Entry 265: In The Depths

In the depths far down below

I hear you screaming

Each night, deeper I go

Still you continue pleading

Wishing for hope

I cannot give

The lower I go

The colder it gets

The other night I felt ice upon my face

Still, deeper I went

Your screams grew louder

I lost more of a grip

Upon

My reality

For the closer I get to your final resting place

The sadder I feel internally

For I was the one

Responsible for your fate

Every night diving deeper into this place

I search for an escape

Tonight I dive even further down

The ice is even colder now

I see you there

I pray for change

Knowing it will change nothing

I push even further still

You cold glassy eyes

Stare me in my face

I think to myself

Surely I’ll die this time

Maybe I’ll gain an even worse fate

Then, just as we are about to meet

I awake

The knowledge in my head

That it’s my fault you’re dead

Last night

I swam again

Into that dark place

The one which sealed your fate

It’s the only place I dream of now

Sadly though…

I’ve started the swim over

You’re always so close

I just wish to say sorry

I didn’t mean to run you off the bridge

Nor did I anticipate

Such regret

This is the way it is

Your dead

Clearly in unending pain

I suffer eternal grief

Maybe one day I can find a way

To make right

My mistakes

Another night is upon me now

As my eyes grow dreary

I prepare another dive

…Deep down…

-In The Depths-

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