Entry 132: The Clocktower: Reflection

I wandered for hours

Having finally escaped

I pondered what might be next for me?

This place gave me scars of all kinds

I bore the obvious physical scars

Deeper though were the ones I bore in my mind

Deepest were the ones in my soul

I’d done some sick things to get out of that place

That woman reminding me of the worst of my memories

The Clocktower had reset every hour and things shifted

Still, everything was quiet…too quiet I thought to myself

There was no haunting voices

No psycho trying to murder me

It was just endless wandering

I had too much time to reflect

What had I become in this place?

Reset

The Clocktower shifted and this time

There was a bridge that led to a platform

So I continued along my path

The moment I crossed the bridge

Like glass, it shattered behind me

The platform was circular

Below me lit up white flames inside a case

It was a clock I stood on

All black

It read 12

Welcome Ren

It is time we learn your true motivations

The voice was dark but there was no one there

Perhaps it was The Clocktower itself

If so though…why was it not taunting me as before?

Are you proud of your actions thus far?

No, I said looking away

I did what I felt necessary…

The dial below my feet seemed to be keeping track of time

Perhaps until the next reset?

It read 12:05

The platform raised

Would you say you are a good soul?

I’m not sure I can judge such a thing

I’d like to think so…but then again

Do men of war see themselves as villains?

I believe they see themselves as hero’s

Even if they are evil at heart

The platform raised again before coming to a stop

The Kid you sent to eternal torment

Do you believe you did the right thing?

I’m not even sure how to answer that.

I obviously didn’t think it right

Then again, it was about survival right?

He seemed very eager to off me

Probably thinking about his own motivations

Not unlike myself…

I didn’t want it to end like that…

I meant well but you know how that goes…

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions…

I thought maybe there would be a way to move forward

Perhaps a way to release their souls in the end

I’d like to do so, should I survive this

Then again…I’m starting to think that won’t be something I can do…

The platform began its ascent again…this time it didn’t stop

If there was a way to escape…would you give up the other souls to do so?

I’d love to say I’d take their place…

But I’ve done some things as of late that make me question myself

Am I the soul I thought I was…or am I just another monster in this place?

There is definitely darkness inside of me

As with the Kid…it usually comes out when it becomes about survival

So, I have every intention of saying yes…I’d take there place

That is what I’d do

However, I won’t truly know unless I get to that point…

…I guess

Do you enjoy inflicting suffering on others?

Not really…but I’m aware some part of me likes it

Some part of me enjoys inflicting suffering upon

Those who do the same to others

Still that is enjoyment in another’s suffering so if we are going

Straight yes or no…then yes

That’s hard to say, but I’m learning not to lie to myself anymore

I would hope my motivations would be considered…

If you had a chance at true vengeance with your Uncle

or

Freedom from this place…could you forgive him in order to ensure

Your escape?

I felt a flood of memories…

My blood boiled at the thought

I grit my teeth without even realizing it

WHAT HE DID IS UNFORGIVABLE!

I’LL NEVER FORGIVE HIM!

What if another’s freedom were on the line instead…

Say Sara’s or The Kid’s?

I felt myself gasp in shock

The question threw me off…

I’d like to say I would…but…no promises

Very well…continue your ascent

The platform raised and the voice faded

I was left with only my thoughts as the platform stopped

What had I become?

Was I truly a monster?

I continued across another bridge

A huge door stood before me

It had screaming faces etched into it

Above it read:

Seek help from beyond

I wasn’t sure what that meant but seeing as there was no way in

I turned and went up a staircase to the right of it

-The Clocktower: Reflection-

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Entry 132: The Clocktower: Reflection

  1. Great entry. I can see I need to go back and read some of the posts I missed! So much has happened here at the Clocktower since I’ve been away, and time waits for no man it seems.

    On a side note: I was picturing Kratos from God of War ascending on a platform while reading this. Not so much the character or the context, but the platform mechanism itself and the sounds associated with it. I can’t remember which one (I think 4), but you are on this platform and it starts rising. It stops like five times and each time you fight progressively harder enemies. If you fail at any point, you start at the very bottom again. I remember having to do this multiple times before I finally accomplished the feat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • If that’s the challenge thing you speak of I totally feel you! That was brutal! I remember trying that quite a few times before getting to that point where I overcame the challenges.

      Yes, I haven’t gone back and read anything I’ve written just yet when it comes to The Clocktower but, a lot has definitely happened. No worries Corey! ^_^ The Entry’s will be there when you have time lol. Just because the Clocktower only stays through October, that doesn’t mean the Entry’s about it will! Xp

      Liked by 1 person

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