Entry 414: My Darkest Sin

They don’t understand me

They don’t know true pain

They’ve never truly had to suffer

At least not in this way

Night after night…

…The NEED increasing…

The ABSOLUTE OBSESSION that comes from my condition


I know true pain

In trade however

When I give into my LUST


I feel a bliss no soul can come close to experiencing

I taste it simply speaking of it

I am sent back to every victim

Every soul I tasted of

My lips tremble at the thought

It was hard in the beginning

I refused my bliss


I fought against my very existence


Because I didn’t know true happiness

I’d never given into it

I’d been afraid when I realized what I’d become

I’d been left with nothing

Left to my own way

I always felt eyes upon me

I felt her watching

Still, I was never greeted…initially…

No, I was watched from shadow

I fought the cravings at first

I HUNGERED & yet…I tried to resist…

That’s the thing though…

…Walking the streets of Black Winter…

…I felt them call to me…


Their very bodies begged for me

So it was

Late one night

I wandered the street

I wasn’t truly sure where it’d end

Deep down though, I knew I was about to commit a DARK SIN

I was a pastor once

A trusted member in another time

The woman changed that

I never saw her

She took me in the night though

When I awoke I found myself alone in this town

Welcome to Black Winter the sign said & yet there was no direction

No way out

I’ve tried

That’s not what’s important though

What’s important is the night I wandered

The night I first gave in

That night

After many nights of suffering

I wandered

Then I saw him

A boy probably no older than 10

He was covered in dirt

He asked me if I could help him find home

I told him I knew not where his home was

I asked if he knew

“Yes but, I’m scared to go alone” he said to me

Okay I told him

I would escort him home

I walked with the boy in those cold dark streets

Every step I felt myself growing hungrier

Every step I felt my CRAVING grow stronger

Every step the already AGONIZING SUFFERING…well…it grew

I turned toward the boy, watching as although scared he looked at me

A slight smile showing hesitant peace

I smiled back & we continued walking

I dropped pace ever so slightly & I heard her voice

“Give in…in the home…”

Her voice terrifed & also commanded me in a way

I yearned to do as she asked to an obsessive level

So it was I was led home

The childs home

A knock upon the door later and a woman appeared

The concern on her face showed she was his Mother

The robe she wore was


It was revealing

She welcomed her boy in but, she became transfixed upon my gaze

And I

I became transfixed upon her flesh

She told me to come in & I obliged

The door shut

The boy was sent upstairs

I could hear her heart, I could sense the blood becoming warmer under her flesh

Then everything went black

I came to in bed

Her bed

She begged for more of me

I realized we were naked

She & I had become one

I felt myself slipping

Then, in the corner I saw her

The most beautiful woman I’ve ever gazed upon in my life

It was her

I could sense it

She smiled

Evil permeating from her gorgeous body

“Give in”

Two words were all it took

The moment went form a beautifully romantic scene

To a bloodbath

In a flash my teeth sank into my victims throat

I ripped her jugular out & bathed in the beautiful spray of her blood

She didn’t even have the time to scream

I drank so much from her & I felt ALIVE!


A type you could not understand

I danced with her dead body

I drank some more

I covered myself in her blood


…In the doorway…


A terrified child!

He had every reason to be scarred for eternity


I heard her voice right outside of my right ear


“Mmm…finish this…”

I remember the boys eyes wide & petrified

A lamb that knew its slaughter was NIGH!!!!!!

I dropped the mothers body to the floor with a thud

My smile grew now as the boys eyes began to shed tears of horror

Still my smiled grew as I put a finger to my lips to quiet him

“Do not be fearful young one…you’ll be see your mother again soon”.

I grabbed the child

I was ready to rip his heart from his chest but she told me to make it slower

A part of me hesitated but, then that part died in the blissful memories of the mothers blood.

I therw the boy into a chair & I slowly sliced him

I did so with my finger nails

I heard her laugh

She was pleased at what I was doing & I wanted only to please her more


…I slowly ripped out his tongue and threw threw it on the floor

A gurgled noise the kind I’ve never heard rang out

I imagine he was trying to scream but it was hard to for him

I tasted his tears

Then I watched as she cut open his throat

She wasn’t in my head

I was sure of this now

She put a glass to his open wound and offered me the first sip

I’ve never looked back since

-My Darkest Sin-

Entry 403: Fleshly Desires

I whisper to you during the day

I talk to you all night

At first, you thought I was your imagination

Over time, you found

You were not right…

For as I spoke more, you began to feel the urge

An urge to do things you would never do

At least…according to those closest to you.

It was within that first urge I had you tell a lie

Or…when in certain company

Specific truths.

I always start out small

Maybe have an extra slice of pie

Maybe get truly drunk this time

After all…

…who needs those pesky inhibitions?

Certainly not you when in the company of me

My voice became more alluring over time

You tried to resist futilely

Some ill-gotten sense of honor from your early childhood

When they brainwashed you with your “religion of choice”.

For all the bad a holy man would think of me

I’m at least honest in what I do…


…Most of the time that’s true.


I don’t lord fear over you.

No, quite the opposite you’ve come to know

As time continued to fly by

My voice beginning to sound as audible as the one in the bed next to you.

Soon I had to you watching porn

Testing the limits of what you’d give into

I shaped your mind very slowly

I offered you the free will many had promised you

Then…as time went on…I turned your attentions away

Away from your wife

Away from porn

Away from any woman, I didn’t wish to take over

Then came the first night you dreamt of me

Intoxicating as anyone could ever be

It was a subtle smile but, that’s all it really took

You didn’t even see my full face at first.

No, you were focused on my body

My perfect skin

My flawless lips

As well as…

…other qualities…


I let that seed spread

I slowly absorbed your thoughts my friend

You stopped praying to your pathetic God

You began craving me in your every thought

You’d take time personally to pleasure yourself

Thinking only of a simple image in a dream

Not realizing I was slowly spreading

I loved to watch you during that time

The way you’d give yourself to me

The way you’d ignore everything.

Sometimes, you’d do it with your wife sleeping right next to you in bed

It was thrilling!

Until the next time we met

That night you got to gaze upon my entire being

That night you swore yourself to me

You caved…falling to your knees

Slowly you kissed and licked my feet

As time went on, you went further for me

That was always how it was too.

Everything you did was for me

…It’s true.

You told yourself little lies at first but eventually

You caved even more.

I remember the night you took me to bed

First my feet

…then SLOWLY…

…you moved up my leg

I remember moving in

I let you squeeze my ass even as you tasted my sweetest lips

The juices of that kiss left you wishing…nay…BEGGING for more!

Then, just as you were about to fully cave

I made you promise me

We’d meet…the next day.

It’d start simple,

A mere trance

You’d spend your day pleasuring yourself for me

As night fell & the moon was as full as you wished to be within me

It was only then we finally sealed things

That night we made the sweetest and yet most wicked kind of “love”.

That night I got all of you.

I felt you throbbing between my legs

I rode and teased until I was sure you’d given yourself to me…eternally…

Then your wife walked in & I made myself known.

She saw my visage

She saw us becoming one.

She heard my moans & my cries

She saw my smile as tears shed from her eyes

She watched me laugh as I forced her close

I gave you the knife

She begged you to stop but…you knew who you loved most!

So I laughed as we played with her mind

I drove your crazy as you carved her insides

When we were done

We fucked her dead corpse.

It was pleasing, to say the least

I soon licked the knife before turning and slitting your throat…

The look of shock all over your face


…It was better than the blood of your wife I bathed in only moments ago.

Watching that look on your face

OOOh…poor baby…

…You shouldn’t turn me on that way!

I’ll admit I took your soul real slowly

I drained it from your cock as the blood slowly spilled from your throat

You came once or twice

I’ll admit to having used a bit of magic post mortem to finish you a few more times…

It was delightful the mix of semen and blood

Now I own you eternally

You’re my plaything in hell

Thankfully I was able to make it a package deal

I still pimp your wife out to every demon

Who so much as wishes for a piece of her…


All this could’ve been perfect for you

You were once so pure but…I corrupted you

There’s nothing better for me than forcing a holy soul to give in

To that the ultimate temptation

-Fleshly Desires-

Entry 401: You Complete Me

It’s sweet

The smell I mean…

It’s kind of like when you get the scent of someone you love

The way it sets you on fire…

It’s a bit like that

You see, that scent is what drives me completely!

The ecstasy when we finally meet

The allure of the seduction

The dance of the romance

It all leads to the greatest of finishes

It all leads to the purpose of my very being!

When we finish the dance and we become as one

That is bliss for which nothing will ever compete

Your neck

My fangs

The sweet scent of your blood

Finally draining down my throat


Sir or Madam…

When that is done…

At that moment…

-You Complete Me-

Entry 219: I’d Do Anything For My Love


I feel her touch

It wreaks havoc upon my soul

I feel her gaze

I’m losing CONTROL!

For whatever she wants

She ALWAYS gets…

Such is the way of The Siren

It started so simply

She met me at school

I was quite the fool

You see, I fell in love

It only took a simple kiss

I was lost in her bliss!

It started quite easy

She said all the right things

Looking into my eyes

She knew she had me…

I saw what I wanted to see

Her beautiful blue eyes

Piercing through my soul

The scent of an angel

Ever alluring

So, the first night

She came to me

I did not protest

I felt my blood

My very being

Begging for her!

She never said a word

Though, I hear her song within my mind

I would do, whatever she asked of me

I knew it wasn’t right…

My girl friend wouldn’t approve

That wasn’t a problem for long though

As she asked me to end it

Split up I felt her beautiful voice say

I couldn’t stop any of it…

I was hypnotized to such a point

I split up alright…

Walking to my lady’s home…

Taking an axe to her face

That was the end…of my relationship…

The visions were intense!

I’d never felt more alive

As she painted my ex’s blood onto her lips

Giving me a kiss, I’d never forget…

I was taken to Heaven

That night…

It was a high like no other

Though in truth, I was no doubt, going to suffer

I couldn’t stop myself

As she made love to me…

There was a strange melodic noise

A choir of angels

She never spoke a word


I was hers

So wholly consumed

For such an angel…

I’d do anything!

Next it was my parents

They had to go, she said…

A fitting sacrifice

A proof of my devotion…

Taking the chainsaw to my Mother & Father

It was all…

Hardly a bother…

I felt a smile grow

As the blood of my family

Splattered upon my face.

Such was how things would end…

The police called over due to the screaming.

Asking me what I’d done

Asking me why…

Their voices soon drown out

I heard her inside

She kissed me upon the cheek

Told me it was time

I’d join her, eternally…

So it was,

I revved the chainsaw up

Then laughing…



-I’d Do Anything For My Love-

Entry 186: Such A Lovely Smile

I still see you

Falling from that window

Death occurs


Then, I wake up and you are there…

It happens again and again

I don’t understand why?!

The people in white tell me that I need my meds

They say no one is smiling…

Then again I sometimes look and I see you in the corner

Staring back at me

Such a lovely smile

You were my best friend…

That is you, right?

I hear your voice

The world changes around me

It makes no sense…

No more people in white

Just her.

Hey Ashley…

She says gleefully

That is my name

Scarlet was yours

You seem you…

I’m confused

It still makes no sense

You are clearly here now

What am I supposed to think?

That smile is lovely…

It crosses my mind again

You give that smile always…

Just before you jump

There you go again,

Smiling, all the way down…


I’m back in the room

The people in white…

They’re dead

There is blood everywhere!


It doesn’t make sen-

I’m back in that old attic

You are all in black

Such a lovely smile



I hear the crunch

Grip my head

Screaming, but nothing comes out…

The room again…

They’re all dead

I’m covered in blood

Someone’s eye is in my hand…

I snap back too

The attic, but your smile is no longer lovely…

It doesn’t make any sense…

Your face, you are fearful…

As you fall…


I just wanted to tell you I loved you!

I just wanted you to care…

You look scared…

It is all too late I realize

Memories are tricky

The smiling one…

That was you indeed…

Up until I shoved you out the window

For rejecting me…

I always thought you had such a lovely smile…

Which is why, I had to throw you out the window

Making sure you never smiled again

You rejected my love

So, no one will ever love you again…

I wake up…

They’re all dead…






Now I am smiling…

You’re all dead…

Couldn’t have you see what I saw

That lovely smile

It is all mine!

No one will ever see that lovely smile…

Not again…

-Such A Lovely Smile-

Entry 173: I Am The One For You

*Recording Begins*

Do you think of me James?

Do you ache for me James?

I think of you all the time

You are always on my mind

Everytime I cut myself

Every cut, a new victim

A release of the pain

OF MY HATE!!!!!!!!!!

For those who hurt you…


Everytime I lose my mind

I think of you


I’m looking into the mirror

Smile on my face…

It is for you, my love

It’s not for my husband

It’s for you

I was a better person before I met you

You are my drug


I gave up much…

That’s why last night

I sent you that e-mail

That’s why last night…


I tied him up, like we do for sex

Made out with him…slowly…

The entire time he was inside me

I pretended he was you

Eventually though, I came down from that high

Seeing my husbands face, asking myself why?

I gagged him, took a saw to his dick



I cut out his heart….

I have it in a jar

A reminder of how far I’d go

To prove my love for you!


Maybe just maybe, I’ll be worth your time now…

Always there for you…

Till some abusive ass comes along

Spreads her legs and you forget me again

Too busy to talk

I’m just someone you come to in order to avoid being lonely

When no one else cares about you

That’s okay though, it’s their fault not yours!

That last slut is dead already!

I played with her slowly!

Taking a toy, giving it a razor finish…

I slowly…OOOOOOooh so slowly…


Covered her mouth…

Shoved it between those legs you love so much

Her muffled screams were beautiful

I tore her internally to pieces

The same way you tear me apart every day!

I couldn’t help myself!

Her pain was my own


Quite the submissive bitch she was!

It’s part of why you find her so fun right?



I went through the list…I’ve been watching you for a while

I finished them….SLOWLY!

One of your “girlfriends” I took out of the way

Gagged her, tied her down…slathered her in honey…

Let the ants do the rest…



I do you favors…killing them slowly

They all broke your heart James

I hate seeing you in pain when you go back to them

They do it all again…

All I want for you…

True love and HAPPINESS!

Is that too much to ask?!

I don’t want you to be sad

You need the perfect one

The soul just right for you…


Clearly I’m not that one, according to you…

You’ve made that obvious

However, I will be there, until you realize I am


Always killing the ones who hurt you

Making them know OUR PAIN!

I will be there for you when you need me

I will cry myself to sleep

When you inevitably ignore me again

The same way I will simultaneously love


I will relish that sweet, slow pain


Then, we can do it all over again…

Eventually you’ll…

Let the next whore hurt you…



I promise you this…

You will smile in the end…

You will find…






*Recording Ends*

-I Am The One For You-