Entry 368: Forgotten

I miss your touch

The way you’d kiss

I miss the taste of your lips

The warmth of you in bed

The way you kept me safe

I miss the way you showed you loved our kids

That charming smile you’d always give

A nightmare now

As I see it every time my eyes shut

A friendly reminder

I have no one anymore

You’re long gone

Though I see you breaking

Our 2 kids growing

Into delinquets

The way you drink yourself slowly to death

All the while

I can do nothing

It’s not like

I did not try

I’ve thrown beer bottles off the desk

However,

It only led

To your further madness

You seem convinced

Evil is after you

You’ve begun ignoring our kids…

Time moves on

Things fade

Our daughter died in a car wreck today

Drunk driving

She shouldn’t have been drinking at all

You never cared

After I was gone…

I know you sit in despair

But,

Part of me wonders

Why you didn’t care?

I feel a darkness taking hold of my soul

I’m trapped here

Watching you all slowly grow old

Time moves on

Further still

Our son killed himself

You didn’t even go to the funeral!

The rest of the family

Had to pay the expense

You on the other hand

Sat in the dark

…Drinking…

You’re a shell

Of your former self

Giving care to no one else

Where was the man who gave us kids?

The smile that would never leave those lips?

The one, I fell for long ago

I hurt as I realize

He is no more…

You’re a shell of yourself

Something I don’t even truly know

You are no longer the man

I loved before…

I feel my tears turn to rage

YOU LET OUR KIDS DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!

No…

I can’t become that soul

It never ends well

However,

The darkness festers each day

Every night, I hear the voices growing

They tell me to kill you

I don’t entirely disagree

But,

To do so…

Would damn me for eternity…

I must watch you slowly wither away

Watch you kill yourself

Like our kids

More & more…

*tears up*

…Everyday…

The pain were I still to have a heart would be too much

*Cries*

Except now it’s worse!

I feel that pain in my soul

My ghost shaking without control

Still…

As the days & nights go by

I continue to hear them louder now!

Kill him

Tear him APART!

He deserves a brutal death now.

I tried to shut them up

However,

Now…

I feel myself agreeing with them.

As you walk into the shower

I think of ways I could end it for you

Lately,

I’ve been seeing a woman’s face

It’s a tad blurry

But,

She wears a black dress

Standing just out of sight

I feel a darkness

Surrounding her…

As you go to sleep each night

My once sweet husband

I stand over you

Imagining I’m standing over your grave

All the while

The voices speak to me…

I’ve imagined how I’ll kill you

Yet,

The part that still loves you

Continues to resist this…

I saw the woman in the black dress again today

Her face covered in shadow

I sensed her smiling at me…

The voices shriek when she is around

I feel my rage growing now!

So it is

11 at night rolls around

Just another night

Where I watch you sleeping now…

I let you get real cozy

Deep in the nightmares within

It is then I trap you

In a house

The use for which

I have yet to understand yet…

It just feels right

To trap your soul

Just before I take your life…

You do not wake

As I begin to tear off your flesh

The screams of your soul

Tell me you feel everything

Ripping the heart from your chest

I see a flash

Of the house you stay in now

Your screaming

In agony & pain

Then I see her face

Standing just behind your pain

The woman in the black dress

Then the house falls into darkness

All disappears!

I can’t sense you

I’m left in your blood

Your entrails on full display

The horror of what I’ve done

Has overtaken me now!

I feel my tears burst out!

As the happy memories of what we once were

Flood within my mind…

I’ve killed you

Trapped you away

I’m now left here alone…

In agony

Played like a fool

I’m to spend an eternity

Alone here

No sounds of my once sweet kids feet

No memories of your once happy smile…

I sit here alone

Forever now

A sad ghost…

Losing all I hold dear

Rotting away

But,

Most painful of all

Is the fact

I have no one

I’m to sit here

Forever more…

-Forgotten-

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