Entry 54: The Mad Writers Journal #1: Say Hello To The Madness Within

Do you understand madness?

Do you understand pain?

Do you understand the unending need

The clawing at ones soul?

That incessant whispering in your ear?

I hear them every waking second

I hear them in my dreams

I quite often hear them constantly saying so many things

It is maddening, it is quite often what brings insomnia my way

Do you truly understand what I say?

They never stop talking!

The voices in my head

I write their needs

I write what they plead

I don’t plan any of it out

They tell me everything I need to know

They tell me trust them

People will come

They will read the madness in your words

They will feel the insanity gripping at your mind

People love good madness they say

They love a great story

They claim to love the happy ending

However…

Quite often you see

Secretly…

Some dark part of them

Loves the guts, loves the gore

Loves it when it ends so bleak

So they tell me

I ask them to give me a break

I promise I’ll tell as many of their stories as I can

I just need one day with which not to write

One night of peaceful rest

NO! They say…

I feel them in my soul

Surrounding me like a swarm

Telling me their maddening crimes

The sins of their past

Those they left behind

Every time I think to stop

I hear them there

Keep writing they say

Tell our stories and let the world see and judge us for what we are

What we have become

So I write, write and write some more

Every post I make

They whisper in my ear

Excellent…

Now write some more

The times are far worse when the voices do fall silent

It is then my muse (or so she calls herself) begins to speak

Oh the things she tells me are far worse

Far more violent

Simultaneously she will tell me the worst most vile filth!

Then in the same sentence she speaks pure bliss

In some sick, twisted way I find myself bound to her and her to me

She is telling me to say nothing more of her for the time being

Claiming the world is not ready to hear her story

So it is I must end this poem

Eternally writing the stories of others

Never truly alone

Now that you have had a mere glimpse of the madness within

Do you really still want to know more?

More about me, more about them, more about the one

The maker of nightmares

Sweeter than the sweetest sins

My muse?

-The Mad Writers Journal: #1: Say Hello To The Madness Within-

Entry 53: Victims Of The Night #1: Twisted Lips & Sweet Pleasure

I’ve seen her in my dreams

She stalks me silently

Engaging me all night

Bringing me pleasures as I sleep

Pain as I awake realizing

She isn’t there

That blonde haired, blue eyed vixen

She truly has me smitten

I know she isn’t good

She is slowly killing me inside

However I can’t hide my attraction to her

She rides me just right

Whisper into my ear

Everything I want to hear

How could I say no to her?

She tells me it will be okay

We will be together soon

Away from all the struggles of life

Away from the responsibility of watching over my wife and child

Away from the daily grind

She tells me lies

Says these things hold me down

I know better but inside I believe her

Why?

She is my drug

She is my release from pain

She is pure pleasure

She is everything

Between sweat stained sheets

We greet one another night after night

Our secret place

Hidden in dreams

No one will see my sin

I worship her perfect body

I call her my God

I know better than this

I go to church

I have a family

I feel so perfect in her arms

I grope her beautiful ass

I try to focus on my morals

I can’t, I’m slowly dying

I feel her feeding on my soul

She tells me tonight is the night

She says we will be together forever

Lets meet in our place in your mind

We will leave all your problems behind

It will be me and you forever baby

You will see

It is going to be perfect ecstasy.

I’ve lost all control now

I will go

I will give her what is left of my soul

Before it happens though

I must confess, give you warning

Beware of demons of the night

The ones that prey on your pleasures

Your sins

If you do not take heed…

Slowly your soul will bleed

Consumed like mine

Temporary ecstasy in trade

For an eternity of torment

Enslaved

You will be just another victim of the night

-Victims Of The Night: #1: Twisted Lips & Sweet Pleasure-

 

Entry 52: Things Heard In The Static #3: Hates Song

DEATH! DESTRUCTION! FEAR! PAIN!

I will give you everything.

You will fight one another, until you fall

The fear leaving you entrapped

Keeping you fighting until you are dying

Fuel for your pain

Never once seeing the true aim of my game

You will fall before my war machine

You will call one another so many hateful names

Death and dying are part of who I am

I’LL BRING YOUR DESTRUCTION!

I’ll BRING YOUR PAIN!

YOU’LL BEG ME FOR MERCY!

*whispers* I’ll bring you…

MISERY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go ahead call my name

Give me your everything

Tell me what you hate

Tell me what you fear

Let me use it to destroy you from within!

You see baby I have one aim

You will play my game

Like a puppet I will pull your strings

Whispering sweet nothings about your pain

Come to me

Beg me for more

WORSHIP ME YOU WAR MONGERING WHORE!

I will give you what you seek

Just continue to feed into me

Suck my tits, full of hate

Destroy the world you have made!

I’m calling you, I want to see the madness within

YOUR HATE!

Give into me, together you will see

You will have power,

You will be a king or Queen

You will rule from a pile of bones

YOU WILL HAVE EVERYTHING!

-Things Heard In The Static: #3: Hates Song-

 

Entry 51: Black Winter Radio News: Update 3

<Radio crackles in>

Breaking News!

2 more victims were found today in Black Winter of what many have dubbed The Ghost. The killer of course already has murdered 12. It also appears a detective and the chief of police are now missing, having never reported back in after going after a lead.

The victims names:

Sara BlackWell (32)

&

Emily Winters (9)

Sara was found in a shallow grave and was believed to have been the originator of the dot code, while Emily was found in a church. Lucy Wells is still at large, and no body has been found as of yet. She is the only remaining known missing person in connection with the case outside of a detective and the police chief himself. 

The case was broke open when a tipster broke the code and told all. The whereabouts of said tipster are unknown at this time as is how they broke the code.

Quoted one officer Higgins: “Yeah, this crazy old nut came up and told us everything and then left without sticking around to see if we had any other questions. The moment she left the station, she simply vanished!”

We will keep you up to date on the latest as we le-

<Radio Cuts out>

Entry 50: Ol Renny #1: I’m The Greatest Bitch This World Ever Done Seen!

I’ve lived so long

Seen many things

Most call me the woman in white

However don’t confuse me with an old urban legend

I don’t vanish, nor do I hitchhike.

No, ol’ Renny don’t do none of that shit!

What?

There are too many fucking psychos out in Black Winter.

Have you learned nothing about this town?

Excuse me…where are my manners

I’m a sweet ol gal if you get to know me.

Really.

You can trust me.

When has an old lady every done anything evil?

Anyways, while you think of an answer to that I want to warn you of something.

No doubt you be hearing of this Man In Black lately…

He is no man. Fuckers around here read too many books and are going to get you confused and shit!

Devil in Black would be a more apt description

This isn’t some one from a storybook

I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

The answer to the dot code.

Would you like that?

The answer is

.A .x2=B and so on.  Every space is a new letter.

Don’t say ol Renny never did you any good.

Doubt that Sinister is going to appreciate my gabbing.

That is the only answer you are going to get out of Renny though

I don’t flap my gums for everyone.

I will let you do all the digging in older entries to find out what everything says.

It won’t seem like much, but it is important.

Oh, and if you see that ol Devil in Black

Tell him ol Renny kindly says fuck off!

He will get what I am speaking of.

Till next time. I think Sinister is aware I’m hijacking shit!

-Ol Renny #1: I’m the greatest bitch this world ever done seen-

P.S.- Yes, I titled that myself.  ðŸ˜‰

P.P.S.- I chose the image too. Why? I’m a classy bitch that’s why! I mean…I’m a sweet old lady, with an edge!

 

Entry 49: Song Of Warning: The Man In Black

Dark are the days

Darker are the nights

Here in Black Winter

None here your plights

Say your prayers

Try and appease your God

It will all end the same

There is no hope

For those who sin

If you want any hope

Then…

Listen close

Listen well

Learn from past mistakes

Be aware of the goings on of this town

Pray…

One last thing

Beware The Man In Black

There are many dangers found in this town

None however…

Compare to him

Constantly wandering between the living and the dead

Charismatically taking every soul he can get

Yes…

Beware The Man In Black

So well versed in words and sin

This man can make you believe lie is truth

Truth is lie

Every thing ends with him

Heed our warning and maybe you too

Can avoid this man stealing your soul

Leaving you eternally lost

Beware The Man In Black

He comes for all

He will come for you too

-Songs Of Warning: The Man In Black-

Entry 48: Sin & Consequence

If I told you I could absolve you of sin

That I could set you on the right path again

Would you believe me?

If I heard your confession

Told you to say your hailmarys and you are forgiven

Would you be thankful?

Say I heard you say that you murdered someone today

Do you think I would keep it a secret?

There is so much filth and sin I think it likely you would never tell me

Instead, you would likely continue to ruminate in your sins

Enjoying your pleasures, swearing you are more powerful than God

Assuming you believe in some great deity…

Excuse me now, I must confess to something of my own

I served my God for so long and yet here I am

He cast me in this cess pit of sin

I swore my life to him

Gave up all things fleshly and sin

I repented of all my past wrongs

I was bathed in the spirit of God

I became a priest

Yet this is what he has done to me?

If you hear my confession could you point me in the direction

Of someone more deserving than me?

Why am I here and not in heaven?

Silence…

An organ begins to play…In its notes there are whispers, perhaps a demon?

Priest, if you would please

You are so full of shit!

You are a liar!

Masquerading as a man of faith

You claim to be wronged by God

Like you have somehow been robbed

I think we both know, why you sit here and not behind those pearly gates

SILENCE! Listen here demon

I will not tolerate your lies,

Your slanderous cries

Your DECEIT!

I am a man of God

I have done no wrong

In which to deserve this fate!

Heh…heh…heh…

My voice is vicious 

I bathe in Sin

I love fear, lies, hate

I laugh when people are dealt a shit fate!

Still…listen closely…

I know and love what I am…

I don’t sit and cry wondering why I’m not in heaven

All the while ignoring my sin

Like young Kara, who you fucked

In the very waters you claim redeemed you to your Heavenly Father!

No! Lies! I never desecrated this most sacred place!

I would never do something so unholy

In a place of power, a place of peace…A pl-

PLACE WHERE YOU ASKED QUITE MANY TO GET DOWN ON THEIR KNEES!

You loved the feel of committing such a deadly sin

The rush you felt to then claim you were a holy man!

Oh what a beautiful farce!

SHUT UP! I’m sick of your lies!

You loved her cries, her screams of ecstasy!

No! I-

Placed your faith between her knees

Howling as she screamed in pleasure

A bliss beyond measure!

I pray in the lords name please banish this foul demon from

This holy place, rid this man who abuses his power

This waste of faith
I pray for faith

Send him straight to hell!
I need your strength!

Please God end his suffering
Please God end my suffering

Rid the world of this evil!
Rid the world of this evil!

Kill this false prophet where he stands!
Kill this demon where he stands!

In Jesus name I pray (hiss!) AMEN!
In Jesus name I pray AMEN!

Silence…all music stops…is the demon gone?

A new voice, so charismatic and smooth now echoes through the room…

Oh priest…please he heard not your words

How do you expect to be redeemed or show you even deserve this 2nd chance

When you can’t even be honest about what you have done?

I know your sin runs much deeper than this

Despite my overzealous servants hate

He isn’t wrong, you are a flawed man who presently is being given a better fate

A chance you don’t deserve

But don’t worry…I’ll wait…

Soon you will be home

A place quite warm

I assure you there is plenty of room

For sinners like you…

A twisted smile appears on this mans face, His black stained teeth tell the priest everything…

Why God? Why have you forsaken me?

I’m sorry for any wrong I have done but these are lies at best!

The man in black lights a cigarette…

Please! I am on my knees, begging you for reprieve!

A great irony indeed…

God, get rid of this man in black

I banish you back to Hell!

I invoke Christs name!

I expel you from this holy place

IN JESUS HOLY NAME I PRAY!

AMEN!!!!!!!

You can’t invoke power in a holy place when you sin day after day

I think your prayer might have tickled a bit but I’m not quite sure you understand

Just who you are dealing with.

Know this Harlocke, listen well, I have witnessed all I need to see…

It won’t be today

You won’t know the hour

But…

Someday soon, I will come back for you!

When next we meet, your soul will be my meat!

Until then I say goodbye, rest well on your pillow of lies

Listen to the sweet serenade of the clock

Counting down the days till your eternity of pain!

The man in black disappears leaving the priest in silence…

The priest too terrified to speak, listens as those departing words resonate in his mind…

Fear grips him as he knows inside…

The man in black was right…he’d been lying this entire time…

-Sin & Consequence-

 

 

Entry 47: Thoughts Of Night Watchman 12: #1

It starts as a flickering of the lights

Then the rattling of the pans in the rack

A cabinet door briefly swung open

Did I leave that open

I’m not sure

Late at night

What’s that sound?

Come now imagination

Don’t run wild now

I’ve only just started my shift

I have a long night ahead.

They say this mansion is wrought

Full of things that will leave a soul distraught

Sometimes the owner will ask me to do odd things

Take out the trash

But what is in these bags?

There is so much red goo

Things drip and they ooze

Oh well, best not to ask questions

Best to leave well enough alone

I’m being paid $20hr

Getting full time

Benefits

Retirement

Best not to ask any questions

Just do my job and get through each night

Wait until I see the distant light of the sun

Rising up into the sky

Then I’m free

Until it sets and it begins again

Never seen the master of this manor

Wonder why?

Only ever leaves notes, and a comprehensive list

Of all the things I need to do before the night is through

Best to keep to myself

Lest I lose my job like everyone else

Fired I hear they were

A few quit

Strange though no one ever had contact with them when they were through

They all did the same job I do

So what happened when they were fired or quit?

Never mind,

It is best I just forget…

-Thoughts Of Night Watchman 12: #1-

Entry 46: SinisterStoryTime #3: Suicide & Tragedy

Hey there souls. If you have a moment I have a story I want to share with you all. If ever a soul should come upon this they should know the truth of things. I bet a lot of you are expecting that odd soul sinister to be telling this entry but no, not this time. I mean he is typing it to be sure, I’m narrating it to him in a sense.

There won’t be any dark whimsical rhymes, or twisted wordplay in this one. I will let him label this another “SinisterStoryTime” if you will, but I felt the story would be much more impactful if it came from me. Before I wound up in Black Winter I was just a 19 year old kid, fresh off of graduating HS barely a year before. I lived in a small town, Mt. Carmel, IL. (Look it up, it is a real place). Oddly hard to find though.

So, anyways, you should know I hit an old “Suicide Bridge”. It is a paranormal phenomena. Not sure how many know about it, but I went there to investigate the legends behind it.

A mistake I would later learn.

I have always had a sense of the dead. They used to come to me, I would talk with them. Funny considering all things now. I had dreams after my investigation of the bridge. The dreams were of the old bridge, and often I would see someone dying there. Always a suicide, (hell, it is in the name right?) but once I dreamt of this bridge and saw a man. He was the most repugnant and vile looking thing I had ever come across.

He was mostly a shadow, he had red glowing eyes, (the kind of things your siblings would tell you in a horror story meant to scare you) he had many features akin to that sort of thing. It is going to seem like I’m rambling, (partially I am) however everything I’m telling you is very important to my story. This thing (seemed a demon if I ever saw one, and I have a few times) had such a dark energy about it. It was so vile if you were around it you felt yourself drained, as though it was taking your life and very soul from your body.

I remember that feeling so clearly. There is a lot you don’t know and you forget once you wind up in Black Winter, but this was impossible to forget. This was something the likes very few ever feel unless (I imagine) they are sent to hell. I awoke from that dream that night, having seen no one die this time, but feeling as though I was marked.

There is no feeling quite like feeling like you are destined to die. You do things trying to change it. It changes nothing. That morning I woke up, got ready to go to work at the local burger joint. You know it’s name, I just won’t mention it here as it’s rather unimportant. It was about halfway through my shift I saw him, in the corner near a trash can just leering at me. I felt the darkness, I grew cold, I turned pale, and a cold sweat over took me.

I had to be dreaming right?

The sense of dread, dying, fear, my soul, scrambling to CLING TO IT! TO CLING TO LIFE! It smiled, it was then I saw its black stained, razor sharp teeth. Everything went black, I awoke later in a hospital, a girl Natalie (My secret crush) standing next to me. I thought I might be dead because I didn’t know she knew I existed. If this was death it was an oddly warm feeling. There she stood, holding my hand, her beautiful face riddled with concern for me.

I don’t know that I deserved the concern, or that I liked it gracing such an Angels face. I asked her if I was dead, and she smiled, kissing my hand and assuring me I wasn’t. She had food for me, but she said it had to wait because she wanted to tell me something. I looked confused, half from the drugs I think I’d been given, when she simply knelt down and kissed me. I was enraptured with such an amazing feeling. Time stood still, she was everything I’d ever dreamed and more.

We talked after this, as I ate. She told me she had always been too nervous to talk to me, so she never had but after everything that happened she wanted to let me know how she felt. It was at this point I felt I could really be dead but my racing heart and my sudden hard on told me otherwise.

Can the dead get hard?

Alright smartasses, I’m not talking rigormortis either. At any rate, she stayed with me in the hospital until my release. The doctors had no explanation for what had happened. I had no clots, no perceivable thing wrong with me. They released me and chalked it up to stress. They told me to take it easy. They gave me some meds. I did take it easy in a way. I remember leaving the hospital, the horrible feeling I felt as I left though almost put me back into the place.

I felt that thing again. As Natalie helped me to my car, she took my keys and offered to drive. She lived close by and figured she would just drive me home. (You have to understand this is a very small town. She could easily walk back home.) I got in the passengers side of the car and turned and saw it, just staring at me. A crooked, twisted smile graced its lips as we pulled away. I felt sick but as we got further away I started to feel myself again.

I got home and was going to relax when Natalie asked if she could come inside. I told her yes. She smiled, and came in. She took me to my room and made sure I was in bed. She stayed and we watched a highly engaging political drama on a highly popular streaming site. (I’ll give you this one, House Of Cards on Netflix).

Natalie stayed for a long time that night. She gave me her number, kissed me goodbye, and promised she would come in and check on me as soon as morning came. That night I slept hard…but then I also had the most disturbing nightmare. I saw the bridge again. I saw the shadow that walked it. I saw a girl, her pony tail, mixed skin, her beautiful blue eyes. I saw her looking at me. It was Natalie!

She smiled, mouthed something I couldn’t understand and then jumped from the bridge, far below, into the path of an oncoming all black train. I had never seen a train like it before. I remember looking over the bridge, seeing her just as the train hit her. A bug on a windshield would be an apt description. I freaked and awoke screaming her name only to feel an idiot when I realized it was 11 in the afternoon and someone was pounding on my door.

I got out of the bed and checked the door. It was Natalie, beautiful as ever. She looked concerned. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about my dream, so I just told her I had a nightmare and it was probably a result of the meds I was given to help with my “stress”. She smiled and we talked. She suggested we watch something light hearted today so we marathoned Scrubs and laughed the day and our problems away. It was a beautiful day even though it was raining all of it.

Before she left I told Natalie if she ever needed in I had a spare key she could take hidden behind the mail box outside my door.  She seemed happy with this and came back and kissed me. I thought things might go further, and they probably would have had I not opened my eyes in the middle of a long kiss goodnight to see that thing staring at me from the corner, smiling all the way. Natalie and I stopped kissing, and she asked what was the matter?

I told her I’m sorry and I was feeling ill again. She looked at me with concern in her eyes again and asked if I needed to go to the hospital? I told her no, I just needed some water. She smiled, and went to get me some water. It was then I noticed the feeling again, it was practically consuming me.  It felt like my soul was leaving my body, and seconds later it started to alleviate. I was thankful for this thinking the thing must be leaving or gone but that is when I noticed the thing was not gone but was following Natalie into the kitchen.

I felt hopeless like I had never felt in my life before. I heard Natalie filling up water as she talked on her cell phone. I could hear her making an appointment for me at the hospital. She came back into the room and the thing wasn’t with her as she told me she had setup an appointment for tomorrow at 7 in the morning. She handed me water, and also showed me she had grabbed the spare key. It was then she told me to get some rest and she would be here for me bright and early.

A kiss (such a beautiful feeling people often take for granted until it’s too late) was what she left me with. Then she headed to leave, and it was then the thing appeared again. It smiled at me, and then followed her. I reached out and asked out of the blue if she wanted to stay with me tonight. It was sudden and as Natalie turned she smiled, but looked a little shocked.

“I don’t know where this is coming from but sure.  I’d like that.”

I assured her I felt safer when she was around and figured if she was taking me early to the doctor anyways she might as well not have to get up any earlier. I also made sure that was all it was. I wasn’t trying to be skeevy or expecting her to do anything.  She laughted at this. She thought it was cute and said she felt I had been respectful the entire time through all this and that she wasn’t worried.

Then with a wink she said:

“You better watch out there handsome, I might take advantage of your fragile state and help you decompress proper. There is more than one way to deal with stress.”

I smiled, knowing she was joking, but something in her smile and the wink said she may not entirely be kidding. Of course we both slept that night, and I had no nightmares. She slept next to me, and nothing ever came of the joke. I woke up the next morning and we headed to the doctors office.

The doc checked me out and then ran every test imaginable on me. She assured me she could find nothing wrong. Out of the blue Natalie snapped! She began tearing into the doc, telling her something was def wrong. I had never seen that sweet face so angry and I made a mental note not to ever upset her. I made a promise to myself I wouldn’t. I apologized to the doc and thanked Natalie for her concern, nonchalantly playing it off like it was going to be okay.

Natalie calmed and a cautious smile appeared on her face. She was still concerned but she seemed to be trusting me. We have only known one another a short time and yet if you didn’t know that, you would think we were married. That was a beautiful thought and brought a great calm over me.

I told myself then that this woman was everything I could ever want in anyone. I would marry her at some point. That is what I silently promised myself. Natalie apologized to the doc as well and we left. The next couple of months went by and I made a great recovery. I had no nightmares, no weakness. I had almost forgotten about that shadowy figure between feelings of love for Natalie (our relationship had progressed quickly over this time) and the stress over how I was going to pay all my medical bills.

Things were great despite the dichotomy of emotions running in my life at the moment. This day was like any other. The night however, was like no other. (I get it, I made a rhyme but it wasn’t intentional). On this night Natalie came over after her shift. She used my shower and then came back to my room. We talked for a time and then she told me something serious. Natalie said she loved me. She wanted to be sure I felt the same.  I told her of course, and I told her of my silent promise.

The most beautiful smile appeared on her lips. She then kissed me in a way she never had before. It was much more sensual, as I felt her hand head down south. We made out and then we made love. If you have never been in love then you are missing out. Making love is not having sex, it is so much more beautiful! My mind (among other things) was blown, my world was turned upside down. Together we slept that night, naked. Her body was so warm, so beautiful.

Everything was perfect in that moment…

That would all end the next night…

I awoke the next morning to find Natalie had already left.  She left the most beautiful love letter behind, and also explained she had to go to work. We were going to meet at the end of her shift. I was going to pick her up. I got in my car and prepared to drive over to get her. I was coming up on a 4 way crossing when everything grew cold, I had trouble breathing and the feeling had returned.

I’m sure it all happened quite fast, but it felt like an eternity. I remember the feeling, I remember seeing the figure in the middle of the street. It was more defined. A man in all black, a sickly pale skin. He still had red eyes, a black hat, a long crooked nose, and his teeth were stained with black. He wore an outfit that looked quite like a priests, had a shadowy black aura that resonated around him, and held a book that almost looked a bible but was much too big and the symbol on it wasn’t right either.

It was there he stood in the 4 way street, at the traffic lights, smiling as I struggled to keep conscious. My soul felt like it was leaving my body as I began to lose consciousness and then I heard a loud blaring. I think it was an 18 wheeler that smashed into my car. Everything was black after that. I was in a constant state of dreaming, or an unending nightmare.

I saw everything going on around me, on the outside, while I lay in a vegetative state in the hospital. It all played out like a sick movie. In my mind he was always there. He knew my name. He spoke to me now quite often. I remember one conversation distinctly. I watched Natalie crying her eyes out. He stood there talking to me as she did.

“You see kid, this is how it ends. Life is so unfair like that. You happened to come to an old bridge wrought with suicide. Your curiousity got the best of you. Now you lie in a state of life and death. A Schrödinger’s cat scenario in its own way.”

I wanted to speak but no words came out.

“Watch closely kid. You are about to die. This is one of my favorite parts of the film, that is your life.”

It was at this moment I felt a change. Now I was fully there, in the room. I no longer felt like I was viewing this from afar. No, I was in the room with Natalie, helplessly watching as she got the phone call. I distinctly remember the words, I’m sorry, Dylan is dead. I felt everything in me grow cold as Natalie dropped her phone and fell to her knees. She sobbed like I hadn’t seen a soul sob before.

I then spent the next year, (Well it was a year in the time of the living) watching as Natalie slowly lost herself to depression and despair. The sweet innocent soul I once knew was now a shattered, hollow shell of its former self. As time went on, Natalie began taking hard drugs, and cutting herself. She began to wind up in bed with unsavory men. She quit her job, lost touch with all her family and friends and lost herself.

The man in black spoke one night to me as I watched helplessly trying to tell Natalie to stop, and screaming for her to move on. She never noticed or heard my pleas as she started looking in a mirror and carving her face with a knife, slowly leaving mark after mark in her skin.

The man in black smiled, and laughed:

“It is no use kid. She can not hear you. This is all leading to the great climax. You are stuck with me, and as such, you are going to witness everything.”

I was confused and cried out to the sick figure!

“WHY?! Why do I deserve this?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! Can’t you at least save her?”

The last line I barely said, it was more of a whimper that left my lips.

The man smiled:

“Relax kid. You will be free to go to your next stop when this movie is through. You have to witness everything first. As for why…who says you deserve any of this? I’d liken it to your being too curious for your own good. After all curiosity killed more than just the cat kid.”

I WAS SO ANGRY!

I was broken, I was trapped…I could neither hurt this man, nor could I help my dear Natalie. I have never felt a greater feeling of complete worthlessness as I did then. Months went by, she continued the self destructive tendencies. She lost herself.  Natalie stopped selling her body for money and simply sold it for drugs.

She had sex with all kinds of men, often many at the same time. For a time it was only for drugs. Then she started just doing it. I found an entry in her diary once that explained this. She mentioned how she did this because she didn’t care about the money or the drugs anymore. She simply did it because. It, in some ways was the only thing left that made her feel semi alive.

This eventually changed.

At some point she did it to do it. She hoped someone would just kill her. She felt for sure someone finally would. These were bad men, surely they would kill her and then she could see “Her Dylan” again. It was at this point the man in black smiled.

“Ain’t that sweet kid. She really must love you. Strange how she shows it.”

The cycle continued for quite a while.

Sex, punishment…sex, punishment, sex…punishment. I had lost track of all the men she had been with at this point as well as all the scars she had carved into her body. Then one night she screamed at the top of her lungs that there was no God, that she hated life, and that she was going to end it all.

I wanted to stop her but I knew there was no way I could. Like a sick prophecy I was about to see my worst nightmares come true. You would think you are already dead so surely it couldn’t get any worse. You would be wrong. There are so many things FAR WORSE…than death.

I vaguely heard the man in black speak again. I’d stopped caring a long time ago.

“Get ready kid, this is how the movie ends.”

You can guess what happened next.

It was midnight, on a cold rainy night.  I could feel the rain that night, despite my current state of death and lack of a physical body. That is the funny thing science doesn’t get. They think you experience love, pain, and other things due to the mind, but that isn’t true. Your soul feels all these things. That is how phantom limb pain is a thing.

Death isn’t the end of pain unfortunately…at least it wasn’t for me.

There we stood, Suicide bridge. Natalie climbed on the edge. Standing there in the rain and the wind. The whistle of an oncoming train was so powerful you would swear it was the cries of a demon getting ready to devour a meal. In this case Natalie was that meal, and in a way the analogy rang true.

The rain beat down cold, uncaring. The wind blew like fate. The man in black smiled, putting a black boot on the railing of the bridge as he lit a cigarette. I remember thinking for a brief second, fuck…I didn’t know cigarettes were a thing after death, before refocusing on Natalie who stood on the edge.

The man in black spoke:

“That is cute, she probably thinks she is going to see you again.  Touching considering where she really is headed. You both are about to take the same train, but you are getting off at separate stops.”

Natalie flipped off the skies above and then looked down below. She then spoke her last words.

Smiling, she said, tears rolling down her face:

“I love you Dylan. I’m sorry things ended like this…”

That sick voice spoke again.

“Any last requests kid?”

I stared bleary eyed and at a loss before speaking.

“I could really use a damn cigarette.”

The man in black let out a twisted laugh. He then slipped a cigarette into my shirt pocket with a sick smile of amusement before speaking.

“One for the road kid. Smoke it when you get to where you are going next. We will meet again sooner than you think.”

Then I looked up and watched as Natalie closed her eyes and fell forwards towards the oncoming train. I felt a shove from behind and I was now falling too. Then I looked up and saw the monstrous black train heading right for us. It’s scream the last thing I heard before everything went black.

I woke up here shortly after, in Black Winter. I have searched but found no sign of Natalie. I won’t give up though. I haven’t seen the man in black yet, but I can’t help but feel I will sooner than I’d like to. It is odd…I feel a powerful connection to the figure. It is fucked up. I’m smoking the cigarette he gave me telling you all about the fucked up end of my life and the even more fucked up nightmare that is my after life.

The cigarette just lit itself when I put it in my mouth. I don’t really care to question why anymore. I have a lot of questions and not very many answers. I want you all to know something. If you have taken the time to hear my story, and you have learned anything from it.

I hope it is to cherish those you love the most, and to enjoy life while you have it.

It is funny how every day we take for granted. We get wrapped up in jobs, bills, life…and yet we never notice how precious a gift life truly is, until it is too late. I’m not sure what is next for me, or even that I fully understand why I wound up with the fate I have been dealt.

I’m sure a large part of it had to be my investigating that bridge. I’m also quite sure I didn’t deserve any of this.

It doesn’t matter now though does it?

If it all had to do with that damn bridge then that brings up a ton of other questions doesn’t it?

It also makes me laugh in a morbid sense.  I guess the man in black was right.

Curiosity (at least in this case) really did kill more than just the cat.

Goodbye souls, I’m sure we will speak again.

I know you will hear of me for sure.

Black Winter has a way of sharing  the stories of souls like mine.

I’m going to keep smoking this cigarette and plan my next move.

Cheers!

-SinisterStoryTime: #3: Suicide & Tragedy-

 

Entry 45: Nova Daniels #2

I saw a message on a wall today

In blood, this is what it had to say

7 words hold a key

Rearranged into 5

If you solve this

Then there is a chance you will survive

Unlocking a piece of the puzzle

That is the mystery of this town

Black Winter holds so many things

Potentially answers to questions you ponder

I know this is why you wander

If you seek your husbands fate

Then answers you will need to make

Start here and answer this

Soon enough you will find other puzzles to solve

You can even enlist the help of others in a world beyond

Likely they are reading your plight

Unaware they might someday to

Find themselves awaking in a town they thought

Only a fictional mystery, with an eerie history

That is all I can say

Enough of the 4th wall has been broken for today.

So it was I found a pen

Sitting on top of a trash can and with I wrote

A message of my own

If anyone can see this I pray, an answer you will have for me today

Here is what I found with the pen

A simple message held within

It reads:

Oh Atheistic Wonderfulness Oft It

So if you are reading this I pray to you

Help me solve this puzzle please

I need to find my husband soon

Lest my mind be left in ruin

So would you help me please

To solve this and any other mysteries

I’m putting my trust in you

Please come through

Thank you…

-Nova Daniels #2-