This time of year
Do you feel
That holiday cheer?!
I know I do
I’ve wrapped my present wonderfully
Off to visit my family
The family is so delightful
Oh the things they’ve done
I’ll reward them accordingly
It is time to eat
My family asking
How are you, Emily?
Where is Jack?
I assure them
He was a bit tired
He’d make an appearance soon
Trust me, I smiled
So there we were
Talking of our lives
Smiling from ear to ear!
Mother, please open your gift
I wish to see, if you’re happy with it?
Oh dear daughter
Christmas is less than a week away
I’ll wait till then…
If that is okay?
Mother, I say with a smile
It is okay
No need to be modest today
Go ahead, open it please
Don’t feel bad…
I have a gift for everybody!
They’ll open theirs soon
I just want to start the holiday right
You had me at birth
The least I can do is have you open
Your gift first!
The rest of the family looked at her smiling
Go ahead, they said
Cheering her on
I stood there smiling!
My Mother opened her gift
So slowly she unwrapped it
The moment her eyes saw what was within
I took a snapshot of her face
For memories sake!
She was pale
Looked a bit under the weather
So I spoke in her stead
Are you not pleased
I gave the gift to you
That kept giving
I imagine you quite enjoyed it
So I kept it fresh
Sawing it off for you
We all know, how many times
You enjoyed Jacks dick
So I thought it a treat,
I’d saw off his dick, before killing him
Keep it safe, nice and as alive as could be
Then I’d deliver it to you
Make you happy!
As for the meat we are all eating so happily
The special meat I insisted you use for your stew
The one you all can’t stop bragging about…
That’s Jack too!
There was shock, the family looked afraid
On to Father, I said
I handed him a gift
He took it silently
His face in shock
Probably from fear
I give the best gifts, every year!
Open it I said
What was inside?
A camcorder, but not just any kind
One with memories
Those he’d like to keep to himself
I pulled a revolver out
Pointed it at his face
Told him to bring everyone to the family room
Then press play
My father did this slowly
He cried, begging me to reconsider
Come on Dad, no one likes a quitter!
That’s what you used to tell me
When you’d play with me, late at night
That special game
Just between us
I’d say I didn’t want to
You’d tell me it’s okay
Come on Emily, no one likes a quitter
You’d cheerfully say
Playing the video, all looked on in surprise
My uncle tried to slip away
I shot my Mom in the face
Told my Uncle, to clean the body
Make it go away
Like you did for my Dad
Every time he’d play with me
Go ahead, don’t be shy
I promise you, you’ll get a gift soon too!
Now that I think about it…
Make it 2 you make disappear
Mom and Dad need to be buried together,
This is true!
I shot my dad, right between the eyes
Laughing, before looking at my Uncle too
Come on, you’ve got things to do!
He made haste with disposing of the bodies
I made everyone watch what he did
I even recorded it!
Memories, I said
This will be the last Christmas we all have!
I thought we’d celebrate early
Fill it with holiday cheer!
After the bodies were dropped into the grave
I blew out my Uncles brains
He fell in, I turned to my lovely Aunt
Remember when you’d beat me
The summers I spent at your place?
Those were fond memories…weren’t they?
Open your gift now please, dear Aunt
I haven’t all night, after all
My Aunt trembled
I assured her, she’d die tonight
So there was no use in crying or tears
It’d be over soon, anyways!
She opened her gift, it was a bat
I asked her to turn toward her daughter
I told her to beat her to death
For being a watcher
Someone who saw, what she did to me
Yet, she didn’t speak the truth
When it was time too!
Gun to her head, I told her do the deed
She simply said
I smiled and said, I’ll spare your daughter
If she beats you death instead…
Without hesitation her daughter grabbed the bat
I watched as she beat her Mom to death
Isn’t this fun, everyone?!
Christmas holidays should be like this every year!
The deed was done, she pushed her mother in
I’ve done what you asked…
Will you spare me?!
I smiled, pointed the gun at her face
She started to plead
I shot her anyways
Sorry, I lied…like you used to do…all the time!
My dear family…who is left
Oh yes, just grandmother dearest
Are you going to make this difficult for me?
Or are you going to just let me end your suffering?
You’ve lived long enough after all…
80 years too long if you ask me!
You knew of all the secrets within our family
Nothing got by you…
Why didn’t you do anything?
You are very rude!
I know how you used to use my Mom…
Pimping her off, at the highest of costs!
No worries, I’ve got something special for you…
Go ahead…time to open your gift too!
FUCK YOU! I’LL DO NO SUCH THING!
GRANNY DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE!
I was hoping that is what you would say…
I brought this knife for that sort of thing.
I delight in the screams you’ll make
No doubt the police, will come running!
I’m going to carve you up, during that time!
When they arrive…I’ll end everything!
So that’s just what I did
I tied her up and cut away at her face
I loved it when her blood
Sprayed all over me!
This went on for 20 minutes at best…
Sadly, the neighbors called someone.
Shame I won’t have time to deal with them!
The police arrived just in time to watch me carve off Granny’s head!
They told me to freeze…
I shot myself in the head instead!
-That Special Time Of Year-