Entry 155: The Emotion Room: Subject 1

*Loud Buzzer*

*Woman shoots up*

Are you awake, Subject 1?

Wh-what? My name is Sydney!

Are you awake, Subject 1?

Wh-Where am I?! 

……………………….

Are you awake, Subject 1?

Please answer the question

FUCK YOU! WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE AM I?!

Stress elevation noted

Subject 1 is clearly awake

Today Subject 1 we will begin testing

You are in The Emotion Room

You need do nothing, the testing will begin momentarily…

What?! My…NAME….IS SYDN-AAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Subject 1 has fallen to her knees

Appears to be experiencing migraines or some kind of mental break

Noted…

Mom?! Why are you covered in red Mom?

N-NO! NONONONONONO! WHY?!

Tell me you didn’t do it again MOM?! 

You were supposed to be okay!

The doctors said…

*crying*

They said you WERE FINE! 

WHY WOULD YOU KILL YOURSELF?!

I-i-if we hurry….maybe we can stop the bleeding!

HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject 1 appears to be fully encompassed in her memories

Notable emotions: Grief & Helplessness.

Yes, 911! Please send someone right NOW!

My-M….MY MOM HAS SLIT HER WRISTS!

I just got back from school and…I DON’T KNOW WHY SHE’D DO THIS?!

I-I’m not sure where Dad is?

Work, I think.

Y-wait, I, I think I hear something.

OMG! WHY?!!!!!!!!!!

My Dad?! He-What’s he doing home?

HE’S DEAD! HIS FUCKING CHEST IS OPEN AND THERE’S BLOOD AN-

YOU FUCKING STAY CALM!

SEND SOMEONE ALREADY!

*Sobbing uncontrollably*

MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY IS DEAD! I WON’T STAY CALM!

I have……NO ONE! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT?!

I-I just can’t do this…NOT ANYMORE! NO! 

I-I’m going to kill myself…

I’ll do it with knife my Mom used to kill my Dad and then herself…

Goodbye…

*Slice*

*Thud*

O-OH MY FUCKING GOD!

I KILLED MYSELF?!

Mom & Dad…WHY?!

WHY WOULD SHE KILL DAD?!

S-

*Has trouble breathing*

She…

She was fine.

Perfectly fine after a year.

I-I don’t understand this

Why would you show me this?

What is this place?

What’s the purpose?!

I feel faint.

*Passes Out*

*Loud Buzzer*

WHAT?! 

Subject 1, you are experiencing the following:

Grief

Confusion

Trauma

PTSD

Helplessness

How do you feel?

How do I feel?

FUCK YOU! THAT’S HOW!

Anger added to list of emotions

Subject 1, why did you choose suicide?

Wouldn’t you?  I had nothing left to live for?

MY ENTIRE FAMILY WAS DEAD!

I went to school that morning and everything was fine…

I don’t understand why

DO YOU KNOW WHY?!

This is about you Subject 1

Why choose death?

It…it was all too much. I couldn’t process it.

I had nothing left to live for.

Noted.

Subject 1 believed they had nothing left to live for

Now playing future that could have been

Subject 1 would have had

A husband in the next 4 years

Inspired and saved 300 lives through speaking about her families tragedy

A baby boy

An eventual Nobel Prize

Lived to be a healthy 120

Deceased peacefully in sleep

Gone to Heaven

Now noting: Fear, Regret, Sorrow, Realization, Terror At Future Eternity

Subject 1, results will be noted.

Emotional Analysis Complete:

Subject 1 felt she had nothing left to live for

Her 17th Birthday started fine

Coming home, she discovers Mom dying

Suicide

Calls 911

Pleads with them

Hears noise

Late spasm from deceased father

Father dead

Hope lost

Suicide by knife

Notable:

Subject 1 had no other living family

Likely would have wound up in foster care

Would have met future husband in system

Subject 1 had no way of knowing future

Suicides typically transfer to lower level facility

Transfer Recommendation:

Hell

-The Emotion Room: Subject 1-

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Entry 155: The Emotion Room: Subject 1

  1. Compelling and very powerful. You didn’t decorate or judge anything at the beginning, Left the reader to go through the journey with all its mix emotions til the end. Complete circle that we don’t have the chance to see while we are in our present life. Only faith get us to endure difficulties and trial with the hope of a better future…here or hereafter. Good work, and great message.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for taking the time to read and for your thoughts. I really just like to let people interpret things as they wish to with the poems I write.

      I’m grateful when people read something and get something from it though. Even if it is simply a temporary escape. I think that storytelling is beautiful because it gives people so much! ^_^

      I am truly grateful for your time and I hope you have an amazing week! ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

    • Well, it impacted me quite a bit writing it. I’m glad you enjoyed it and I’m super happy to hear from you! ^_^

      I hope when I write things to make people feel like they are there (generally). If I can connect with the reader on that kind of level, I am quite happy.

      Thank you so much for taking the time to read! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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