Entry 83: Things Heard In The Static #4: I Am Fear

Do you feel that?

That lovely feeling of dread

I creep up inside your head

You look out your door

What is that noise?

No one is there

Still, uneasy is how you feel

Smiling I watch, closer than you think

That slow desperate anxiety is beginning to overtake your mind

I creep closer still

The sun is beginning to disappear

Setting behind the skyline much like your inner peace

Here I am I whisper in your soul

A blackening darkness you can’t control

Try as you might the more you struggle and fight

The tighter my grip gets on what is left of the sanity in your mind

You fight me every second of every day

You tire of this invisible fight no one sees

I’m getting stronger now, you are beginning to lose control

Soon…

I’LL RIP YOU APART FROM WITHIN!

Yes, feed me with your every thought

After all, I am everything you fear because I’m fear itself

I turn everything into something that will potentially kill you

All the pent up anxiety and panic attacks

Oh no, you are struggling to breathe

The very sound of anything at night is one step away from triggering your PTSD!

I’ll just wait and relish as I bring you closer to insanity!

Every waking moment of your life, an endless fight that no one will empathize with

No one will see

Till one day you snap and fall into complete insanity!

I love you, and I’m your best friend

When you are all alone in the insane asylum

In the end…

…I will be the only one to keep you company…

-Things Heard In The Static #4: I Am Fear-

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11 thoughts on “Entry 83: Things Heard In The Static #4: I Am Fear

  1. Fear is a compelling friend! I no longer keep him at bay since he never wants to leave. πŸ™‚ I felt a thrill reading your poetry! You captured Fear so well — he does creep closer as the light fades. Excellent.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Heh, thank you. I agree, fear isn’t going to disappear. I’ve tried to fight it but it is like you are stuck with me buddy. I’m glad you can relate and I appreciate your kind words. I may have lost it a bit yesterday. The Fear Entry was one I’d wanted to write for a bit. I partially wrote it as therapy as to what I was feeling in that moment, and what I deal with frequently, (and know) many other people deal with.

      It was the reason I’d made it another Things Heard In The Static one because those Entry’s don’t always deal directly with Black Winter even if they have a connection. That was my 3rd post yesterday if you include Entry 82, and then the 3rd episode of Happy! Happy! Fun Time, which is series I run weekly on my 2nd blog. So, I feel I may have over posted.

      I posted Episode 3 of Happy! Happy! Fun Time! First which although had its humorous moments as it is partially comedy kind of was much bleaker than usual. I love how the episode turned out, but I felt emotionally, mentally and physically drained after writing the episode due to the subject matter, how close to home it hit in some ways, and well I didn’t intend on it initially being so bleak. I found myself hoping for the best as the characters were (You’ll understand if you ever read the episode, oh and I swear my rambling is going somewhere).

      So when I finished that and went to Entry 82 on my main blog, I got what I felt was an decent start to a new series of poetry within the Black Winter story if you will, (however it was lacking a bit, and I wasn’t the happiest with it myself). Then as the sun was setting, Entry 83 was like you need to finally fucking write me and no you can’t wait till Sunday to do so! Yeah, voices and all. So I went for it and was much more pleased for it. I crashed immediately after from exhaustion. Anyways, debating if Sunday should be a day of rest in the future or if I should keep the 7 day a week schedule?

      Liked by 2 people

      • Isn’t wonderful to write and see that people are reading your work? You’re getting great response from readers! When I first started last year, I didn’t receive nearly as many people reading or commenting as you are. Here’s an advice I’ve received from other bloggers regarding how often to post: Remember that your readers also have their own lives and other blogs to visit, so it’s a good thing to give them a breather. You want your poems remembered and read carefully, but if you’re posting more than once a day, that may not give folks enough time to really let each poem sink in. You may also lose some readers who don’t have the time to visit your blog more than once a day.

        Take advantage of your draft bin. Matt let me know how handy those are since you may have the energy to write a lot one day, but not so much the next. Save those other poems when you’re rushed for time, on vacation, sick, etc. Stock up on your drafts, because you’ll be glad you did when you aren’t able to write for whatever reason.

        Save Sunday for your family. You also work, so believe me, they’ll be very happy to have your undivided attention at least one or two days a week.

        If you have further questions, don’t hesitate to email me: yayrperez@yahoo.com

        All the best! xo

        Liked by 1 person

      • It is nice seeing souls read and comment and I agree, posting less is best. Generally I keep to that rule. I’ll post at most once here on the main blog and once on the 2nd blog a day. I will (try) to reserve Sunday’s as my day to just chill.

        Usually that is the day I catch up on others works I haven’t read yet, comment, etc. So I think I will do that. I didn’t even think about drafts which ironically makes feel quite daft! Xp Thanks for that. You are right, I could totally just make a draft and save it for later. Derp moment for me but thank you for clearing that up. For whatever reason I never thought of that.

        Thank you for listening to my rambling. I appreciate it! πŸ™‚ I would have just emailed a lot of what I replied but I don’t like harassing people by email and I’m generally open with my thoughts and feelings in regards to the blogs. I’m lucky, we all are really. I mean, we have this wonderful space to express ourselves. It really is awesome.

        Thank you again! No worries, my wife just made the most wonderful mix of Blackberry Brandy, Cranberry Juice, and Lime, which (for the moment at least) is helping take the edge off my usual paranoia at these hours. Thank you for reading and responding and for the sharing the wonderful insight you were given in the past about drafts.

        Cheers! ^_^

        Liked by 2 people

    • P.S.- I crashed of exhaustion from writing is basically what happened. I don’t mean because I wrote too much, but for whatever reason some of the things I wrote yesterday just really took a toll on me. I don’t know if that makes sense considering I write dark all the time but anywho…

      Here I am now. Thanks so much! I’m still seriously debating if I should use Sunday from now on as a day to rest. It was a pretty crazy week and I’ve been debating if 7 days a week is a bit excessive anyways. Curious your thoughts? Part of the problem is I think to myself or say yeah I’ll use Sunday to chill, but then be it my need to write, or other forces I will quite literally feel compelled to write something. It will literally consume my being, giving me headaches, draining me anyways, and haunting my waking seconds of life and sleeping ones when I get them until I post what is being screamed or told in my mind.

      When I say I feel possessed when writing I am not kidding. Funny side story, my son was asking my wife last night if she saw the white ghost in our room last night. Xp He uses color descriptors because he is at that age but essentially I’m sure he just meant ghost because it happened to look white in all its spectral being. Xp

      Thank you for reading again and sorry for the super long replies.

      Cheers! ^_^

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yikes! That ghost remark from your son made my hair, on the back of my neck, stand straight up.

        I think I addressed most of your questions about posting in my earlier comment, but again, you have my email. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      • No worries on the ghost thing. It’s not a crazy occurrence or anything. I just found it a funny aside and kind of felt bad for the wife as she texted me that last night when I was at a buddy’s hanging out, watching football etc.

        Thanks again for your thorough reply. ^_^

        Liked by 1 person

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