Entry 138: The Clocktower: Madness & Memories

I saw Ren enter the room

I got so excited…I didn’t even think

I rushed forth with open arms

REN! YOU’RE ALI-

Oof!

I felt the impact to the gut

I was left breathless, I fell to my knees

It wasn’t the punch that hurt me most

It was the idea that Ren just hit me

That meant something wasn’t right…

This man was the one I held out for

He’s the reason I held on through all the torture

The single motivation for my continuing to barely not break…

This couldn’t be happening?

*Crash*

My body ached as it bounced off the wall

I’m in shock!

I see his eyes because he pulls my chin up

He looks crazed right before he punches me in the face

I fall to the floor, I barely have time to spit out some blood…

Before…

He begins to wail on my face with his fists!

A slap here, a back hand there…sometimes he just punches me

Hit…I begin to think of him as he was before

Smack, I can’t fight back…I won’t

Pound…I feel my head bounce of the ground…

I begin to think back…to all the beautiful memories we had

The time spent talking to him

He always listened, he hugged me when I cried

I’m quite sure he thought I was friend zoning him at one time

Truth be told I was afraid, however…

I secretly was falling in love with that man

I am so sorry Ren

I’m sorry I kept these thoughts to myself

That I foolishly went head first after that kid into this place

I should’ve known you’d come after me

I was pretty sure I saw the signs back then

Punch, I’m bleeding and bruised

The monster inside Ren’s body pins me by the throat against a wall

He punches me again, starts choking me…

I can’t look him in the eyes

What did they do to you Ren?

What did they do to make you so angry?

To turn you against me?

I’m pondering these thoughts when he just holds me there and stops punching

WHAT?! YOU CAN’T LOOK AT ME YOU STUPID BITCH?!

I won’t lie to myself…that one cut deep

This isn’t my Ren…

Are you still in there, I wonder?

He throws me against the table

I’m pretty sure I know what is going to happen next…

I won’t let that happen…not with this monster…

I throw an elbow back and knock him in the eye

He staggers, and I spin and hit him in the gut

I hope you understand this hurts me too Ren…I think to myself…

Then I find my voice again…

I WON’T LET ANOTHER MONSTER RAPE ME AGAIN!

Least of all whatever they have turned you into…

Monster…MONSTER?!

YOU’RE THE FUCKING MONSTER!

YOU ARE A SPECIAL KIND OF FUCKED UP!

Taking a beating, probably enjoying it…

IS THIS SOME FUCKED UP GAME TO YOU?!

YOU MURDERED MY FAMILY YOU BITCH!

I’ll admit, I was taken by surprise with this…

He got a pretty good hit to my face as a result

I staggered but dodged the next…

Then I flipped him on his back…

Pinned him to the ground…

I tried talking to him again…

Ren, is that what you believe?

He squirms, attempting to break free of my hold

He won’t…not until I get through to him

You’ve got nothing to say then?

Fine…

Listen to the truth then

There was a man who came into a place worse than hell

He came after me, on a mere whim

He was likely concerned about my well being at one point…

Then this place got to him

The Clocktower broke him

It’s an evil thing…it breaks people, twists their emotions

The Clocktower reads you like an open book

It’s persistent

I apologize to you Ren

You know this place…it has put me through unimaginable pain

I have endured unending suffering

The stories about this place really don’t do justice to it

It is an evil beyond what words could explain

I brought you here…and for that I’m sorry again

You should know Ren…the real you

That’s the man I held out hope for

Every time I was on the edge of breaking…

I thought of you

You’re my strength now as you were then…

Please remember who you are because…

*Crying*

If you’re truly gone…

There is nothing left for me…

I suppose I should just tell you the truth…

Maybe that will bring you back to me?

I kissed Ren…right there and then

I felt myself hoping that this would turn beast to man again…

Some part of him had to come back to me…if there was any of him there still

His lips were sweet…

I broke her grasp, I threw her off of me

I wanted to beat her until she was nothing but blood and pulp…

Still, something inside of me was fighting this

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?!

I walked over, ready to cave in that face…

However, as I went to lift a fist

Gazing at her naked, scarred, bruised…bleeding body

I was hit with a flood of memories…

It happened in flashes

I felt like my head was going to split as I fell to my knees

Is she telling the truth…or is she lying to me?

There she was in my memories…the first time we met

The friend zoning…

Long conversations we had…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Crying*

Sara?

She came closer now…

SMACK! I backhanded her! I couldn’t stop myself…what was happening to me?!

I’m sorry Sara! I don’t know what’s happening!Β 

I DON’T HAVE CONTROL OVER MYSELF!

I got up, licked the blood from my lips

Was he telling the truth?

I believe he was…I can look into his eyes and see Ren again…

He’s terrified as he comes for me but we will find a way through this

I see Ren again…the real him…despite the actions he’s taking…

That’s all the hope I need…

He takes me by surprise, he is way stronger than before!

Something definitely isn’t right

He slams a knee into my face as I claw him in the eye and he writhes in pain!

I have to survive, but I can’t let him die either…

Ren quickly comes back for me and he is too quick

I feel myself lifted off the ground…and soon…

I’m taken across the room before being slammed on the table

I can’t fight him as he gets on top of me…

Please…not this again…I have to get through to him…

If I don’t, he will do something he’ll truly never forgive

I’m quite sure we’d both be broken then…

REN! FIGHT IT!

I can see him trying…

YOU DON’T WANT TO DO THIS!

IT’S THE DAMN CLOCKTOWER!

THEY ARE DOING TO YOU WHAT THEY DID TO ME!

DON’T LET THEM!

I can feel him fighting this…

I know he can do it…

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember something as I desperately fought…

The happy memories we shared yes but…something else…

When I snapped back on The Clocktower back then…

I was able to harm the representation in that room

Through rage…however…I let it consume me

It was apparent back then and was becoming more apparent now

If I channeled that suffering, it could have a powerful effect in this place

It was the only time I was able to truly harm something in this place

I WON’T HURT HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I felt something snap…I had control of myself again…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

I got off of Sara and helped her up…

The maddening laughter…it came from the walls

It haunted us!

Something was very wrong…

-The Clocktower: Madness & Memories-

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7 thoughts on “Entry 138: The Clocktower: Madness & Memories

    • Aww, thank you! ^_^

      I hope I didn’t disappoint with the latest Entry. It should be fairly noted that the remainder of the final Entries are going to be very battle heavy.

      Also, hopefully more cohesive than today’s entry. It’s all a blur, so much coffee! Xp

      Like

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