Entry 185: Insanity

I awake

Look in the mirror

See my face

Sickened

I let go

Taking the razor

Letting the blood flow

That’s the way the dream went

Every night a different one

This one special

You’ll understand why soon

This is how it happens

Each and every night…

I awake

I grow sadder

It isn’t like me

I used to be a happy soul

I moved into this beautiful mansion

It slowly began tearing me apart

You see

That’s when I started having the dreams

Unsure of what was happening

Assuming it nothing but a nightmare

It would pass

I thought nothing of it

Until it persisted

The dream changed, over time

In the beginning I saw another woman

Strikingly beautiful

Living alone

She threw herself out the window

It felt so real

I heard her scream

Felt the sorrow

It was as though I could feel

Insanity creeping into me

Time passed

The dreams changed

A man stood with a hammer and a cat

He smashed the cat’s brains

Smiling

The man always in black and white

Wearing dress slacks

A mustache

Quite the classy atire

Always looking deranged

He follows me in these dreams

I’ve likened to calling him insanity itself

He is the maddening persona of it for me

Another night, another dream

Slowly, I felt sadness washing over me

What happened?

How could this be?

Why did that little girl throw herself

Into what she called the burning place?

Who does that?

Why at such a young age?

I awoke disturbed…

I saw insanity, I swear I did!

He was in the corner

Smiling at me

Holding a clock

I thought I heard him whisper

Tic toc

I walked the halls of the mansion

I could hear whispers stalking me

What was this?

Time passed,

I was beginning to have trouble sleeping

Why sleep, when all I would see were nightmares?

I wasn’t sure…but eventually sleep overtook

There was an old man

Blind

Sad heart

He’d lost his wife

Rambling he was…

To her dead body

He asked why she would try to kill him?

Why did she feel such pain?

Speaking things of how he wished she were still here

He had sat in this place 3 days

Just holding her rotting body

Then he appeared

Smiling…

He handed the old man a gun

The man didn’t seem to see him

To him…

The gun had always been there

He put the gun to his mouth

BANG!

That was that

I woke again

Scared…

TERRIFIED would be more appropriate

I heard a low giggling

It grew

A dark laughter

I saw them,

Their deaths replay before me all at once

Was I still dreaming?

I was no longer sure

I dedicated the day to figuring out the history of the place

There was no real focus though…

Some part of me knew it was playing before me

Waking or in sleep

Insanity was always lurking

I passed out

Another nightmare for sure!

Was it a dream within a dream?

Or was I still awake the first time?

I could no longer tell…

I saw myself

Staring into the mirror

My reflection

Crying

I didn’t feel I was though

There he was in the back

Smiling behind me

I turned around

Insanity wasn’t there

Looking back

He had gotten closer to my reflection than ever before

Nodding his head, very slowly

Wide grin…

Perfectly white teeth

He was laughing…

Not with voice

Inside my head

Insanity had gripped me

I woke up

I was standing before the same mirror

Blood was everywhere!

I fell to the floor

My reflection was laughing

It was him

It was always him

He’d taken another victim

Likely have another soon

Keeping us here

I awoke, or I thought I had

Realizing it was happening all over again

He was there…

Smiling…

Laughing at me…

Stuck in this place

Insanity always there…

Reliving our deaths

Victims…

…Eternally…

-Insanity-

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