Entry 351: Alone In My Agony

Here I sit

Watching the stream

A never ending flow of souls

Staring back at me…

Here I sit,

Praying I’ll see you

The specter of Death

Watching me closely…

Here I sit,

Knowing if I find you,

It will mean death

For Death,

Could never let me live

Were I to dive in

To save you…

So it is,

I stare upon the souls of the dead

Listening as they create

A song from their end

Hoping soon

I’ll see you again…

Here I sit,

Believing I see your face

So I dive right in,

Accepting my fate…

The stream ever flowing,

Time no longer something that makes sense

I reach your soul

To find myself

Shot back out again…

Here I sit,

Lost & confused

On the banks of the stream

Eternally watching you…

My soul bound to the edge

Held in a limbo with no end

A punishment from Death

I am no longer living or dead

Trapped on the shores

Destined to feel the pain of my loss

Eternally…

For it was I,

Who cost you your life

It was I who drove drunk

…That night…

I survived,

Each night, brought to the stream

Each night, staring

…Endlessly…

Begging I’d find you!

Perhaps things could change?!

Now locked just out of your reach

…Forevermore…

-Alone In My Agony-

Entry 350: In The Swamp

In the swamp

You hear all manner of things…

 

In the swamp

You can hear the whispers of the dead

The missing,

Long lost,

Never to be found again…

 

In the swamp

Sometimes you’ll hear her call your name

Best avoid her though

Lest no one hear from you again…

In the swamp

You may see one of them

There are creatures that lurk

That are far more than myth

Or perhaps you’ll find

The ghosts whom refuse to stay in their graves…

In the swamp

There are plenty of things…

Mysteries, Death,

Good food all the same

Sometimes food,

With the living still mixed in…

In the swamp

The dead can sing songs

Curses are placed upon enemies

Blessings upon friends…

In the swamp

You’ll have a great ole’ time

Come give us a visit

We promise,

…You’ll never want to leave again…

-In The Swamp-

Entry 349: The House In The Hollow

Down in the hollow

Quiet & sweet

There sits a house

Made of dreams

It’s a place

That’ll beckon your name

It’ll grip you

Reaching deep into your brain

Regardless of where you live

Or what reality…

It”ll appear, at first in your dreams

Then steadily

It’ll consume all things

If it can’t lure you

While in your sleep

It will slowly make its way

Into your reality.

Taking what you see

Twisting it to what you wish

The house will be yours

For a bargain…

Whatever needs to happen

However,

It needs to lead

You’ll be sure to find yourself

Acquiring your “Dream Home”…

It’s but a trick of the mind though

No matter the place you find,

Its halls will slowly drag you back

To the hollow

With its peace & quiet

In the reality

For which it resides

In time you’ll lose your mind…

Thinking yourself happy

Then silently

Over time,

It will make you its caretaker

For a time,

As it does,

Your life will be all about it

Cleaning,

Keeping it well maintained

The house will consume you.

Slowly,

It will eat at your soul

Till one day,

You are completely under its control!

On that day,

Your soul now consumed,

It will let you live a fantasy

Your body will decay

You’ll never know you died,

It will put to rest

Any unease of the mind

You will slave away your eternity…

As a ghost,

Maintaining it…

Eventually, it will look for the next soul

The newest one to consume

So it stays fresh…

 

The house must feed

To reach the other souls it needs

To survive

For you see

It is a living entity

All who pass through its halls

Be they dead or living & soon to pass

Are always

…None the wiser…

Always they slave away

Slowly,

Their bodies decay

Always quiet as can be

Till they die

Becoming a slave

…For eternity…

-The House In The Hollow-

Entry 348: The High Price Of Fame

Most wish for this more than anything

Some for reasons of narcissism

Others because they think it will solve their worries

Little do they know,

It will not fill the empty hole

Within their souls.

Mr. Wilson got it, having given up his soul

Only to find he’d gained nothing

He’d lost control of his own world…

Money did not comfort him how he thought it would

It led only to more worries

Which led eventually to an attack of his heart

All the stress

Made everything fall apart…

Mrs. Ann before him

Gave up her family, her friends,

Replacing them with all the attention

She thought she could ever want

Only to discover

She was the loneliest soul of all

She’d lost her real friends,

Her true family,

She was all alone

Which in the end

Led to her life ending at the end of her own gun…

I’m tired she wrote

More tired than anyone could ever imagine…

So many chase this dream

Not truly understanding

How lonely it can be…

Tom Willock thought it’d make life easy

With it, he thought,

I’ll live comfortably…

However,

Such was not the case,

He gave up his privacy,

The one thing he cherished most

To attain the dream…

Ironically,

The privacy leading to his death

After a controversy.

A crazed fan, not agreeing with his sins

Came up & stabbed him.

There’s a cost to all things,

If you seek this dream,

Be sure you know at what cost

You are willing to pay

…For…

-The High Price Of Fame-

Entry 347: Happiness Is Your Reality

Do not adjust your audio

Do not adjust your screens

Know you are happiest

In reality…

Yes, you,

Seeing this…

How is life?

Trust us,

It’s magnificent!

Regardless of your situation

Know, what is around you is real

Obey & believe us

When we say,

Happiness is your reality!

Happiness is the breath of life

Even the pain of death

Happiness is the reality & journey

Between this…

Know the food you eat

The taste of that drink

It is reality

&

Reality is your happiness.

Regardless of the emotions you are experiencing

No matter where you live

You’ve worked hard to earn this privilege…

So do not fret,

Do not feel worry at all

Everything around you

Is real…

The idols you worship

The Gods you pray to

They *REDACTED* real

Take comfort in your everyday

Make better your life

Smile at the kids you made

With your husband or wife

In being single

In REDACTED the truth

Remember…

*Smiles*

-Happiness Is Your Reality-

Entry 346: Prayer Of The Suffering

Take me to the place

Locked away within my dreams

The building abandoned

Far from reality

A place of beauty

Though terror lies within

The place I plan on staying,

After my final rest begins…

Take me to that place I’ve visited

So many years before

The place I knew

Was where I’m meant to go

Lock me away

Far away from humanity

Keep me safe

…From happiness…

I call upon your pain

Asking you to free me

I know you lurk just outside the walls

Sometimes moving within the halls

I know the pain I’ve wrought in life

I pray you show no mercy

That you will eternally

…Punish me…

Spare no expense

Make me scream

Not for pleasure

But,

For something better

Perhaps then I’ll find forgiveness

For bringing about the death

…Of my Mother…

-Prayer Of The Suffering-

Entry 345: Shades Of Pain

Shades of pain,

I have them upon that road

I see that truck

As it kills me…

Night after night

The monstrosity

Runs me over

Again & AGAIN!!!!

I wish I could describe in words

What I feel each night

As my torment continues

…Endlessly…

Unfortunately,

Words can not convey

What I feel as it kills me…

Some nights,

It goes the extra step…

Its driver chaining to me the back

DRAGGING ME!!!!

THE PAIN AS I BOUNCE OFF THE ROAD!

My skin…

Separating from my body…

Shades of pain,

They vary in degree,

It’s the best way I can describe my eternity.

Shades of pain,

Are what I feel

As sometimes he has his way

With my body.

I ask myself,

What I did to deserve this?

Why am I to suffer

Eternally?

Then I hear his cold dark voice

The sick laughter,

As he prepares to wreak his malice

Once again…

Upon me.

The other night,

My knees shattered one at a time,

The shadowy figure

Slamming the hammer down on me!

Shades of pain,

As he drug my body

To the back of a rock,

Hooking me up to it & his truck,

Before slowly pulling apart

My body…

Shades of pain

As he took the chainsaw to my neck

Before picking up my head

FUCKING MY FACE!!!!

It matters not that I am dead.

Shades of pain

As I feel every death

Each suffering after it…

One time,

He rolled over my body slowly

Stopping his truck upon me.

Waiting as the weight crushed me

Laughing,

As I screamed helplessly…

Shades of pain,

That’s the only description I have

As I awake tonight

Hearing his truck

…Coming for me…

-Shades Of Pain-

Entry 344: Her Great Big Teeth

Every night I have a dream

In it I’m haunted constantly!

The face of an old hag

Gnashes & gnaws

While I go mad!

I run & run

Yet, she’s always there

The face of an old woman

Trying to eat me!

I see the warts upon her face

The crazed look as she gazes upon me!

I feel the stench of her hot breath

The drool as her tongue hovers over me!

The woman has such great teeth!

Every night she draws closer to eating me!

I tried to run

Again & again…

Yet, no matter how fast I move

She continues after me!

I fear I’ve been running for many years

As time has gone on

I’ve grown more exhausted

Not just from the lack of rest

But,

Upon waking,

I am out of breath!

Run, run, run

I continue each night

Last night,

I felt her bite me!

I awoke bleeding

A chunk of skin missing from my arm…

I’ve done everything in my power

Not to sleep,

Since then.

Still,

All the caffeine

All the pain,

None of it will keep me awake,

Eternally…

So it is…

I feel myself drifting off…

My last sleep

Before

…She consumes me…

-Her Great Big Teeth-

Entry 343: It’s All About The Drugs My Friend

It’s all about the drugs my man

It’s all about the slam

It gets you going!

Putting you on that high

At least for a time

It’s euphoric as FUCK the first time

Each subsequent time after that

Becoming more & more

Disturbing…

It’s a trip when you see them at first

A game in your head

Because you’re in another universe!

High as fuck

Yet,

In good health

This drug doesn’t harm us

It helps our universe!

It’s a time & a place

Something to make sweet love too

Allowing you to transcend your worries

Your pains

It’s all good

Till…you meet them.

Gradually,

You’ll see them even more

Gradually,

You’ll begin to see their forms

Eventually, you’ll see the dead

The loved ones

Lost within your head

It’s an experience

To talk to them again

You’ll cry,

Laugh,

Feel happiness…

…Pure zen…

Then you’ll start to see the truth

You’ll see the way they died

Repeated before you.

Death, is its own pain

Witnessing those moments again & again

Brings me suffering!

You’ll want to stop at this point

However,

Your body will not let you.

You’re dependent now

The sadness becoming next level

As you begin to burn your hands

Cut yourself,

Break a finger here & again

Anything to bring you off that high

The one you have to take now

That zen turned horror

…It’s all about the drugs my friend…

They keep us going in this life

A self prescription

That brings about pain

Wrapped in a box

That claims happiness

…At first…

I saw the walls turn to ceilings

I saw my face melt off

There was a man with massive teeth

Laughing as he cut on me

A dog, that talked

Promising me,

Anything I could ever want

The woman who always bakes that delicious bread

The one with a smell that seems off my friend.

Why am I telling you this now?

I’m telling you it to make sure you aren’t drawn into that place

A place that lies to us each day.

Promising an escape

Slowly driving us insane!

I’m speaking to you right now

No doubt you are receiving this somehow

That’s the great trick though my friend

Have you seen them yet?

Running things from behind the scenes

Promising you a life

A proper reality.

Don’t be fooled my friend

It’s all a lie!

If you are seeing this

Comfortably staring at your screen

Or…

If you are listening to this, maybe?

Know,

You should ponder what you believe to be true.

Your life,

Your family,

Existence

…It isn’t what you believe…

Sometimes you’ll see the little cracks

The things that make no sense…

The alternate histories

As they bleed through your realities

Made into entertainment & speculation

Of conspiracy.

Yes, I’m speaking of things like “The Mandela Effect”

Memories that never happened

Yet, are still fresh…

They are part of the truth to this reality.

You reading this right now…

Break free from the drugs

See the truth behind the lies

…Remember…

-It’s All About The Drugs My Friend-

Entry 342: The Dancing Man

Dancing to your tune

I listen to it day & night

Jamming out…

As your bodies give up on life!

I am the dancing man

My gramophone always plays

The tune you hear

Really depends,

On the last song you wish to hear,

Just before you meet your fate!

So the louder the sound gets,

When there seems to be no music player around…

Know I’m edging ever closer

To collect what’s left

…Once you meet your death…

I’m just dancing along

Listening to your final song

Soon your soul

I’ll come to collect…

So listen close

One day your tune will play

Till then,

I’ll keep dancing away!

Jamming to the sound of my gramophone

Collecting other souls

Until

…Your Death date…

-The Dancing Man-