The sound of rain
It reminds me of you
The scars you’ve put on me
Remind of you too
It made me happy the day I fought back
You beat me
Spit on me
Made me lick your boots
It sucked…
No more than usual
Filming for your friends
Everything you did to me
They weren’t much better
All of them were pieces of shit
I tried to tell the police,
They did nothing
No one would believe me
You were too good at what you did
Probably helped
You were also a detective
Still, even with all the things you did
Even with what you did to me that night
I felt something,
Slightly different inside
I felt something snap
A smile appearing from my bloody lips
Internally, I was plotting
I pushed you
Night after night
Let you abuse me
For a while after that
Every time you busted my lip open
Or I felt a cut from your knife
I smiled inside
Eventually, I couldn’t hide the smile
It made you angrier
You had your way with me
I let you…
I laughed at the camera while you fucked me!
I smiled again when you beat me for it
I grew to enjoy the abuse and the pain
That didn’t change,
What I had planned for you and your friends
You invited them over,
I smiled
Wore something revealing for them
I’m nothing but a cheap whore you said
No one would ever care about me
I’d be nothing
There was no hope
No help for me
Well…
You didn’t know what I’d been doing
The beast whispering to me at night
The thing that lurked inside my mind
You pushed me to want suicide
Once upon a time
Then…
Funny thing,
I tried it…
I took your gun one night
Put it to my chin
Aiming for my brain
I pulled the trigger
Nothing happened…
A voice said my name
She was quite menacing in tone
Not…tonight…
I tried, again
Nothing worked
The gun never worked
I even pointed it at you and nothing
So, I put your gun back
Went to bed
Embrace the pain for a bit
That’s what her voice said
So I did…
It has been quite a while
5 years in fact
All that time, the shame and abuse
It fueled me
Maybe it was her
I’m unsure…
I do know though
Tonight, that changed
I went out back
Not entirely myself
The Chainsaw will be perfect for the deed
They’ll regret everything…
That’s what her voice said
So after a twirl
A smack on my ass
The final humiliation was to begin…
They were going to all have me
Film it
Watch it again and again…
They didn’t say that
I could hear her telling me that in my head
I laughed so happily as she did
That’s what they think they will do…
She said…
I said, give me a bit
I’m going to freshen up a little more
I walked away
They laughed
Stupid bitch! Shameful slut!
When we’re done with you…
You won’t walk!
All the laughs, the cheers with the things they said
I smiled…
Give me a minute
I went out back
My husband shouting at me
Telling me taking my time
Would increase my pain
I’d still make them sandwiches
Even if I couldn’t walk
I’m nothing more than a whore…
That’s what he thought anyways
I went to the shed
I knew the fuel was full
I came back in
Whistling my favorite song
My husband ran into the kitchen
I’d started up the engine
How lovely the blood was!
The look on his face was priceless
They heard him scream
All were in shock
I laughed away
Bathing myself in their blood
One by one
The saws teeth tearing into them
Eventually,
There was but one…
He pulled his gun
Click, click, click
It didn’t work
Of course not
She was there
Watching over me
I laughed as I tore into his flesh
He tried to run,
Then crawl…
Nothing happened but the sound of the chainsaw
His screams
The sight of his spine
As I tore open his back
Pulling it out and draping it over the coat rack
Such a beautiful sight
They were all dead
I turned looking at my bloody face
I was beautiful she said
Her voice
Something else entirely
Intoxicating
Perfect
It was then I realized
She was me
I…
Her
There was no one else
Just my own voice in my own head
Another me
Hidden within
I’ve always been here
I told myself
No one will ever…
-Abuse Me Again-
