Entry 155: The Emotion Room: Subject 1

*Loud Buzzer*

*Woman shoots up*

Are you awake, Subject 1?

Wh-what? My name is Sydney!

Are you awake, Subject 1?

Wh-Where am I?! 

……………………….

Are you awake, Subject 1?

Please answer the question

FUCK YOU! WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE AM I?!

Stress elevation noted

Subject 1 is clearly awake

Today Subject 1 we will begin testing

You are in The Emotion Room

You need do nothing, the testing will begin momentarily…

What?! My…NAME….IS SYDN-AAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Subject 1 has fallen to her knees

Appears to be experiencing migraines or some kind of mental break

Noted…

Mom?! Why are you covered in red Mom?

N-NO! NONONONONONO! WHY?!

Tell me you didn’t do it again MOM?! 

You were supposed to be okay!

The doctors said…

*crying*

They said you WERE FINE! 

WHY WOULD YOU KILL YOURSELF?!

I-i-if we hurry….maybe we can stop the bleeding!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject 1 appears to be fully encompassed in her memories

Notable emotions: Grief & Helplessness.

Yes, 911! Please send someone right NOW!

My-M….MY MOM HAS SLIT HER WRISTS!

I just got back from school and…I DON’T KNOW WHY SHE’D DO THIS?!

I-I’m not sure where Dad is?

Work, I think.

Y-wait, I, I think I hear something.

OMG! WHY?!!!!!!!!!!

My Dad?! He-What’s he doing home?

HE’S DEAD! HIS FUCKING CHEST IS OPEN AND THERE’S BLOOD AN-

YOU FUCKING STAY CALM!

SEND SOMEONE ALREADY!

*Sobbing uncontrollably*

MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY IS DEAD! I WON’T STAY CALM!

I have……NO ONE! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT?!

I-I just can’t do this…NOT ANYMORE! NO! 

I-I’m going to kill myself…

I’ll do it with knife my Mom used to kill my Dad and then herself…

Goodbye…

*Slice*

*Thud*

O-OH MY FUCKING GOD!

I KILLED MYSELF?!

Mom & Dad…WHY?!

WHY WOULD SHE KILL DAD?!

S-

*Has trouble breathing*

She…

She was fine.

Perfectly fine after a year.

I-I don’t understand this

Why would you show me this?

What is this place?

What’s the purpose?!

I feel faint.

*Passes Out*

*Loud Buzzer*

WHAT?! 

Subject 1, you are experiencing the following:

Grief

Confusion

Trauma

PTSD

Helplessness

How do you feel?

How do I feel?

FUCK YOU! THAT’S HOW!

Anger added to list of emotions

Subject 1, why did you choose suicide?

Wouldn’t you?  I had nothing left to live for?

MY ENTIRE FAMILY WAS DEAD!

I went to school that morning and everything was fine…

I don’t understand why

DO YOU KNOW WHY?!

This is about you Subject 1

Why choose death?

It…it was all too much. I couldn’t process it.

I had nothing left to live for.

Noted.

Subject 1 believed they had nothing left to live for

Now playing future that could have been

Subject 1 would have had

A husband in the next 4 years

Inspired and saved 300 lives through speaking about her families tragedy

A baby boy

An eventual Nobel Prize

Lived to be a healthy 120

Deceased peacefully in sleep

Gone to Heaven

Now noting: Fear, Regret, Sorrow, Realization, Terror At Future Eternity

Subject 1, results will be noted.

Emotional Analysis Complete:

Subject 1 felt she had nothing left to live for

Her 17th Birthday started fine

Coming home, she discovers Mom dying

Suicide

Calls 911

Pleads with them

Hears noise

Late spasm from deceased father

Father dead

Hope lost

Suicide by knife

Notable:

Subject 1 had no other living family

Likely would have wound up in foster care

Would have met future husband in system

Subject 1 had no way of knowing future

Suicides typically transfer to lower level facility

Transfer Recommendation:

Hell

-The Emotion Room: Subject 1-

 

 

Entry 122: The Clocktower: Evaluation

I had entered what was supposed to be a terrible place

Yet when I came out on the other side

There stood a woman, all in black

Eyes a deep crimson

She wore a uniform that brought class

I realized soon that she stood behind a table

All black with red velvet

A smile on her face she said:

Welcome soul…to the evaluation

Please take a seat, we will begin shortly…

I saw no other choice so that’s what I did

Sitting there pondering just what was next

A kid, wondering what was this?

The woman smiled once again

I felt she was hiding something

My name is Grace, prepare for question 1

Did you commit suicide?

Yes, what does that have to do with anything?

Why?

I wanted someone to die…

Who?

A man who is called The Heart Collector

He needs to die for his crimes…

What would you do to see this through?

ANYTHING!

There was silence when suddenly the table flipped

Locking back into place there was a cat

Grey fur, it looked so sweet

I wanted to pet it but then appeared a knife

Grace smiled

Kill it.

I was thrown off by this and so I said

Why?

She remained silent and I grew tense

This went on far longer than I liked

Soul, keep in mind, this is an evaluation

NO! Why would I kill an innocent life?

Something wasn’t right

Then things began to light up

I saw a monitor

On it was my Aunt

A gun to her head she pulled the trigger

There she dropped…dead…

WHAT?! I DON’T UNDERSTAND?! WHY?!

Would you say you are sad?

WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!

YES!

You led her to this…remember?

…..

Interesting, you are sad but you were willing to commit suicide

Potentially your wrecked her life?

You make no sense, she never even watched me!

She only cared about her alcohol!

I was a burden!

The kid the dead sister pawned off…

Noted…

The cat jumped off the table and left us be

Suddenly a coin appeared, all black, a skull on it

You will earn a total of 3 of this coin or another

At the end whichever you hold 3 of first…

That will decide future fates

Perform your evaluation carefully

Question 2: Do you believe your parents would approve of your death?

I sat silent for a moment…but I knew the truth

No. They would still wish me to live…but, life is nothing without them

I need to kill this man!

You couldn’t kill a cat a second ago, what makes you think you could kill him?

That’s different.

How so?

The cat was an innocent life.  It simply isn’t the same.

One man kills for justice, another for fun…both are still killers are they not?

I was at a loss, she was right, but I’d accepted this when I committed suicide…

…right?…

Perhaps, reasoning plays a part? Perhaps if done for the right reasons…

…A killer could be absolved of said sin?

Noted.

A white coin appeared, on it was an angel

I pondered maybe life and death, but I knew assumptions were dangerous

Question 3: If Heaven & Hell exist, which are you going to?

I would imagine Hell, but, who can really say?

I’ve accepted the worst if it means I gain vengeance for my family.

Noted.

Another white coin appeared…that was 2 white to 1 black…

I still had no clue what that meant

Question 4: You kill the man you seek…do you feel fulfilled?

Yes, I believe I can accept whatever comes next.

You’re sure?

As sure as I can be while not knowing what’s next…

Noted.

This time no coin appeared

I was confused if this meant anything at all

Still, I listened to what Grace had to say next…

Question 5: Vengeance or a 2nd chance at happiness?

I thought for a moment, wondering what she meant.

The first part was obvious but the second, I was unsure.

If by happiness you mean life…then vengeance

I have no life to go back to and I’ve accepted my fate

A black coin appeared

Final Question: You are God…who dies?

Two monitors appear, one is a man surrounded in darkness

Red hair, he looks scared

The other is the Reaper who collected me

Down on her knees, she looks on edge

A knife to her throat, clearly suffering

I’m not God, so I couldn’t make such a choice

You must.

Failure to choose…well, it results in failure to complete 

…The Vengeance you seek…

There was a sudden intense pain running inside my brain!

Oh yes, 5 minutes to choose, once the reset happens…

The decision is considered made for you…

I looked at each, both on edge

It seemed for different reasons

I was not prepared to take an innocent life

Or at least I hadn’t thought I was

When Grace spoke of the vengeance I seek

Something burned within me

It was a fire I couldn’t end

I felt this driving me to insanity

Unsure of what to do, I went ahead and made my decision…

-The Clocktower: Evaluation-

 

 

Entry 113: Behind The Scythe #2: Ren

Here I sit playing this game

I had hoped the old man playing me

Would have thought it too cliche

To challenge a Reaper to a game of Chess

Seriously, look at this guy

He has no wife, no kids

Nothing left to go back to

They are all here with me

They all died in a landslide

This prick wanted his family to move on!

He pulls me aside and says

Wait, I want to ask you something if that is okay?

Go on my family I will catch up

I am slightly amused that he thinks they are going anywhere

If they tried they’d just be lost

They wouldn’t know where to go and only bad comes of that

Looking at the old croon who waved me over I come up to him and he whispers

Take my family where they need to go, I challenge you for my soul…

…I want a chance at life again…

Don’t tell that crazy old bat though!

That’s my wife if you didn’t know…

I feel a headache coming on old man!

How are you even privy to this information?

I’m not…figured it couldn’t hurt to try!

*Sigh*

According to Article 132b Subsection 6

A Reaper is not required to tell a soul about the Game rule

However…if challenged said Reaper must comply

Basically you old bag of wind

YOU CHALLENGED ME SO I HAVE TO PLAY A GAME OF YOUR CHOOSING!

It doesn’t say I have to be nice about it though….

A smile in his eyes he says

I choose Chess!

Well fine, I’ll be back

Out of the blue I heard another annoying voice say

NO WORRIES REN! I’LL TAKE HIS FAMILY, YOU JUST WIN THE GAME!

Whatever Rae, JUST GET OUT OF MY FACE!

OKAY! BYE! *Whispers* Don’t mind him, he’s having a bad day

I’m the guy you want to have take you to the next place anyways…

I CAN HEAR YOU RAE! JUST FUCK OFF…okay?

Soon after he disappears

As he does a table appears

In its center lay a single Chess board

Soon after comes two chairs

Also an all too excited Gina appears…

LISTEN UP! A GAME OF SOULS IS ABOUT TO COMMENCE!!!!!

ARE YOU READY LESTER THE OLD JESTER?!

The man smiles and nods…he seems too entertained

REN! ARE WE READY TO BEGIN?!

JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!

LET THE GAME OF SOULS…BEGIN!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t bother to tell her she enjoyed her job way too much

For the next seemingly eternity we waited for this old man to make a move…

Then he made the most obvious one!

What took you so long to move your pawn?

It’s a game of souls…I have a lot riding on this…

The look in his eyes was dead serious

Confused I made my move

So, what is it you need to go back for?

Old Lester gave me a smile and said…

I’m keeping that close to the vest young man

What’s it like doing what you do?

Intrigued by his next move I said

I’m in the business of souls, what do you think it’s like?

What aren’t you telling me old man?

We played our game of Chess

As we did our game of conversation continued…

I’d say there is a fair bit to be intrigued about playing this game of Chess

Not everyday you play a game of Chess against Death…

Fair enough, it’s an eternal fate of escorting souls to where they need to go

Happy?

Is it like an office? Do you have a boss?

Yes, your point?

Curious is all…

Back and forth the game continued

I couldn’t help but feel something wasn’t right

Enough with the stall old man, you are going to lose

I invoke a timed duel…

Gina smiled with delight and said

Timed Duel approved! Participants have 10 seconds to make a move

If you don’t make a move in this time, YOU LOSE!

I wanted to smile but the old man just sped up his game

He was quite good at this…

You been playing Chess your whole life?

Ever since I was 2, and I’m 98 now so…

I get it, you’ve been at it a while

To answer your question from earlier I have many a boss

I may look young but I’ve been in the field for 900 years today…

I’m up for a promotion…it would be a nice change from my everyday

Interesting…well good luck to you. I’m going back though so…

You seem quite confident old man, especially since you are losing

A smile crossed his face like he knew what was going to happen next…

He made a curious move then suddenly Sara ran by…

I forgot about the timed duel…

It all happened so fast

I was distracted by Sara’s pace, and what I felt from her…

Something was very wrong…

I felt dread, saw a kid, then…

The vision ended with…

LESTER WINS! REN IS DISQUALIFIED FOR MAKING NO MOVE!

FUCK! Congrats you old coot…do you mind my asking…

What is it you are headed back for?

With a grand smile he said…

I want to drink all the booze I can and live in peace until I die again!

WHAT?!

*Sigh*

Fair is fair, go back, just know you can only invoke the game of souls once

Next time, you are done…

Corporate is going to displeased

So much for that promotion…

-Behind The Scythe #2: Ren-

 

 

 

Entry 104: Behind The Scythe #1: Sara

Everyone dies

Do you understand how many I see die in a day?

Thousands I process easily in that time span

Time is against any living thing

Do you know what it’s like to take a soul to another place?

I’m not talking about the paperwork and all

I’ll give you an example

Today I had to take a 3 year old away from his family

Car crash, semi impact

By some miracle if you can call it that, the parents survived

The kid however didn’t

In an instant all their life’s pride taken away

An innocent child had to come away with me

People fear death, this is likely why

We Reapers are constantly walking by the side

Of those about to die

This gig, it is something you are chosen to do

Long before Death assigns a Reaper to you

There are a variety of reasons someone is chosen

Many train while still alive so that when they die

They will be ready to join our ranks

Those training walk among you

This happens in all realities

They can be your neighbor, your best friend

Most live a life that brings them constant travel

Some start before they realize they are training

All Reaper recruits know what they are destined to be before Death

They often meet the Reaper who will take their soul

Long before the bell of Death tolls for them

It can be a pretty scary thing

Usually you first find out through an NDE

Though sometimes, we simply come before you

Other times we explain things in your dreams

I remember when I first met the soul I’m training

I won’t reveal names but let’s just say our first meeting

It was quite and electrifying experience

I’m pretty sure I was charmed then

I thought to myself this soul is going to make an excellent Reaper someday

Unfortunately that means a life time of being around and witnessing Death

We all go through that again and again…

Some grow numb to the pain associated with the job

I personally never could

Every soul I take I treat as though they are my own family

We are supposed to be impartial to sins they’ve committed

After all we don’t pass down their sentencing or decide where they go next

We are simply there to escort them

Taking the souls of the damned to where we are told to take them next

I’ll explain sometime everything about how we get those orders

For now, live every day as though it were your last

Cherish every soul you love and care about

Someday a Reaper will come for you or your family too

Hopefully you won’t wind up in Black Winter

If you do though, find me at the bar and let’s talk

My name is Sara and I’m one of many Reapers

Maybe I’ll see you soon…

-Behind The Scythe #1: Sara-

Entry 90: Nova Daniels #3: Silent Suffering

*Whispering*

Do you hear us talking to you in the night?

You don’t respond pretending we aren’t there

We know you hear us

We speak to you of dark things

Only you can hear us for now

Your life is hopeless

You are in Black Winter now

There is no escape for you

Only suffering

Give up, give into the whispers we speak into your mind

You are ours now

Forget all of your past

Your husband is dead

Submit, or we will show you exactly what has become of him

It is something you don’t want to see

We speak truth to you, though you are in denial of what you hear

Come now Nova, hear the whispers in the wind

You are all alone now

There is no one who will help you

Not one soul on the outside solved a single riddle for you

No one offered help to you

You are doomed now soul

Forever you are to roam these woods

Killing other would be souls who come through

This is how it all ends for you

No bloodshed, no violent end

Only silence

Go ahead and try to scream

We think you will find your voice is no longer working

………………………………

Now you see what we mean

Someone will be here soon, they are walking to their doom

You will kill them

They will be your first

At which point you will be ours

Another denizen of this town

A silent murderer who will only be able to temporarily stop their pain

With each life you take

Go ahead and give into us now

The cold loneliness is how it all ends

Silently you will suffer, wanting to scream

This shall be your fate…

…eternally…

-Nova Daniels #3: Silent Suffering-

Entry 83: Things Heard In The Static #4: I Am Fear

Do you feel that?

That lovely feeling of dread

I creep up inside your head

You look out your door

What is that noise?

No one is there

Still, uneasy is how you feel

Smiling I watch, closer than you think

That slow desperate anxiety is beginning to overtake your mind

I creep closer still

The sun is beginning to disappear

Setting behind the skyline much like your inner peace

Here I am I whisper in your soul

A blackening darkness you can’t control

Try as you might the more you struggle and fight

The tighter my grip gets on what is left of the sanity in your mind

You fight me every second of every day

You tire of this invisible fight no one sees

I’m getting stronger now, you are beginning to lose control

Soon…

I’LL RIP YOU APART FROM WITHIN!

Yes, feed me with your every thought

After all, I am everything you fear because I’m fear itself

I turn everything into something that will potentially kill you

All the pent up anxiety and panic attacks

Oh no, you are struggling to breathe

The very sound of anything at night is one step away from triggering your PTSD!

I’ll just wait and relish as I bring you closer to insanity!

Every waking moment of your life, an endless fight that no one will empathize with

No one will see

Till one day you snap and fall into complete insanity!

I love you, and I’m your best friend

When you are all alone in the insane asylum

In the end…

…I will be the only one to keep you company…

-Things Heard In The Static #4: I Am Fear-

Entry 75: Claire

I didn’t do it/YES I DID!

They were happy/I WAS MAD!

I didn’t enjoy it/OH BUT I DID!

I think there is a monster inside my 6 year old body/I AM THE MONSTER!

I didn’t care for the taste of their flesh/IT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUS!

I’m just an innocent little girl/I’M EVERYTHING YOU FEAR!

You reading this should be safe/I’M GOING TO ESCAPE BLACK WINTER AND STAB YOU IN THE FACE!

No really we can’t leave/THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK!

Seriously, we exist in a fictional reality/THINKING THAT WILL REALLY KEEP YOU SAFE WHEN I MURDER YOUR FAMILY, STEAL YOUR SOUL, AND FUCKING DRAG YOU BACK TO BLACK WINTER MYSELF!

Why that look on your face?/I CARVED OFF MY DOGS FACE!

I assure you that you are safe/THERE IS NO PLACE YOU CAN HIDE!

Yep, a fictional town in a fictional space/THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK!

I couldn’t possibly get inside your mind/I’M PSYCHIC, SEE YOU SOON!

I’m trapped in this old, drab, padded cell/I’VE KILLED THEM ALL IN THIS PLACE!

They are surely all safe outside this cell/THEY ARE LIVING IN ME NOW!

Oh is that your cat?/SO CUTE THAT IT IS BLACK!

You drink coffee?/I DRINK BLOOD!

You like meat?/I DO TOO…OF A DIFFERENT VARIETY!

Can you see me smile as you read this?/I LOVE WHEN MY VICTIMS SMILE EVEN IF I CARVE IT INTO THEIR FACE!

Are you feeling okay?/WHY THAT FACE?

You love to read and write/I MAKE ART OF A DIFFERENT KIND!

Well when next we speak/IT WILL BE IN NIGHTMARES AS YOU WEEP!

Oh you have such a lovely home/DO YOU SEE ME WATCHING YOU?

-Claire-