Entry 180: Guilty?

Drip…drip

Do you hear that sound?

IT’S DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY

MAKE IT STOP!

You see, I found a light

I turned it on

I’m not sure what happened

Knife in hand

I don’t remember a FUCKING THING!

Last I remember, I was asleep

Then I’m awake and all I see

Are..all..the…

BODIES!

Some fingers here, a face there

Something inside me loves it

Another part of me hates it

I don’t kill, I’m an innocent soul

YES YOU DO YOU FUCKING GUTTED THEM ALL!

Falling to my knees, gripping my head

I truly wish the voice would stay dead

However I know, wherever I go

I’M ALWAYS THERE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

No, please shut up!

You aren’t me, don’t you understand?!

You are the one responsible for all these bodies

The others too!

I don’t always remember but sometimes I dream

All the horrible things you’ve done using me!

WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING?!

That’s fucking cute, you dumb bitch

It isn’t me, it’s definitely you

You created a persona, letting it take over

So you could avoid responsibility for the sick things

You do…privately turned on when you cut up flesh

Pleasuring yourself as you kill them!

I know all your secrets because I am you

Quit blaming it on voice or demons because…

I PROMISE YOU THIS IS ALL YOU! 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

I’m sick, I’m in need of treatment you see

I’m possessed by a demon

Deep within me!

YOU SPEAK TO ME!

YOU MAKE ME CUT THEM UP!

YOU FUCKING MAKE ME DEFILE THE DEAD ONES!

Sometimes…

LATE at NIGHT!

I HEAR THEIR VOICES TOO!

Charlene, why did you murder me?!

Didn’t you care?!

I was your mother, then you took your knife

Slicing me to pieces late Christmas night!

No…NO….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

YOU STUPID CUNT!

YOU ABUSED ME AS A CHILD!

IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME SOMEONE DID YOU IN!

MONICA…I HAD HER KILL YOU INSTEAD!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You idiotic bitch, I don’t even exist

You’ve named me, blamed me

Tried to say I’ve done everything

It’s becoming fairly obvious, you are responsible

FOR EVERY FUCKING THING!

EVERY SLICE, EVERY CARVE OF THE KNIFE!

More evidence for the courtroom 

EXHIBIT A

THAT YOU ARE A TRUE PSYCHOPATH CHARLENE!

What?!

WHERE THE FUCK AM I?!

There were just bodies but now people live?

Is this a courtroom I’m in?!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Exhibit B if the courtroom would please

Charlene isn’t completely insane

She wants to use me as her scape goat

But please…

She plotted and planned and has calculated

All along…

She’s a disturbed psychopath sure

However…

She shouldn’t be let off with an insanity plea

She’s very much responsible for everything!

Those dreams she claims

Are just memories she tries to repress

Trying to forget what she clearly remembers!

She kills

All too happily!

She is quite aware of what she does

Right now she is pretending to be someone else

Simply to get off easily!

STUPID BITCH!

SORRY CUNT!

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OUT ME?!

DAMN RIGHT!

I REMEMBER EVERY FUCKING THING!

Collecting Timmy’s eyes

Butchering his mother just for fun

Licking the blood from the knife!

OH! IT WAS FUN!

Stupid bitch had it coming!

Here little kid was a tattling twat!

Would’ve outed me to the police

For having a little fun

Murdering his sister in front of him!

I followed him home

I made my way in

I BUTCHERED ALL OF THEM!

When I was through…

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I found a chainsaw out back

Massacarred daddy

SAWING THE REST OF THE FAMILY UP TOO!

I felt the spray of their blood

I tasted it!

I LOVE EVERY SECOND OF WHAT I DID

ALSO THE HUNDREDS OF OTHER MURDERS TOO!

*Hush in courtroom*

No! WAIT! That WAS MONICA!

PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME!

I believe we have all the evidence we need…

GUILTY!

Insanity plea denied…

Lock her away and let her await death!

NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

I DON’T DESERVE DEATH!

IT WAS MONICA!

I AM SICK, I SWEAR!

PLEASE BELIEVE ME!

*Internal laughter*

-Guilty?-

 

 

Entry 179: Teddy

All warm and snuggly

You keep me safe

Forever my friend

No matter what time brings

You are my Teddy!

I feel the stitching

You were made with love

Sometimes if I listen close enough

I swear I hear you whispering

You tell me about all our times together

The tea party

The late night screams

The one time we listened to Aunties suffering

That axe sure did the trick

I guess that is what she gets for trying to separate us

She said she wanted to meet you Teddy

Claimed she wanted to know my friend

Yet when she saw you

She cried instead

Screaming in horror

Wondering why you were stitched up like that

We unfortunately had to…

…End her…

Sorry if you had to hear those screams

Truly wish you didn’t have to see such horrible things

We saved her skin, maybe clothing for the future

Burning the body, elsewhere…

Mother called the other day

Asking if I’d seen Auntie Rae?

She said she was supposed to drop by

Give me a birthday surprise

I told her I had seen no one

Secretly bringing you along as we got rid of the evidence

No one would suspect a thing

You’ve always kept my secrets

They all think I have a condition

I’m mentally challenged they say

Little did they know, I’m a genius

I’ve been faking everything

All my life, you and I spoke

Telling me to do things like choke my best friend

Kill her…slowly, you said

I believe she was our first victim

Stupid bitch, really thought we were close too

That was until the last moments

Gasping for air

She begged me to stop

I told her, Teddy says no

Once I saw the life leave her eyes for good

I gave her a kiss

Cut off her face

Stashed it away

It adorns one of my dolls

A memory of your and my friendship

You’ve always been there for me Teddy

Even when you were just a voice inside my mind

Whispering sickly sweet things

I truly appreciated all your poems

The things you said while I slept at night

The one time Uncle Lou came in drunk

Tried to have his way with me

You didn’t let him, now did you?

No, you told me take the knife

I watched him stumble and fall to the floor

He tried to get up

I have no doubt you tripped him

I performed the surgery that happened next

We make the perfect team my friend

You are the only one I will truly love

That’s why I had to take little brother…

You needed a body you said

…Preferably a dead one…

So I snuck into the house one night

Grabbed little bro

Kept him close to my breast

He was quiet till I got him home

Then we did what needed to be done

We performed the necessary deed

Suffocating him quietly

After which we removed his heart

Then you entered him…

I had to sew you up after all was done

I even added a scar or two

You told me you wanted that…

I know you aren’t just a voice in my head

To me…

…You’ll be the only one I’ll ever love…

-Teddy-

Entry 178: Do You Trust Me?

Do you trust me?

Look closely into my eyes

They are red, right?

Look again, they are a deep blue

Are they not?

Is my hair red?

Is it blue?

Perhaps I’m blonde?

Maybe I have jet black hair?

What do you see?

Do you trust me?

Watch my lips

Listen to the soothing sound

That comes from them

You love the sound

Don’t you?

I wonder what you see?

Do you see me for me?

Are you watching my breasts?

What interests you about my chest?

Perhaps you are looking at my legs?

What am I wearing?

Am I modest?

Do I wear something less so?

Am I a turn on?

What would you do if I let you?

Would you ravish me?

Perhaps we would make love slowly?

What do you see now?

Perhaps I’m naked…

Perfect body, free for you

I want you to do whatever it is you wish

Have your way with me

Ride me…

Break me…

Force me to my knees

Give me a reason to feel your suffering!

Not enough?

Hit me!

I want to feel your hate…

Don’t be afraid

It’s okay

Choke me

Smack me around

The blood from my lips is nice

However…

That’s not enough

I want you to tie me up

I want you to play out your darkest fantasies!

Go ahead…

Now that I am helpless

Do what is going through your head

Fuck me however you want!

Take that knife, maybe the scissors

Do what you want!

I’m smiling…

The pain is nice

I feel you getting harder with every slice

Listen to my voice

You hear laughter as you stab

It’s comforting…isn’t it?

Cut my body to pieces when you are done

I want you to saw me to pieces

Have fun!

Look closer, what do you see?

Do you see the body of the girl you killed this time?

It’s okay…

Look again…

Nothing to fear

Do you see the rose petals in the bed?

The lovely pillow arrangement you made?

It’s beautiful isn’t it?

The sound at the door you hear…

It’s your guest

She’s been waiting to meet you

Greet her, take those red scissors too

Show her what you wish to do to her

*Man walks to door*

FREEZE! ON THE GROUND NOW!

*GUNFIRE*

Officer…

-Do You Trust Me?-

Entry 177: That Special Time Of Year

So exciting!

This time of year

Do you feel

That holiday cheer?!

I know I do

I’ve wrapped my present wonderfully

Off to visit my family

I arrive

Everyone smiling

The family is so delightful

Oh the things they’ve done

I’ll reward them accordingly

First though

It is time to eat

My family asking

How are you, Emily?

Where is Jack?

I assure them

He was a bit tired

He’d make an appearance soon

Trust me, I smiled

So there we were

Exchanging cheer

Talking of our lives

Smiling from ear to ear!

Mother, please open your gift

I wish to see, if you’re happy with it?

Oh dear daughter

Christmas is less than a week away

I’ll wait till then…

If that is okay?

Mother, I say with a smile

It is okay

No need to be modest today

Go ahead, open it please

Don’t feel bad…

I have a gift for everybody!

They’ll open theirs soon

I just want to start the holiday right

Dearest Mother,

You had me at birth

The least I can do is have you open

Your gift first!

The rest of the family looked at her smiling

Go ahead, they said

Cheering her on

I stood there smiling!

My Mother opened her gift

So slowly she unwrapped it

The moment her eyes saw what was within

I took a snapshot of her face

For memories sake!

She was pale

Looked a bit under the weather

So I spoke in her stead

Dearest Mother

Are you not pleased

I gave the gift to you

That kept giving

I imagine you quite enjoyed it

So I kept it fresh

Sawing it off for you

We all know, how many times

You enjoyed Jacks dick

Inside you!

So I thought it a treat,

I’d saw off his dick, before killing him

Keep it safe, nice and as alive as could be

Then I’d deliver it to you

Make you happy!

As for the meat we are all eating so happily

The special meat I insisted you use for your stew

The one you all can’t stop bragging about…

Well…

That’s Jack too!

There was shock, the family looked afraid

On to Father, I said

I handed him a gift

He took it silently

His face in shock

Probably from fear

I give the best gifts, every year!

Open it I said

He complied

What was inside?

A camcorder, but not just any kind

One with memories

Those he’d like to keep to himself

I pulled a revolver out

Pointed it at his face

Told him to bring everyone to the family room

Then press play

My father did this slowly

He cried, begging me to reconsider

I smiled

Come on Dad, no one likes a quitter!

That’s what you used to tell me

When you’d play with me, late at night

That special game

Just between us

I’d say I didn’t want to

You’d tell me it’s okay

Come on Emily, no one likes a quitter

You’d cheerfully say

Playing the video, all looked on in surprise

My uncle tried to slip away

I shot my Mom in the face

Told my Uncle, to clean the body

Make it go away

Like you did for my Dad

Every time he’d play with me

Go ahead, don’t be shy

I promise you, you’ll get a gift soon too!

Now that I think about it…

Make it 2 you make disappear

Mom and Dad need to be buried together,

This is true!

I shot my dad, right between the eyes

Laughing, before looking at my Uncle too

Come on, you’ve got things to do!

He made haste with disposing of the bodies

I made everyone watch what he did

I even recorded it!

Memories, I said

This will be the last Christmas we all have!

I thought we’d celebrate early

Fill it with holiday cheer!

After the bodies were dropped into the grave

I blew out my Uncles brains

He fell in, I turned to my lovely Aunt

Remember when you’d beat me

The summers I spent at your place?

Those were fond memories…weren’t they?

Open your gift now please, dear Aunt

I haven’t all night, after all

My Aunt trembled

She cried

I assured her, she’d die tonight

So there was no use in crying or tears

It’d be over soon, anyways!

She opened her gift, it was a bat

I asked her to turn toward her daughter

I told her to beat her to death

For being a watcher

Someone who saw, what she did to me

Yet, she didn’t speak the truth

When it was time too!

Gun to her head, I told her do the deed

She simply said

Kill me!

I smiled and said, I’ll spare your daughter

If she beats you death instead…

That is…

Without hesitation her daughter grabbed the bat

I watched as she beat her Mom to death

I laughed!

Isn’t this fun, everyone?!

Christmas holidays should be like this every year!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The deed was done, she pushed her mother in

I’ve done what you asked…

Will you spare me?!

I smiled, pointed the gun at her face

She started to plead

I shot her anyways

Sorry, I lied…like you used to do…all the time!

My dear family…who is left

Oh yes, just grandmother dearest

Are you going to make this difficult for me?

Or are you going to just let me end your suffering?

You’ve lived long enough after all…

80 years too long if you ask me!

You knew of all the secrets within our family

Nothing got by you…

Why didn’t you do anything?

You are very rude!

I know how you used to use my Mom…

Pimping her off, at the highest of costs!

No worries, I’ve got something special for you…

Go ahead…time to open your gift too!

FUCK YOU! I’LL DO NO SUCH THING!

GRANNY DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE!

I was hoping that is what you would say…

I brought this knife for that sort of thing.

I delight in the screams you’ll make

No doubt the police, will come running!

I’m going to carve you up, during that time!

When they arrive…I’ll end everything!

So that’s just what I did

I tied her up and cut away at her face

I loved it when her blood

Sprayed all over me!

This went on for 20 minutes at best…

Sadly, the neighbors called someone.

Nosy pricks…

Shame I won’t have time to deal with them!

The police arrived just in time to watch me carve off Granny’s head!

They told me to freeze…

I shot myself in the head instead!

-That Special Time Of Year-

 

Entry 176: To The Future Deceased

Tip toeing late at night

I pray for life

Crying deep inside

Hoping to leave alright

I’m trapped within this place

She follows my every move

Her name is Lyla…

I hear her groan

She lives in this place

Forever alone

Feeding on the souls

Who wander to close

Waiting for them to wander in

Only to trap them there…

Till death

I’ve been trapped within for I don’t know how long

I thought I’d found

The one I am searching for

She was running towards the entrance

I opened it up

Only to find another room

One not there before

The one I’m searching for…

…Still missing…

Now I spend every night

In this place

Searching for the one I lost

While also looking for an escape

I can hear her stalking me

I hear her whispers in my dreams

Every time I think I’m safe

I hear her giggling

That white gown

Her long red hair

The blood running from her finger nails

Last time I saw her

The blood was fresh

I ran for my life

Praying to find the one I seek

Also, for that exit for which I’m desperately searching

She stopped stalking

I heard a maddening scream

She claimed a different victim

Lyla began toying with me

I heard her outside the door

Slowly running a fingernail down the edge

I could feel her smiling

She could have killed me…

Instead she knocked on the door

Again…

And…

Again…

If she wanted, she could come in

I saw the door open a bit

The head of her latest victim rolled in!

It stopped at my feet

Mouth open, eyes and tongue missing

Mm….what a treat 

I heard her giggling to me

The door shut

I cried myself to sleep that night

All the while

Screaming kept resonating

From the walls

From the halls

Then silence…

Lyla’s depraved laugh

My continued suffering…

I’d heard the legends of this old place

I specialized in studying these things

Many times a hoax was all I found

This place however…

All too real!

I came here because…

It was the last place my daughter was seen

Coming here on a dare

Last Halloween…

It took months but this was the only lead that turned up

A detective once checked into this place

Disappeared

Tonight, his head, was the one rolled to me…

So here I sit crying

Praying for a miracle to be sure…

My daughter must be dead…

She has to be…

It’s been quiet for a bit

There’s a chill in the air

I went out again…

Searching

Opening the door

A different hall

Never the same…

I will never leave here

So if you read this note

Know it is too late

My daughter and I

Are very much dead

Can you hear her…

…Gi-…

*The rest of the note is too stained in blood to read*

*Giggling*

*Screams*

A woman’s body falls to the floor bleeding out

Lyla tears her apart…

The woman’s final words…

…Daddy…

-To The Future Deceased-

 

Entry 175: I’ll Soon Be Dead

Drawn into a dream

I was from moment one

I saw your face

I knew, you were the one

Still, I went

I continued to pursue

Did not matter, what I knew you would do…

Gone they all are

Missing as can be

No idea where

They could possibly be

Black Winter is full of things that kill

Yet, here I decide

I must know, what fate befell

The missing 9

It didn’t happen all at once

It goes as follows

#1 Amy, 9yrs old

Complained of sleep troubles

Nightmares she said

Always appearing in the same place

Night after night

What she saw

No one knows

All she said

I’ll soon be dead

A month this went on

Then one day…she was gone

No trace, no clue

Nothing anyone could do

#2 Joe, 32yrs old

A trucker by trade

He’d always complain

Sleep an hour

Dream an eternity

Always the same place

I’ll soon be dead

Was found on a note after his disappearance

He disappeared a year after Amy did

Still, no clue…

His 18 wheeler empty

Keys still in place

He vanished without a trace

#3 Carol 43yrs old

A house wife

She had 2 kids and a husband as well

6 months before she vanished

The woman complained

Saying she was in the same place every night

Terrified out of her mind

Her husband wanted to know where and why

She told him

I’ll soon be dead

She disappeared right from her bed

Husband was sleeping with her

Once he awoke

Found Carol gone

No note…

Nothing

This was also a year after Joe’s disappearance

#4 Vanessa 18yrs old

Vanessa was a high school graduate

World in her hands

The future looked bright

For this Valedictorian

It was Summer when the first nightmare came

She was terrified knowing what happened

To the other missing

Crying to her parents

Pleading for help

Screaming obscenities

Her parents got a full security detail

The police as well

Every eye was on her that could be

Yet the night of her disappearance

She stood up

Looked at the camera and said

I’ll soon be dead

The feed went dead

There was no trace of Vanessa after that

No one saw her come in or out of the room

There was nothing

She was simply gone

Another victim 1 year apart

#5 Tim 13yrs old

This disappearance happened a year apart

Although he disappeared well before saying anything

One night he was fast asleep

Next day a message on the wall read

I’ll soon be dead

#6 Jana 73yrs old

Jana complained night after night

Same nightmare, same place

Every time the nursing home pleaded

Answers

As though possessed she would say

I’ll soon be dead…

She never spoke a word after this

Police waited in the same room with her

Wide awake, making sure she wouldn’t vanish…

…Like the rest…

No precaution seemed to help

One night she was there, silent as can be

Then on the one year anniversary of the previous vanishing

A staff member of the nursing home came in

Finding a slew of dead policemen

Blood everywhere

No Jana, anywhere

#7 Veronica 21yrs old

An art student

Things were bright

Till one night she complained

I had a dream in a place I’ve never seen

There was a woman, sobbing

I couldn’t see her face

Still, I knew…

I’ll soon be dead…

Though more information than most had given

She also vanished, without a trace

Another victim of this unknown lady

#8 Thomas 45yrs old

Thomas did nothing

He had no job

Nothing to truly live for

His neighbors said he was a bit of a slob

Heard him wailing one night

Called the police

Said he was screaming

I’ll soon be dead

Over and over again

The police had arrived

It was too late

Thomas was nowhere

Leaving behind only scribbling words

I’ll soon be dead

All over his walls

#9 Samantha 24yrs old

This one was quite personal

In case you didn’t know

Samantha was to be

My future wife

The first night she had the nightmares

She awoke afraid

Asking me to save her in some way

I did all the research I could

Still, I could do nothing

Some nights she was completely herself

Others she was tranced out

Drawing the woman she saw

The place she’d seen her

I’ll soon be dead

She told me one night

I fell to my knees

Telling her this couldn’t be

We had a life to live together

Why you? I said

She simply smiled and the lights dimmed

Soon dying…when they came on again

She was gone…

I cried myself to sleep that night

Having called the police as well

I had no trace, no clue

I’ve looked at all the art

I’ve reviewed all the evidence

Nothing could lead me to where she could be

My future wife…

Simply having vanished before me…

It’s been almost a year

I’ve looked high and low

I’ve tried mediums, witches, every manner of way

Still, I’m not closer to finding my beloved

Or her fate

Then…recently I’ve been having the dreams

I’ve seen the woman that the others spoke of

I never see her face…

I just know…

-I’ll Soon Be Dead-

 

 

 

Entry 174: Too Weak

I sit here

Pondering how it came to this

What did I do to deserve such a fate?

I killed, murdered?

Perhaps, I was a tool used to end the weak?

That’s what I choose to believe!

If you are too weak to survive, you don’t deserve life!

It wasn’t my fault Amalin didn’t lock her door that night!

She was stupid which means weak, so, she was punished for it

Nailed to the bed, skinned alive

All just another night for me

Catherine, was quite the fighter…

Till she her face met my hammer!

I didn’t kill her all at once…I dazed her

Some guy named Tom thought he’d be her hero

He was very wrong!

I ended him when he came into the door

He walked right into my hammer HAHAHAHAHAHA!

What an idiot!

Stupidity doesn’t deserve life

When I finished smashing his skull to pieces

I went over and finished off Catherine

She was practically half out of it after the first beating

Still, I won’t lie, I used my fists a few times

While she still breathed life I beat her until I felt she’d learned

Just how weak she was

You probably think I went and raped her after, right?

I didn’t…I don’t breed with the weak

Catherines main mistake?

She tried to help the poor, the homeless?

She tried to help them by teaching them.

They were just going to go out and do drugs and drink again

What good was she doing wasting her abilities on them?

I’ve done so many things…

I blew up a bus full of the disadvantaged

I don’t give a shit!

WEAK! FUCKING WEAK! EVERY ONE OF THEM!

I can hear the priest reading me my last rites

The eyes of the families of the deceased

Stare at me judgingly…

I’m not sorry and I’m damn sure well not afraid!

This is the world…accept it.

I was too weak to escape the police when they found me

I had killed an entire school of children and was shot in the head…

I lived.

Now I sit, years later, my sentence, death by electric chair

And I smile in the face of the victims families!

I’m offered the chance to say my final words…

I smile.

I relished beating Catherine

Amalin was a real treat to skin!

I still laugh at the screams of the kids in that school!

The bus of the disadvantaged didn’t know what hit them

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tom was a moron

There are so many more!!

Amy ended with homemade surgery

Her screams were beautiful

Matthew, I took a grinder to his face

A bit ironic considering his profession

I love a good laugh too!

Johnathan, thought he was close to getting me

I did something special to that cop

Use your imagination…

I won’t go on…you all bore me

There is no remorse here

I was too weak to get away…

So, today I die just the same

That’s the way the world works

Get used to it

You kill me today…

Another even worse, is out there tomorrow

Continuing the work

Maybe even making art from it?

So good riddance this day

You’ll remember me always

*Electric chair sets off*

*He dies smiling*

-Too Weak-