announcer:

Now that we’ve put that random guy in his place

It should be noted we don’t need anymore interruptions

FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!!!!!

LADIES & GENTLEMAN YOUR HOMECOMING KING

IS AS EXPECTED!!!!!!

MATTHEW BLAKE!!!!!!!!!

*Crowd Cheers*

NOW A DRUMROLL PLEASE!!!!!!

YOUR HOMECOMING QUEEN IS

ASHLEY MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!

*MATT GASPS*

_______________________________________________

MATT:

HOW CAN THIS BE?!!!!!!

WHY WAS IT ASHLEY?!!!!!!!

Do I not have the pull I believe?!

WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE ASHLEY?!!!!!!!

Sure she’s hot…

…She’s the thing most other women are not!

Every guy sees her as his hearts desire

I just hoped the writer of this script didn’t turn me into

A STEREOTYPICAL POPULAR KID!!!!!

NOW I KNOW THEY DID!!!!!

_______________________________________________

BANG!!!

Crowd:

OH MY GOD!!!!

ASHLEY IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

_______________________________________________

Narrator:

ASHLEY IS DEAD!

It’s true!

However…

Who killed her?

That is a mystery we will solve soon!

First though,

I must say…

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.- The killer isn’t the obvious!

Have a nice day!

-A Most Unusual Horror Musical-

 

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Entry 299: Zack & Jack #2: 2nd Grade

Jack & I have been doing well

2nd grade can sometimes be hell

Last week I had to eat mystery meat for lunch

Jack assured me he’d added something nice to it!

It was funny

Because the lunch lady we had was new

I pondered where the regular one went

However,

Jack said…

She’s enjoying an early retirement

I shouldn’t worry about such things.

In class today,

They were trying to teach us simple math.

I was asked to tell my teacher what 1-1 would become…

I told her 0 was the answer she was looking for

At which point Jack thought it’d be fun to give his own version.

The kids all pointed and stared

All freaked out

Save for Tara.

She knew about Jack

So she wasn’t surprised

When the chalk on the board

Wrote a nice rhyme.

Mrs. Tinsley worked at school

She lived alone

In quiet solitude.

If there’s one of her now…

How many coffins will they need

When after death

She is inevitably found?

Naturally, upon seeing this

My teacher freaked out!

She grew afraid

Started making wild accusations

Asking who wrote such sick things?!

Eventually she lost her mind

A month later

Her body was found.

Strange coincidence right?

Now the whole neighborhood has a curfew.

On the bright side though,

We were let out of school for a few days

Which gave me plenty of time

To hang out with Tara.

-Zack & Jack #2: 2nd Grade-

Entry 297: My Name’s Tim

Hi there,

My name is Tim

And

Yes…

That sad sack running for his life…

The one with the chainsaw maniac chasing him…

That’s me.

SPOILER ALERT

It ends badly for me!

*Laughs*

You might be saying

Tim, that had to hurt!

Especially the part where he ripped through your innards!

I’m here to tell you

It quite did

But,

Boy am I ever glad he did it!

WHAT?! ARE YOU BLEEDING MAD?!

You might say?

I am

Getting torn in half by a chainsaw

Will do that to a man…

Still,

Here I stand now

A ghost

Haunting these grounds

I gotta say

It’s not so bad

That dude in the mask that murdered me

Once came back

I said, Hi, my names Tim

You might remember when you murdered me

Way back when?

Long story short,

He got scared & ran

Tripping and landing on the machete he had in his hand

(Good for him for putting some variety in his kills)

Now though,

We’re best friends!

Spirits to the end!

Sometimes we hit the pub

Yes, you can drink in the afterlife

…In case you were wondering…

*Wink*

The drinks here are stronger

Than anything the living can make…

Do I feel bad that I’m dead?

Have you not been paying attention?

CLEARLY I LOVE IT!

Anyhow…

The souls I feel bad for are the ones who died

In the worst of times

Souls like Patty

She’s quite sweet

However, she had the worst death I’ve ever seen!

Patty died in her sleep

Peacefully.

Like, right?!

Isn’t that the worst?!

How boring is that?!

You can’t go to the local ghostly bar, tavern or pub

Have a pint & when asked how you die

Be like…

*Mocking voice*

I died peacefully in my sleep

I’ll have you know

It’s not a bad way to go!

PSHH!!!!

Nah, you gotta go in & be like

I was chainsawed in half!

A great story by the way

Earns me drinks

Every visit!

Oh look at that,

We must go

Now that we know one another though

Perhaps we can talk again

I’ve got plenty of stories to tell you

My new found friends

If ever you are at Sins Bar

Feel free to find me.

-My Name’s Tim-

Entry 149: Lenny

Mopping up the streets

Always on my damn feet!

I heard I got a promotion

Didn’t know that meant

I’d be running all over tarnation

Cleaning up the damned mess

Left behind after that insane

Clocktower business!

For a town that’s rebuilding itself, literally

You’d think it would have streets that ate bodies

Or at the very least drank the blood or something?

The worst part is no overtime!

I’ve been working well over 40 hours

However, the last guy who complained

Well…HR moved him to an asylum…

Night shift…

Supposed to be abandoned

However, the only thing abandoned was his body…

When they found him he had no organs

Just an empty, bleeding husk

Think anyone is going to complain now

Not old Lenny!

-Lenny-

Entry 113: Behind The Scythe #2: Ren

Here I sit playing this game

I had hoped the old man playing me

Would have thought it too cliche

To challenge a Reaper to a game of Chess

Seriously, look at this guy

He has no wife, no kids

Nothing left to go back to

They are all here with me

They all died in a landslide

This prick wanted his family to move on!

He pulls me aside and says

Wait, I want to ask you something if that is okay?

Go on my family I will catch up

I am slightly amused that he thinks they are going anywhere

If they tried they’d just be lost

They wouldn’t know where to go and only bad comes of that

Looking at the old croon who waved me over I come up to him and he whispers

Take my family where they need to go, I challenge you for my soul…

…I want a chance at life again…

Don’t tell that crazy old bat though!

That’s my wife if you didn’t know…

I feel a headache coming on old man!

How are you even privy to this information?

I’m not…figured it couldn’t hurt to try!

*Sigh*

According to Article 132b Subsection 6

A Reaper is not required to tell a soul about the Game rule

However…if challenged said Reaper must comply

Basically you old bag of wind

YOU CHALLENGED ME SO I HAVE TO PLAY A GAME OF YOUR CHOOSING!

It doesn’t say I have to be nice about it though….

A smile in his eyes he says

I choose Chess!

Well fine, I’ll be back

Out of the blue I heard another annoying voice say

NO WORRIES REN! I’LL TAKE HIS FAMILY, YOU JUST WIN THE GAME!

Whatever Rae, JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE!

OKAY! BYE! *Whispers* Don’t mind him, he’s having a bad day

I’m the guy you want to have take you to the next place anyways…

I CAN HEAR YOU RAE! JUST FUCK OFF…okay?

Soon after he disappears

As he does a table appears

In its center lay a single Chess board

Soon after comes two chairs

Also an all too excited Gina appears…

LISTEN UP! A GAME OF SOULS IS ABOUT TO COMMENCE!!!!!

ARE YOU READY LESTER THE OLD JESTER?!

The man smiles and nods…he seems too entertained

REN! ARE WE READY TO BEGIN?!

JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!

LET THE GAME OF SOULS…BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t bother to tell her she enjoyed her job way too much

For the next seemingly eternity we waited for this old man to make a move…

Then he made the most obvious one!

What took you so long to move your pawn?

It’s a game of souls…I have a lot riding on this…

The look in his eyes was dead serious

Confused I made my move

So, what is it you need to go back for?

Old Lester gave me a smile and said…

I’m keeping that close to the vest young man

What’s it like doing what you do?

Intrigued by his next move I said

I’m in the business of souls, what do you think it’s like?

What aren’t you telling me old man?

We played our game of Chess

As we did our game of conversation continued…

I’d say there is a fair bit to be intrigued about playing this game of Chess

Not everyday you play a game of Chess against Death…

Fair enough, it’s an eternal fate of escorting souls to where they need to go

Happy?

Is it like an office? Do you have a boss?

Yes, your point?

Curious is all…

Back and forth the game continued

I couldn’t help but feel something wasn’t right

Enough with the stall old man, you are going to lose

I invoke a timed duel…

Gina smiled with delight and said

Timed Duel approved! Participants have 10 seconds to make a move

If you don’t make a move in this time, YOU LOSE!

I wanted to smile but the old man just sped up his game

He was quite good at this…

You been playing Chess your whole life?

Ever since I was 2, and I’m 98 now so…

I get it, you’ve been at it a while

To answer your question from earlier I have many a boss

I may look young but I’ve been in the field for 900 years today…

I’m up for a promotion…it would be a nice change from my everyday

Interesting…well good luck to you. I’m going back though so…

You seem quite confident old man, especially since you are losing

A smile crossed his face like he knew what was going to happen next…

He made a curious move then suddenly Sara ran by…

I forgot about the timed duel…

It all happened so fast

I was distracted by Sara’s pace, and what I felt from her…

Something was very wrong…

I felt dread, saw a kid, then…

The vision ended with…

LESTER WINS! REN IS DISQUALIFIED FOR MAKING NO MOVE!

FUCK! Congrats you old coot…do you mind my asking…

What is it you are headed back for?

With a grand smile he said…

I want to drink all the booze I can and live in peace until I die again!

WHAT?!

*Sigh*

Fair is fair, go back, just know you can only invoke the game of souls once

Next time, you are done…

Corporate is going to displeased

So much for that promotion…

-Behind The Scythe #2: Ren-

 

 

 

Entry 112: Zack & Jack #1: Recess Fun

I see him some nights

He hides in shadows

For he is shadows

I call him Jack

He claims to be my friend

I believe him

I was at school the other day

I’m in first grade

Recess is my favorite time of day

Mostly because

There is a girl I like

Her name is Tara

She is always so sweet

We play together at recess

Then there is a bully

His name is Max and he is really mean

I told Jack about Max and he promised me he’d help

Tara came up to me wanting to play

Max said I’d best stay away

Tara said Max you don’t own me

Max shoved Tara to the ground

I got angry

It’s a rule, no fighting in school

Jack says it’s not breaking the rules if he does it for me

I watched Max’s shadow change

Shortly after that there was a lot of warm red stuff all over me

I think I saw something covered in red ripped from Max’s chest

There was lot’s of screams and the other kids ran

Tara didn’t though

She said Zack, I like your friend

That was sweet of you to call him to help

I don’t think we will have to worry about Max again

I remember getting a funny feeling when she kissed me on the cheek

The other kids were still running and screaming and the teachers grabbed us

Recess is the best

I went inside and Tara sat next to me smiling when a thought entered my mind

Jack, you don’t think I’ll get cooties do you?

-Zack & Jack #1: Recess Fun-

 

 

Entry 105: Meats! Meats! Carniverous Treats!

MEATS! MEATS! CARNIVEROUS TREATS!

Come one, come all and taste my sweet delicacies!

I’m back in Black Winter once again

Ready to give you the best meat you can eat!

I assure you I can not be beat!

I HAVE THE TASTIEST MEATS YOU COULD EVER HAVE!

Also, you could not say no to my GLORIOUS MOUSTACHE!!!!!!!!

Voted best mustache every year since 1992

I come before you now as I do every year

To celebrate Fall and Winter here in the darkest town of all!

My favorite place to sell, come citizens of Black Winter

See what I have to sell

I assure you there is a meat for all…unless you are the scariest beast of all!

A NON MEAT EATER!

How can you live with yourselves?!

Oh Timmy, one of my favorite customers

Let me see, I have something special for you

Ah, here we are…the meat you sent me

It is complete to your requirements

Also it’s half off this time kid because

HA!! THAT’S YOUR DEAD OLDER SISTER YOU’RE EATING!

*munch,munch*

MMMMmmm….YUMMY!!!!!!!!

Glad you’re enjoying that you demented soul

What’s that you say, you are giving me your living, breathing…babysitter

In trade?

That’s way more than I asked for…

GUESS WHAT EVERYONE?!

*Muffled screams and struggling*

LOOKS LIKE I’M GIVING FREE SAMPLES AND A LIVE DEMONSTRATION!

BABYSITTERS ON THE MENU COURTESY OF THE CANNIBAL KID!

*Crowd clamors and cheers! They all begin to sling along*

MEATS! MEATS! CARNIVEROUS TREATS!

MEAT KEEPER GIVE ME SOMETHING DELICIOUS TO EAT!

First my friends you gut her and watch the blood spread

Make sure not to lose too much and to have a bucket ready

It can be used for drinking and seasoning

Whatever you are feeling that day

Also if you have excess meat as is the case with this pretty dead face!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Thank you, I’m here till Spring,

Anyways notice how she has plenty of extra meat in her ass and breasts

Provided everything is real like in this case, cut and store for later if you need too

A deep freeze will usually do until you’ve made room in your stomach for more

Truly it’s a beautiful art, you can even use the heart!

Hell if you want, you can keep some meat on the ribs

Or you can use the ribs as a trophy if your into that sort of thing

I don’t judge if you know what I mean

*Wink*

FREE SAMPLES FOR EVERYBODY!

DO YOU PREFER YOUR MEAT RAW OR COOKED?!

I HAVE BABYSITTER MEAT FOR EVERYBODY!

Do you prefer a meat sandwich with tons of meat

Or simply strips of flesh

Perhaps you prefer your meat a little more fresh?

*Pulls back curtain to reveal living humans bound and gagged*

As you can see, I have plenty to eat that still live if that’s what you need.

Don’t mind their muffled screams, I’ve got something else as well

Would you prefer severed heads?

I hear if you use the eye juices, it goes perfect on deviled eggs!

Maybe you hate men and want to promote your feminist agenda?

Well I can sell you fresh cock!

I could you sell you the whole man if you prefer to chop it off while he lives

Maybe as a demonstration perhaps?

That’d really wow your convention!

Regardless, even if you just like the taste of this type of meat

I have a special seasoning that even after severed will keep it fresh and juicy!

I never judge and I’ll even give it at a special deal of 2 for 1!

“I’ll PAY FOR 30!”

Yes ma’am! I’ll even let you have the whole body for that price!

Would anyone like a heart or two?

There is plenty of that to go around too!

I have legs, I have tongues, I have any type of meat you could ever want!

For the right price you’ll see

I have just what you need!

It’s all at my booth

Just ask for Mortimer of MEATS! MEATS! CARNIVEROUS TREATS!

Get this meat while you can

I’m only here till Spring Black Winter!

*Line forms and people continue to sing

-MEATS! MEATS! CARNIVEROUS TREATS!-