Entry 381: Dear Daughter

*Gasps*

My…mind…

My…heart…

M-

*Chokes*

M-

*Coughs*

My…sou…l…

I see the memories

I have no control

I turn & run

Something lurks inside

How do you escape the walls?

The prison which resides in your own mind?

My daughter is all I have

She is all I want

As her Mother

I will NOT…give her up…

The walls of skin…

The halls of death

I’ll walk through them,

Standing on the precipice of my own end

I can hear Deaths calling…

Dear daughter,

I love you with all my soul

Please keep running

Don’t lose yourself…

…Don’t lose control…

This place is dark

The blood runs thick

The memories are there…

The ones I can never forget…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I sit on my knees

Everything in my body

Wants to give up on itself

As I point the gun into the abyss

The darkened halls call out…

I pull the trigger into the darkness that lives

I see only Death & madness within…

…Hope is almost non existent…

Dear Daughter,

I pull the trigger again

I hear a chiming

The floor slowly consumes me…

I hear them…

I hear it

I know soon

Shall come the end…

Her face looks like glass

She has no eyes

She hears all

She feeds upon life…

*Vomits Blood*

Just before I let this place take my soul

I want you to know

I will find you my sweet daughter

I will hold you once again,

As I put the gun to my head

Please know…

There is still hope for you

Please…

…Keep running…

BANG!

-Dear Daughter-

 

Message 3: 12-1-21-7-8-20-5-18

 

Entry 380: Dig…

I look at you

I feel relief

You’re a dead soul

You’re hate has been ended…

So it is as I stare at your corpse

I say,

Consider this our DIVORCE!

Dig…

For the sound the shovel makes

Each time I take some dirt

Slowly dumping it on your grave…

Dig…

For every time you smacked my ass

No matter how many times I told you I didn’t like that…

Dig…

For all the times you forced me on your lap

At all the events you’d take me too…

You called me your property,

You PIECE…Of…SHIT!

All the other holes are for those who laughed

I’ll get to them

…Soon enough…

DIG!…

For the time you took me to bed,

Using me, despite the fact I said no in the end…

DIG!

For the way you’d make me watch

As you did horrible things to me…

The way you recorded us in bed…

Me too ashamed, to stop you

Unable to fight back

One piece of the puzzle

That led us to this…

DIIIiiig….

For the way you used money to keep me in the Hell I lived…

No matter what I did or said,

YOU PAID THE FUCKERS OFF!

They simply, forgot my claims…

No worries,

I’ve got them all

I’ll finish torturing them soon enough…

…Dig…

For the tears I’ve cried

The way you abused me as your trophy

Caring less about my being your wife…

Dig…

For those who never believed me

No matter how much proof I had…

Dig for the bodies that’ll soon be in holes too

The reporters & judges who burned the evidence I had on you…

Dig…

For the police who came to our home…

Tore apart the place

Taking all the copies of all you had done wrong

Taking me to their station & having their way with me soon after…

*Slight laughter*

Dig…

For the look on your face when I finally had enough

Smashing you with a bat to the face…

Dig…

For the way I tied you up,

Forcing you to make love…

Not so fun when you don’t want it

Right?

Then again, maybe it was the bat

I rightfully SHOVED UP YOUR ASS!

…Dig…

Ha…heh…HAHAHAHA!

For the way you looked as I pulled out the saw

Putting it to your head

…Well…one of them…

DIG!

For the screams that rang out

How stupid you were

Giving me time,

Leaving me alone for a month…

Having your way,

Cheating as you always did…

While you fornicated with those other women

I began the soundproofing…

No one was going to hear

The end of your hatred!

DIG! DIG! DIG!!!!!!!

For the screams that came from you

As I sawed off your dick,

Soon after cauterizing the wound,

Before feeding it to you…

Dig…

As you choked & you gagged

Your once proud manhood

Slowly killing you…

Dig…

As you cried & you begged

Slowly I burned you again & again…

Dig…

For how you spit venom with words

Claiming you had a meeting tomorrow

They’d find you & I’d be dead…

DIG!

For the fact that they’ll all soon be dead

…I assure you of that…

I’ll bury them next!

HAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Whispers*

Dig…

For the burns I put into your skin

For the longest night of fun I’ve ever had…

Your death was slow,

I didn’t let you choke completely at first

No, I wanted you to know

The pain you gave

More pleasure for me

Before you entered your grave…

…Dig…

For the sadness in your eyes

As you realized your dear old wife

Finally snapped…

That soon you’d DIE!

*Hysterical Laughter*

I think it became obvious

Just before I took out your eyes!

Dig…

For the pain you felt

As I began to pour acid into every cut…

Stamp…

The sound I make on top of your grave

As I pat in the final dirt over you…

You a body choked dead

On his once proud

Symbol of “manliness”…

I’m not entirely sure what ultimately killed you…

The pain,

Your dick,

Perhaps it was the ants I poured down your throat

Maybe it was the bat that so happily

Went up your ass!

But,

GODDAMMIT! Do I feel GREAT!

Especially now, that you lie in a grave…

Dig

…For the others I need to bury…

As well as those who I must torture yet…

No worries,

I’ll tell them you send your regards

…As I bury them…

-Dig-

Entry 379: Things Heard In The Static #7: Mother Janet

*Low looping laughter*

Mother Janet make me bleed today

Mother Janet punish me…

Twist & contort my body & mind

I want to feel the bones snapping

It is my time…

Mother Janet cut my flesh

Mother Janet release my stress…

Punish me for my sins

Rape me till I can no longer walk

Sate me with that wicked tongue

I want to feel you underneath my skin

I want to know you in infinite agony…

Mother Janet take my soul

Mother Janet shred my resolve

Take the spikes

Push the pain

Pierce the flesh

…Slowly…

I want to taste the blood of my death

Rue every second with pained regret

Mother Janet keep my soul

Mother Janet kill me forever more…

*Screams of agony*

…

-Things Heard In The Static #7: Mother Janet-

Entry 378: I’m Lost

I’m lost

It doesn’t make any sense

I walked a path

Came to a dead end

It was here a Dog sat

He began talking

He said…

I must go West.

I thought at the time

It must be a dream

A talking dog,

Is an absurd sort of thing!

Then I pinched myself

I did not wake

So I headed West

Only to find a cat waiting

The cat did not speak

It did however scream!

The scream sounded

…Quite human…

I am lost

It makes no sense

The screaming cat

Screams with no end

Everything else around me

Is pure white

The trees

They shine bright

Unsure, of where to go next

I went on,

Heading West

On & on I continued to walk

Till eventually

I stood in front of the talking dog

He suggested

I kill the screaming cat

After that

I’d have the way forward…

He claimed he was sure of that.

So I  headed West

Arriving at the cat

Next to it

Now sat a bat

I picked it up

Still lost

It was then,

I gave the cat

A SMACK!

Blood poured

The screams grew

As I kept beating the cat

The sounds soon withdrew

The very last thing

That came from its mouth

Why?

I set the bat down & moved North

Not a word to the cat…

The world grew darker

The trees seemed to form an almost green hue

The world around me

Seemed to grow dark too

The wind picked up

The road filled with dirt

Save for the blood from the cat

Which continued to move forward.

It wasn’t long before I arrived at a place

The Dog was there

He said…

Go straight.

I did as he said

Unsure of what would happen next

The world a haze

A house soon stood before me

Walking to the door

I knocked to no avail

No one would come

…No one…

Stepping inside

I found a knife

A note attached simply read…

Upstairs

So I headed on straight

The stairs seemed long

I could hear a sound

A door at the top

Sat open…

Stepping inside

A man now stood

A gun to my face

He asked me to leave!

I asked him,

Why did you not answer the door?

He put the gun to my head

Promising if I said another word

He’d

…Pull the trigger…

The knife moved forward

As did I

The gun went off once

Before fell the guy…

Through choked blood

A knife now in his chest

He asked…

Why?

I told him

…Self defense…

The look on his face

Suggested I was insane

I didn’t agree

I was lost

And

…It didn’t make sense…

A door now standing before me

The world grew a bit red

I opened it

A blinding light at first

Then, a bed

The dog sat at the end of two sets of feet

A woman stood there

Clutching a kid…

Tears strolling down her eyes

I didn’t understand

I told her

I’m lost, can you help me?

The woman reached for a phone

The dog said

You must kill her soon

I felt a strange urge

Then,

Found the gun from the man

Mysteriously in my hands…

The woman said she needed help

I shot her in the face

Internally I could sense a voice

It said…

…To kill is the only way out of this place…

The sound of sirens grew louder

Their lights growing bright

The world around me shifted

Something didn’t feel right

I felt the gun taken

The dog grew a smile

It was a dark one

Laughing, he said

…Well done, child…

The dog faded

As I grew more awake

I was surrounded by cops

The little girl was being pulled away

Tears drenching her face

The cops were putting me in handcuffs

Dragging me away…

Now here they sit,

Staring at my face

I, a child

They looked confused

I, felt dazed…

Why would a child, do this?

Why did you kill them?

The question seemed to run out in shock

To this I could only think of one thing…

I’m lost…

And,

…It doesn’t make sense…

-I’m Lost-

Entry 377: Home

The chains hang

The blood drips

All is a part of this

The woman drags half her body

Asking for reprieve

The blood never stops bleeding

She never gains peace…

The photographs appear

As you wander lost in the haze

You know this was the way you last came

You know things aren’t the same…

The chants from the past

The memories that are not your own

It smiles, its teeth as wicked as the night

Sharper than the sharpest blade in life

The eyes open from the walls

The voices speak from somewhere else

The stairs never end

As up & up you climb

In that room the girl sits

Practicing the drawings

Never will she be good enough for her Mom

Always will she be butchered before long

Again it will repeat

Long after the blood you will see…

Your soul wandering lost

As a bell tolls off

Ringing in the night

The bell is always unseen

Till the sky lights red

The lighting striking someone to death

Life is unseen

Death is God

In this place you hear those words chanted

…Quite a lot…

Confused you may be as the world spins before your eyes

The truth of consequence will come

Once you die…

There is no hope

There is only despair

This place does not end

It only draws others in…

Some sights repeat

Before the future victims eyes

Born anew is the spirit of Death

As lost is each new life…

In time this place will fade

Still continuing the things most think insane…

Moving on till the time is right

Drawing another in

…Over time…

If you’re reading of the place

It is too late

It is reaching out

You will visit it

…In time…

Beware the mirrors in your place

The dead will stare at you from them…

The gateway to a place

No longer seen

Drawing closer every time you sleep

The hanging twins

You’ll think are only part of a dream…

The graves of the lost children

Once full of life

They will sit in the night

Smiling from underneath your feet…

The blood from her teeth

The lady of the place we speak

Will slowly water the grounds

As cry & howl will the dead hounds…

If you appear in this place one night

Remember who you are

Remember your life

Pray for your family

Any children you may have

Hope you will never see them again…

For if you do

It will be in this place

…Reliving a death most horrific…

*Distorted voice*

Won’t you join us…

…Won’t you come…

-Home-

Entry 376: We

We love you just how you are

We want you to know you are swell

If you’re reading this

You should keep strong to your beliefs

Continue to eat your daily dose of the things we tweet…

The news only speaks the truth

We love watching you march to your 4-15-15-13/Success!

Fighting the evil that corrupts us!

Keep pushing, keep spreading love!

It’ll be easier to destroy the hate/3-15-14-20-18-15-12 25-15-21

We want peace/3-8-1-15-19

Only with your help can we become one!

Only with your help

…Will we know a world without hate/6-18-5-5 20-8-15-21-7-8-20…

-We-

Entry 375: Emptiness

Emptiness is a powerful thing

A lot like nothing when all is gone

Emptiness is what I feel

If I do not kill

The blood sprayed when I drop the hammer on a head!

The life leaving the eyes when I stab

Again…and…again…

The way they squirm when hanging from the noose…

I feel alive as I kill!

However,

During the day

While I roam online

Stuck in the most mundane day job…

As I watch the stupidity of other souls…

I feel emptiness.

An emptiness most powerful you see

For ridding myself of this emptiness…

That’s my motive for killing!

If I did not feel so empty inside

If I did not feel so without life

There would be no need to kill to feel alive…

So, when the court asks me

How is it, I can be so happy about those I kill

How can I strap someone to a table

Pull out their teeth

Slowly saw off their tongue

Do all I can to keep the swelling down

So I’ll have time to take the finger nails next

Looking them in the eyes as they scream

The terror practically able to be smelled from their sweat

Their BLOOD!

I will tell you something right now…

I FEEL ALIVE!!!!!!

I LOVE WATCHING THEM CRY!

The way they can be so hateful in their everyday lives

Then act so innocent as they cry!

How many times in their day they can treat the rest of the world

Like a speck of shit upon the ground

But,

When judgement faces them

Just before they are to die,

While they scream, cry, BEG for mercy!

Oh…I have a family they say!

OH MY GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND WILL MISS ME!!!!

I don’t deserve this!

I won’t tell anyone if you let me go!

All the same horseshit

Till I tell them, I already know…

I’ve seen the shit they do during the day

The way they treat their fellow man

They do not appreciate life

They do not deserve it

So, it is they who get to die today

They who I shall slowly torture!

They don’t appreciate life

They will not need to worry about it…

It is they who will fill the hole in my soul

They who will make me feel most ALIVE!

That is how & why I do what I do

Such is the easiest answer I could give you.

To the families of the deceased

I simply say thank you

Thank you for raising the rotten shits!

That did not deserve life!

Thank you for raising the souls

That would die to make me feel most alive!

Given the chance I would most certainly burn Stanley alive!

Megan would definitely drown in sewage a billion times were I able to do so…

John would still be covered in honey & left to be eaten alive

Janice would definetely be slowly taken sawed apart

Piece by piece…

Dan would most certainly hang from the church Belfry

He should not have harmed the innocent children who trusted him!

I could go on & on about those I’ve killed

I will not apologize for having taken pleasure in their ends…

I felt most alive while killing them…

If you wish to blame them

If you wish to blame I…

I honestly don’t care

I’d kill again

Just to destroy that feeling I hold right now…

-Emptiness-

Entry 374: The Craving

Sometimes…

I ponder the point of existence?

The reason for life?

Where we should go when we die?

I thought these were all answers I had figured out

Till the day

I was refused Death

The one

I awoke from

Enraptured by a craving for life

Everything that lived

Needed to provide

It was the only way

I would feel truly alive…

When it starts

You can not possibly hope

To attain control

No,

The thirst will consume you whole!

Soon,

You’ll kill anyone you can find

Not yet having the ability to turn them

Lost & confused by the pain

You only want their life…

You only want to taste that sweet nectar

That flows through their veins…

Yes,

You have no control in the beginning

No understanding of truth

Only the craving

The thirst to kill

To drain

It is impossible in strength

For at first

That thirst is endless in need

Like a babe sucking from the teat

Except,

You take it from the neck…

Well, that’s the eventual organ of preference

In the beginning,

You rip people in two!

YOU TASTE OF THEIR INSIDES!

IT DOES NOT MATTER WHERE OR WHEN!

YOU MUST FEED!

Be it from the dirt of the earth

The still beating heart of mortal man

Wherever you can get it

However,

You can get it…

You will FEED!

In time, your insanity

Your ravenous trance…

It will subside…

Bringing with it new understanding & confusion

The voice of your master will speak from within

You’ll find your way to them

They teach you

…For a while…

How to tune out the noise of the mortal souls

To avoid the sunlight for a time

With mastery however,

Even that can be overcome…

You learn to control your urges

To a degree

How to blend among those who believe themselves

Ruler of the earth we all see

You do not however,

Have the answer as to why?

Why eternal life?

Why endless existence?

Humanity calls us by Vampire in name…

We adopted that in time

Many of us, walking among them…

Only a few being turned

You are not given the answer as to why though…

No,

Only taught how to survive

In truth, no stake will kill us…

The sun burns but, it does not kill

It incapacitates till night

Unless…

You are a Master of the most ancient kind…

Fire will not kill us

It will however burn…

To thirst will torment us…

We must sate our desires

Near every night in the beginning

Lest we experience an unending pain

A pain like no other

One that only brings with it…

THE CRAVING!

Carnal pleasures though a way to woo the living…

Have no real meaning except the high of control

A chance to sate the thirst

We can feel but, we cannot procreate

We can only turn

…Sometimes simply feed…

…Or if we choose to…

…Kill…

So why?

What is the point of any of it?!

I will live longer than time

But,

Why are we placed here?

What is the purpose of life?

Death, if granted it?

What is the purpose of a soul that is turned into I…

Versus one who becomes a specter of the night?

There was a time

I tried to achieve death…

I did not find a way to claim it

Nor have any of my kind

To my knowledge…

There is no longer Death

For those like myself

There is only the insatiable desire!

The curse to live eternally!!!

Most of all though

There is that with no end

…The thing we call…

-The Craving-

Entry 373: I Can Hear Screaming

I awoke this morning

It was not quite the same

I could not remember who I was

Those I asked

Told me I have no name

I searched a city

For which I had no memory

I walked from door to door

Many were locked

The ones that opened

I wish did not

Running & running

I kept on

Looking for who I was

Gaining nothing at first,

I became lost…

The city whispered

The city laughed

In its center

Stood a man

MOST MAD!

I could not see his face

He wore all black

Smiling he asked…

What brings you here kid?

I stood confused

I can no longer remember…

Do you?

A smile

A cigarette in hand

He laughed

Soon disappearing.

Now I stand in darkness

I can hear a faint toll

Somewhere underneath the city…

-I Can Hear Screaming-

 

Message 2:

9.20 14.5.22.5.18 6.15.18.7.15.20

 

Entry 372: Song Of The Cellist

She plays her song late at night

She plays her strings with a smile

The rain always pouring

Upon the dead

She plays as though

She still lived…

The vivid detail in the music she creates

Summoning the memories

Of happier fates

A blissful time once lived,

Only the brightest memories

Does it create…

Walk by the old cemetery late at night

Perhaps you’ll hear her song

A warning of the coming after life…

If you do

It is said

Upon your death

You’ll be blessed

For her song

Does not just forewarn of Death

Her song,

Brings eternal peace with it

A promise of a gentle rest

No Heaven

No Hell

Only happiness…

She plays her song

Late at night

Her Cellos strings

Bringing peace to the dead…

-Song Of The Cellist-