Entry 414: My Darkest Sin

They don’t understand me

They don’t know true pain

They’ve never truly had to suffer

At least not in this way

Night after night…

…The NEED increasing…

The ABSOLUTE OBSESSION that comes from my condition

Yes

I know true pain

In trade however

When I give into my LUST

MY ABSOLUTE DARKEST DESIRE

I feel a bliss no soul can come close to experiencing

I taste it simply speaking of it

I am sent back to every victim

Every soul I tasted of

My lips tremble at the thought

It was hard in the beginning

I refused my bliss

I refused my DEEPEST…DARKEST…DESIRE

I fought against my very existence

Why?

Because I didn’t know true happiness

I’d never given into it

I’d been afraid when I realized what I’d become

I’d been left with nothing

Left to my own way

I always felt eyes upon me

I felt her watching

Still, I was never greeted…initially…

No, I was watched from shadow

I fought the cravings at first

I HUNGERED & yet…I tried to resist…

That’s the thing though…

…Walking the streets of Black Winter…

…I felt them call to me…

…All…of…them.

Their very bodies begged for me

So it was

Late one night

I wandered the street

I wasn’t truly sure where it’d end

Deep down though, I knew I was about to commit a DARK SIN

I was a pastor once

A trusted member in another time

The woman changed that

I never saw her

She took me in the night though

When I awoke I found myself alone in this town

Welcome to Black Winter the sign said & yet there was no direction

No way out

I’ve tried

That’s not what’s important though

What’s important is the night I wandered

The night I first gave in

That night

After many nights of suffering

I wandered

Then I saw him

A boy probably no older than 10

He was covered in dirt

He asked me if I could help him find home

I told him I knew not where his home was

I asked if he knew

“Yes but, I’m scared to go alone” he said to me

Okay I told him

I would escort him home

I walked with the boy in those cold dark streets

Every step I felt myself growing hungrier

Every step I felt my CRAVING grow stronger

Every step the already AGONIZING SUFFERING…well…it grew

I turned toward the boy, watching as although scared he looked at me

A slight smile showing hesitant peace

I smiled back & we continued walking

I dropped pace ever so slightly & I heard her voice

“Give in…in the home…”

Her voice terrifed & also commanded me in a way

I yearned to do as she asked to an obsessive level

So it was I was led home

The childs home

A knock upon the door later and a woman appeared

The concern on her face showed she was his Mother

The robe she wore was

Well

It was revealing

She welcomed her boy in but, she became transfixed upon my gaze

And I

I became transfixed upon her flesh

She told me to come in & I obliged

The door shut

The boy was sent upstairs

I could hear her heart, I could sense the blood becoming warmer under her flesh

Then everything went black

I came to in bed

Her bed

She begged for more of me

I realized we were naked

She & I had become one

I felt myself slipping

Then, in the corner I saw her

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever gazed upon in my life

It was her

I could sense it

She smiled

Evil permeating from her gorgeous body

“Give in”

Two words were all it took

The moment went form a beautifully romantic scene

To a bloodbath

In a flash my teeth sank into my victims throat

I ripped her jugular out & bathed in the beautiful spray of her blood

She didn’t even have the time to scream

I drank so much from her & I felt ALIVE!

I felt PLEASURE BEYOND IMAGINATION!

A type you could not understand

I danced with her dead body

I drank some more

I covered myself in her blood

Then…

…In the doorway…

I…saw…him…

A terrified child!

He had every reason to be scarred for eternity

However,

I heard her voice right outside of my right ear

*Lick*

“Mmm…finish this…”

I remember the boys eyes wide & petrified

A lamb that knew its slaughter was NIGH!!!!!!

I dropped the mothers body to the floor with a thud

My smile grew now as the boys eyes began to shed tears of horror

Still my smiled grew as I put a finger to my lips to quiet him

“Do not be fearful young one…you’ll be see your mother again soon”.

I grabbed the child

I was ready to rip his heart from his chest but she told me to make it slower

A part of me hesitated but, then that part died in the blissful memories of the mothers blood.

I therw the boy into a chair & I slowly sliced him

I did so with my finger nails

I heard her laugh

She was pleased at what I was doing & I wanted only to please her more

So…

…I slowly ripped out his tongue and threw threw it on the floor

A gurgled noise the kind I’ve never heard rang out

I imagine he was trying to scream but it was hard to for him

I tasted his tears

Then I watched as she cut open his throat

She wasn’t in my head

I was sure of this now

She put a glass to his open wound and offered me the first sip

I’ve never looked back since

-My Darkest Sin-

Entry 412: Black Winter Legends & Lore: Her

Have you heard of Her?

Don’t speak her name if her real name you knew

Avoid Lake Park this time of year

Steer clear of your windows at midnight…

…if you know what’s good for you…

Have you heard of Her?

She walks the park at night

Often near the lake itself

Sometimes with a lost look in her eyes

Some say they’ve seen her eyes

Some say they’re a beautiful blue

Some say they’ve seen Her eyes

Some say they’re black as the most evil soul

I hope this isn’t true

She like many wanders this place

A town that comes to you

Black Winter has never been known to let go

So why would it do it for Her?

Get a clue!

All my friends who have seen her

Say she scares them straight through

There is a twisted gnawing deep within their souls

It’s as though she feeds on them

One time I saw Her

It wasn’t here though

It was just before the truck hit me

Her eyes as black as the night

I looked & then WHAM!

All went black

…I died that night…

Most say she is evil

I am unsure

I can share though that there never has been a terror

More sincere

From deep within

Than I felt in my soul

Seconds before

My end.

-Black Winter Legends & Lore: Her-

Entry 411: The Room

There is a room inside my place

A room that doesn’t fit time or space

I can only access this room through one door

When I do I always find my body hits the floor

What was once a door is suddenly no more

My body on the ground I hear no sound

A single tv sits in the center of the room

Static playing

A sudden feeling of impending doom!

I want to run so fast

My body however just stares right back!

Now standing it happens the same way

Lately though small things have been changing

Tonight I hear the chime of a clock

The static continues

Suddenly I am able to walk

RUN!

I scream to myself

My body however rejects this…

Instead it takes one step forward

The clock falls quiet

The static still mute

I once again hear nothing.

A moment later the static ends

I see something inside the television

It’s a woman…

She looks like myself

She doesn’t look to be in good health

Her face is cold

Her eyes like stone

Suddenly I hear myself?

I don’t want to be alone…

Blood begins to drip from the images head

I feel faint

The woman curtseys…

A smile suddenly appears upon her face

The blood continues to run

Suddenly I sway

Before I know it my vision is gone

A metallic smell…

A craving…

Soon, everything fades

I see myself leaving.

My body thrown out the door

I don’t feel myself at all

I’m falling

A black void beneath

I know I’m about to crash

However…

When I land

I’m myself again

I’m in bed

The door is no more

In the darkness

Something snorts

I’m afraid to move

Afraid I’ll die

Then a voice asks

…Why?

Slowly, I step out of bed

The floor feels of marble

Every step I feel breathing

I turn back

My bed is no more

Am I awake

Or am I still…

…NO!…

No, that can’t be!

I’m in my bed

…right?

W-W..hy?

I hear the voice again

A single light appears

A white tub sits within it

I take another step forward

I hear breathing beneath my feet

In the tub

She stares back at me

This makes no sense!

In the past I was always eventually let out

Could I still be trapped within The Rooms confines now?!

No…no way!

This is just a bad dream…

GO AWAY!

A sound somehow familiar

Yet unknown as well

That sound is crying.

A sudden laughter comes from the tub

I’m staring at myself again

I’m smiling.

The laughter is brief

My images skin begins to peel

A terror in her eyes

Followed by delight

Suddenly I’m overcome with chills!

I remember the crying

Though…

…I’m not sure why…

I feel my heart skip a beat

A sudden sorrow

Consumes me.

This seems familiar

Yet, it doesn’t make sense

That is until

She pulls her out of me

Between her legs

Skinless,

Covered in blood she holds my flesh

High above

A sudden flood of memories

Glimpses of another life

The crying is coming from the baby

She or I, I’m no longer sure…

…Stands in the tub

The blood runs endlessly

She holds the crying child out

A sick smile graces her fleshless lips

We must feed now!

Those words

I believe I’ve heard them before

I suddenly fall to my knees

My stomach is screaming!

For a second I can see a face near my hips

I blink

It’s gone again

Drip…drip…drip

That scent is there again

I can feel my skeleton LURCHING!!!!!

It…it smells so good!

So familiar

My head is faint again

Before I know it

I’m covered in blood

I awake again

Sated.

The tub is full of blood

A woman hangs in the side of the room

Her stomach & guts

Decorate the bathroom

Inside my head I hear that babies cries

A pounding is on the door

I’m naked

I’m not sure I know why?

There’s a loud bang

I snap to

I’m once again in that room…

A tv plays, static muted

My lips taste metallic…

Someone is telling me

It is time to go

They strap me in

They drag me away

Suddenly I have an audience to go with this play

They all look so upset

Some stare at me with regret

I’m now moved to a place with a view

The audience continues staring

I feel something placed upon my head

There’s the sound of a switch

Then a sudden

JOLT!

As everything goes dark

I feel safe

That is until

I awake…

There is a room inside my place…

A room that doesn’t fit time or space…

I can only access this room through one door…

…I feel like…

…I’ve been here before…

…Inside…

-The Room-

Entry 410: Layer 1

Every night I awake here

Every night I hear it

A

*Click Clack* *Click Clack*

Then I head up

Do a check

Nothing

I pause for a moment

Look all around

When

*Click Clack* *Click Clack*

The sound rings off again

This time I hear it down below

I head down

Have another look around

Still…

…Nothing.

*Click Clack* Click Clack*

I believe I am hearing something…

*Click Clack* *Click Clack*

I know it is something…

*Unintelligible Groaning*

You hear that, right?

I should warn you while I have a chance

I’m having dreams of…

…others…

I don’t remember the last time I needed to eat food

I don’t remember the last time I had a visitor at my door

The last I remember I was readi-

*Click Clack* *Click Clack*

I KNOW YOU HEARD THAT!

Yes…I’m speaking to you…

…Listen, for I must warn you…

If you’re reading this

Or

If you are dreaming th-

*Click Clack* *Click Clack*

*Shivers & Cries*

It’s at the top of my steps

Waiting in he dark…

…You…

…You reading or seeing this…

*Click Clack* *Click Clack*

…It sees you too…

-Layer 1-

Entry 409: I’m Smiling

I sit alone tonight

Under the moonlight

In my home

So alone

I sink into the depths of my very soul

In this place I hear their cries

All the sadness

All the voices asking why?

I hear them every single night

Whispering their tragedies

Telling me it’s time

They say I can join them

They say I should now

They swear it is all going to be fine

Sometimes I humor the words they speak

Sometimes I even consider my own tragedy

So I walk toward my door

I pull it open but behind it

There sits only a black hole

The hole is darker than night

If I stare long enough

I feel as though it is consuming me

My flesh seems fine

But my soul is light

The black hole beckons me

I feel as though I should take another step but…

…Then it happens…

I am struck with distant memories

They feel real

They feel mine

Yet,

Something isn’t right

Something is making them

Then I’m here again

In this chair

Alone

Hearing their whispers

I see myself there

Just above

Moonlight caressing my body

I stare at the lifeless corpse as it hangs

I hear them talking

How can I be in this chair

While also hanging from there?

Am I dead?

Yes” says a voice

It speaks from within me

It isn’t me though

No…

…The voice is grim…

My soul feels heavy

My door opens once again

There stands something I can’t explain

Before me

“Come” the voice says

Compelled I move without a choice

The sound of an elevator dings

The doors open

I step within

The thing stands beside me

Staring as the doors close

I see something

From the rope

My eyes are wide

There is no hope

…Yet…

-I’m Smiling-

Entry 408: From Her Soul

From her soul came a sound

From her soul came an epiphany most profound!

From her soul were uttered the words heard only once

Words so powerful

All who heard them

Became one

In her words they found a flame

An all consuming fire

One that still burns them today

From her soul they now cry

Imprisoned but, happy.

Why?

No one can say for sure

But,

Should you hear her words you will join them as well

They smile in their torment

Their flesh burned again and again

They laugh in their punishment

A grin most disturbing

Simply seeing such is enough

To end ones life

A price given willingly…

From her soul you’ll hear a name

A name so profound it will spirit you away

In her words it is said you’ll hear your truth

Welcoming eternal torment

Giving yourself up…happily.

-From Her Soul-

Entry 407: It Grows Beneath Them

Every night

I can hear it speak

Its gears having stopped grinding only once completely…

Much like time though

There is never a true end

So night after night

I burn

And…

…I listen…

That sweet chorus of screams

I imagine it lovingly

I can hear it grind

I can hear their SCREAMS!

Time after all…is never dead…completely

It grinds every night

It ticks every day

Though how does one really know the difference?

I know the difference.

I know it well

Day isn’t visible but, time is kept still

The audible screaming is of a specific tune in the day

Then it’s a chorus upon nights fall

I suppose this could all be a hallucination

Another tormented suffering of the madness of HELL!

That all said…

…I know it isn’t…

I…KNOW…the difference…

…It ticks…

…It…GRINDS…

Sometimes I even hear it speak into my mind

It is one name

Over and OVER…again…

The name of the one responsible for temporarily stopping its flow

It simply says

…SARA…

It is the only word or name it speaks

It speaks it with a malice that terrifies me!

Even in Hell, I’ve never known a hatred like this!

Over time this thing has grown

Over time it has shared its story

Not through words for it only speaks her name

But, through the ticking

Through the GRINDING!

YES!

Everyone who is familiar with what happened that October

Well…

…They know the story naturally…

But,

It shares it again

It drags the hatred

Its emotions through our souls

It drives us forward

Over time it has driven us all further MAD!

HA HA HA!

It has grown

Its gears scream a sound both beautiful and terrifying

In a way, no other has shown

It bides its time

I’m certain the Devil himself

Is wary of this thing

It has slowly formed its own place

Growing more every day

Whispering the screams of its tale

Laughing in endless insanity

It SCREAMS…HER…NAME!!!!!!

…SARA!!!!!

-It Grows Beneath Them-

Entry 406: Your Agony Is A Beautiful Thing

I smell it

The sweet scent of honey in the air

I see it

The future home

I know it

The things that dwell within

The memories, the history

All soon to change

I salivate

As I imagine how my first meal in this place will taste

I relish it

The new life

The freedom of a new place

The faces I’ll see & meet

All of them believing

Home is the same as it has ever been…

I know it

The things that it may fear

The unease about tomorrow

The silence as it rests

Every home has a personality

One I’ll soon change

I breathe in

As I get closer to my new nest

Taking in the scent of honey one more time

Before I move in

I’ll admit

You have quite the scent

You’ll make the perfect place to raise my new family

To feed our hungry souls

I watch it as it rests in bed

Late the hour is

I could think of no time better than now

I unlock it

It is now we begin to move in

I unpack

The eggs are ready to be seeded

It’s a quiet process

You’ll never notice

Especially as I grow more comfortable in my new home

Your mind

Slowly begins to break

Nightmares

Drive you to awaken

A cold sweat

A nice temp

The eggs are beginning to fully absorb inside their home

The closer they grow to hatching

The more comfortable we’ll all grow

Now we slowly wait

My influence growing

My eggs swelling

The headaches won’t last long

Pretty soon I’ll be in full control

But…you’ll still be able to feel it all

The eggs hatching

The neverending need to scratch an itch

That has no end

I’ll clean the blood up for you though

It’ll help me grow

Eventually, you’ll want to scream but, that’ll only happen internally

For, by that time, you will be in agony

No one will hear your screams

I’ll be using you to create more eggs & plant them in all your family & friends

When they’re finally ready to hatch

They’ll eat their way through everyone’s skin

For you though, I’ll make it extra slow

I’ll make sure you carve open your own skin

Bit…by bit…you’ll flay yourself

I’ll make sure you feel ALL OF IT!

I’ll keep your soul conscious & aware

As I use your body, my soon to be old home

To continue cutting & peeling you away

Piece by piece

When all your family & friends are finally consumed

I’ll take all of their souls & yours as well

I’ll bathe in the blood of my victims

Soon after we’ll move on

My babies will grow fast

They’ll find new homes of their own

I’ll drag your soul with me

Place to place

I’ll make you relive your agony

Again and again

Oh dear sweet soul

So delicious

You’ll forever be a part of my collection

I’ll smile for the rest of time

Simply knowing

That all your pain will know no end

…Just as with all my other victims…

-Your Agony Is A Beautiful Thing-

Entry 405: It Has No Name

I see it every night

An abyss.

It holds fears unimaginable inside

In my mind, it shifts

In my waking its fear-induced paranoia

…is endless.

I can hear its call from the basement

Yet, every time I have the gall to try to check

I hear its voice at the door & I’m unable to answer it.

When I sleep again

Assuming it is actually asleep I am

I can see its black void staring at me

The steps that spiral down

End abruptly

A black void welcoming me instead

Some nights I swear…I hear it saying

“Step within”…

Some nights I debate doing just that

I ponder…

…what might happen if I did?

Just as I’m about to take that step

I awake

Assuming I’m awake that is.

The black void has no name

I think it an abyss

A portal to another reality.

A night ago I was sure I was going insane

But…NO!

I’m quite sure it said my name.

I remember laughing as I pinched my skin

I’m asleep…right?

Then it said my na-

*Blood soaks the rest*

It Has No Name-