Entry 409: I’m Smiling

I sit alone tonight

Under the moonlight

In my home

So alone

I sink into the depths of my very soul

In this place I hear their cries

All the sadness

All the voices asking why?

I hear them every single night

Whispering their tragedies

Telling me it’s time

They say I can join them

They say I should now

They swear it is all going to be fine

Sometimes I humor the words they speak

Sometimes I even consider my own tragedy

So I walk toward my door

I pull it open but behind it

There sits only a black hole

The hole is darker than night

If I stare long enough

I feel as though it is consuming me

My flesh seems fine

But my soul is light

The black hole beckons me

I feel as though I should take another step but…

…Then it happens…

I am struck with distant memories

They feel real

They feel mine

Yet,

Something isn’t right

Something is making them

Then I’m here again

In this chair

Alone

Hearing their whispers

I see myself there

Just above

Moonlight caressing my body

I stare at the lifeless corpse as it hangs

I hear them talking

How can I be in this chair

While also hanging from there?

Am I dead?

Yes” says a voice

It speaks from within me

It isn’t me though

No…

…The voice is grim…

My soul feels heavy

My door opens once again

There stands something I can’t explain

Before me

“Come” the voice says

Compelled I move without a choice

The sound of an elevator dings

The doors open

I step within

The thing stands beside me

Staring as the doors close

I see something

From the rope

My eyes are wide

There is no hope

…Yet…

-I’m Smiling-

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